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Ms. Green:
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Hello, Doctor Balis.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hello, Anna. What happened to you last time?
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Ms. Green:
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Didn't I tell you I was going to be in New York?
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Dr. Balis:
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No. You mentioned there was a possibility of a business trip to New York in a couple of weeks, but...
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Ms. Green:
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Oh God, I'm so sorry, Doctor. I didn't even think...I'm really sorry.
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Dr. Balis:
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Apology accepted. Please sit down, Anna. How are you feeling these days? Did you go to the Dore Alley event?
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Ms. Green:
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Yes, I went. We got there first thing in the morning, about eleven, I think. Two detectives I've never met before showed up at my door even before I had a chance to shower. They sat in my kitchen in these outrageous open-butt leather pants while I was getting ready. I swear my neighbors must think all kinds of wild things go on in this house.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm. Did they bring you something to wear as well?
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Ms. Green:
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They got me these very short leather shorts and a bra. I refused the bra, but wore the shorts. I put on a black T-shirt instead, and they seemed to be happy. They had this collar they were going to put on me, but I refused it, too. I let them put the leather cuffs on, though.
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Dr. Balis:
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I see. You really didn't have to do any of this, right?
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Ms. Green:
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I guess technically it was a favor, but that's not how they made me feel.
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Dr. Balis:
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How did you feel?
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Ms. Green:
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I felt compelled. There was no way for me to get out of going. They are so good at manipulation.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm.
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Ms. Green:
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And I felt it was my price for going to New York.
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Dr. Balis:
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What do you mean? You were free to go, Anna. You're not under investigation any more, are you?
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Ms. Green:
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No.
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Dr. Balis:
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Did you think more about seeing a lawyer?
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Ms. Green:
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I had a long conversation with my dad last week. I told him everything that happened...well, not everything. But I told him about Kathy, and what happened to her, and how I'm involved.
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Dr. Balis:
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That's very good. How did he react?
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Ms. Green:
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He was appropriately freaked. He was going to talk with the detectives, but I discouraged him--I told him it would get me into more trouble. But he doesn't know about the S&M thing, though.
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Dr. Balis:
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What do you mean?
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Ms. Green:
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Well, I guess I did a lot of heavy editing. I didn't tell him about Martin and Kathy and me, for example. I never told him that I was into it. I just said that I felt compelled as a human being to help Kathy when she showed up at my door.
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Dr. Balis:
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I see. So your dad doesn't really know what went on?
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Ms. Green:
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He knows enough, Doctor. It was a shock as it was; I didn't want him to have a heart attack or something. We agreed that the whole thing will stay just between me and him. We are not going to tell mother about any of it. She would really freak out.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm. So what exactly did you tell your dad?
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Ms. Green:
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I told him how Kathy came to me without any place to stay, all alone, in need of help. I told him a little about Kathy's past, and how her parents died when she was very young, and what a horrible childhood she had. My dad was sympathetic. He told me, if it was him, he probably wouldn't have been able to turn Kathy away either.
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Dr. Balis:
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I see.
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Ms. Green:
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He was angry at me for not coming to him sooner. But I told him that everything just went out of my control and things fell apart. I guess I should have told him something earlier. I told him that it was stupid of me not to tell, and he understood.
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Dr. Balis:
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So your dad is going to cover for you with your mom now?
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Ms. Green:
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He's good at that. We did it before when I totaled my first car--one of the reasons I don't really have a car now.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm. Is your dad going to help you?
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Ms. Green:
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He drove up to San Francisco, and we met with his friend. His friend is a lawyer. But since he's a friend of the family, I don't really feel like it was a true consultation.
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Dr. Balis:
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What do you mean?
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Ms. Green:
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Well, I don't feel like I would have to disclose our conversation to the police, for example.
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Dr. Balis:
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Anna, are the police asking if you are talking to a lawyer? Moreover, your conversation is protected by attorney-client privilege. But that's only if this person is acting as your attorney when you talked to him. Did this lawyer tell you something different?
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Ms. Green:
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I didn't feel like it was a true consultation.
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Dr. Balis:
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Why not?
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Ms. Green:
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Because there was never any exchange of cash for services...
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Dr. Balis:
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That doesn't matter.
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Ms. Green:
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And I didn't tell him everything. He knows far less than the police does, even less than my dad.
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Dr. Balis:
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I see.
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Ms. Green:
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My dad was there--I wasn't going to volunteer information to this guy about my sexual preferences in front of my dad.
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Dr. Balis:
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Did this man give you any advice?
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Ms. Green:
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He pretty much recommended what you did.
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Dr. Balis:
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And what is that?
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Ms. Green:
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He told me not to let them pressure me into anything. And that if at any point I start to feel like there's something wrong, I should immediately tell them to stop and tell them that I need to consult with my attorney.
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Dr. Balis:
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I see. Does your dad know about the Dore Alley event?
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Ms. Green:
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Yes. I told him that the police wanted my help in their investigation and that they asked me to go undercover to an S&M event. I guess "undercover" is the wrong term, huh?
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Dr. Balis:
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How did your dad feel about that?
