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Ms. Green:
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Hello, Doctor Balis.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hello, Anna. So you've been sick again?
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Ms. Green:
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Yeah. I seem not to have any resistance at all. A person just has to sneeze in my general direction for me to come down with a 103 fever.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm. How much weight have you lost this summer?
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Ms. Green:
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I'm not really sure. Maybe twenty pounds? I went down about two dress sizes, see?
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Dr. Balis:
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Keep your pants on, Anna.
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Ms. Green:
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I wasn't going to take them off completely, Doctor. Relax. But see? I've lost almost four inches off my waist.
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Dr. Balis:
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Have you talked to a doctor about it?
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Ms. Green:
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I'm talking to you.
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Dr. Balis:
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I don't like that you've been getting sick so much, Anna.
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Ms. Green:
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Neither do I, Doctor.
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Dr. Balis:
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You've got to start taking better care of yourself.
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Ms. Green:
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I'm trying. And my new department is very good about that, too. They make sure that we eat well, and when we stay late, they provide cars to take us home. This is a much better deal than being a programmer, I tell you.
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Dr. Balis:
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I'm glad you like your new job.
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Ms. Green:
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It's great. I can't tell you what I'm working on, but it's way cool. And I like the people in my department. Do you know that the average IQ in our section of the building is about 150?
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Dr. Balis:
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That's very impressive.
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Ms. Green:
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And everyone is nice, too. Oh, we've been doing this little side project. You might like it.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm?
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Ms. Green:
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Well, we have this theory about Clinton.
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Dr. Balis:
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Is that what you really want to talk about today?
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Ms. Green:
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Bear with me. We have this theory that Clinton's current difficulties have really been carefully orchestrated by none other than his lovely wife, Hillary. Let me explain.
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Dr. Balis:
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Briefly.
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Ms. Green:
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Briefly, if you insist. Given all that we now know, we believe that Clinton had several extramarital affairs prior to becoming president, and that Hillary knew all about them. But she was very ambitious and was willing to forgive her husband's indiscretions as long as she was able to get into the White House. But the idiot wouldn't stop fooling around--real stupid.
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Dr. Balis:
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I agree.
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Ms. Green:
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Well, good old Hillary didn't like that, but she wanted to insure staying in the White House for two terms.
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Dr. Balis:
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So that's your theory?
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Ms. Green:
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We think...
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Dr. Balis:
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We?
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Ms. Green:
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Yes, our department. We think that Hillary knew about Bill and Monica. But yelling and screaming at her husband wouldn't have really yielded anything for her. And she can't get divorced. So, like any woman in her position, she wanted revenge. But a subtle and kind of ingenius revenge--she's really smart, remember. So Hillary went out and campaigned for Bill. She went on the TV shows and said that this was a right wing republican conspiracy to malign her good husband. She told everyone how she believed her husband was wrongfully accused. She said that Bill just wants to help people because of his innate good nature and deeply held religious convictions. That was why he was helping Monica get a job and why he was being nice to her in general.
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Dr. Balis:