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Ms. Green:
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At first, he was freaked. But then he was proud of me for doing something so courageous.
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Dr. Balis:
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Really?
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Ms. Green:
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I told him how strongly I felt about the need to catch Kathy's assailant. What she did might have been wrong, but he still had no right to do what he did to her.
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Dr. Balis:
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And your dad was supportive of your efforts to help the police in their investigation?
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Ms. Green:
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As I said, I didn't really tell him everything.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm. How are you going to keep your dad from talking with the police?
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Ms. Green:
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I told him that I was under a gag order and that I violated it to talk to him. I said that I would be in trouble if he interfered. Don't look at me like that, Doctor. What I told him was true--I promised not to talk about Kathy's investigation with anyone, and that included him.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm.
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Ms. Green:
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It was sort of funny.
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Dr. Balis:
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What was?
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Ms. Green:
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My dad. It's like he's a character from a made-for-TV movie or something.
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Dr. Balis:
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What do you mean?
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Ms. Green:
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He's very much into this secrecy and getting the bad guy stuff. And he's proud of me.
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Dr. Balis:
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Proud of you?
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Ms. Green:
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He's very proud of me for taking risks and helping the police get the bad guy. Oh, I know that he's very worried about me. He now calls me several times a day, every day. But it's nice. I miss my parents.
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Dr. Balis:
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I'm glad your dad can give you some emotional support.
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Ms. Green:
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Yeah. And he also promised to tell his professor friend--whose house I'm living in--about this whole mess.
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Dr. Balis:
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That's nice of him. Does he know about the dungeon and his friend's affinity for S&M?
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Ms. Green:
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Well...
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Dr. Balis:
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I have a feeling you didn't really tell your dad much, did you?
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Ms. Green:
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How could I? He's my dad.
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Dr. Balis:
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Won't he find out eventually?
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Ms. Green:
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His friends are not going to tell him, I'm not going to tell him, the police are not going to tell him...
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Dr. Balis:
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It would be better if he learns the truth from you, Anna.
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Ms. Green:
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He knows enough. And I now feel like I have someone to talk to...
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Dr. Balis:
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You don't really.
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Ms. Green:
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It's like I'm my dad's hero now. It's very sweet. I like it very much, Doctor.
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Dr. Balis:
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All right. We'll come back to your parents later. How did it go at the Dore Alley event?
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Ms. Green:
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Well, we got there early. There weren't a lot of people yet. There was this giant set of speakers at the entrance, playing some horrible music very loudly. I couldn't even hear myself think. That whole block was pretty much clear of people because of that stupid noise. So we went to the actual Dore Alley. It's a very little street--one block long. And there, they were playing nice jazz, and there were little booths set up to sell S&M paraphernalia.
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Dr. Balis:
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Did you see anyone you knew?
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Ms. Green:
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I saw Grey.
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Dr. Balis:
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Really? How did that make you feel?
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Ms. Green:
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It was unpleasant, mostly. He was with two people he was leading on a leash. It was sort of gross. But he looked good.
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Dr. Balis:
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I see. Did he notice you?
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Ms. Green:
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Yes. But I walked past him without even saying hello. My two tagalongs were pissed at me for not really making an effort to start up conversations. But as far as I was concerned, my job was to just have them be seen with me. And that's all.
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Dr. Balis:
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They were pretending to be your masters?
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Ms. Green:
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Yes. They even dragged me to a booth with all these paddles and whips and stuff.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm.
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Ms. Green:
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And they made me put out my arms so they could hit me with this stuff a few times. That was unpleasant. They were just trying to do what everyone else there was doing. But I thought they went too far.
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Dr. Balis:
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Did you stop them?
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Ms. Green:
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I gave it right back to them. It was sort of fun to spank the bare ass of a detective. And they couldn't really do much about it.
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Dr. Balis:
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I see.
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Ms. Green:
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But it was generally very pleasant. I saw a lot of people I knew there. Everyone was nice. They said hello to each other and gave each other little cheek-kisses. It was very civilized. If not for the naked asses, exposed dicks, and bare breasts--and if not for the most outlandish outfits and conversations--it would have been as fun as a knitting convention.
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Dr. Balis:
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I doubt that.
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Ms. Green:
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No really, people were very nice to each other. Very nice. It was a bit surreal, even. There was this guy dressed only in ropes with his hands tied behind his back. He would come along and say something like, "Darling! It's so nice to see you, dear." Frankly, I expected far worse.
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Dr. Balis:
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How long did you stay?
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Ms. Green:
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I left after an hour. The guys stayed. I don't really know what happened as the afternoon progressed. I was out of there. And then I was in New York.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm. Well, we're out of time. Please let me know next time you need to miss a session.
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Ms. Green:
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I'm very sorry about that, Doctor. I've been having problems dealing with reality lately. I missed a bunch of appointments last week. I keep forgetting somehow.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm. We should talk about that next time.
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Ms. Green:
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Okay. Have a good evening, Doctor.
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Dr. Balis:
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You too, Anna. Take care of yourself.
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###
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Doctor Balis' Notes on this Session
Transcripts of Anna Green's Communications
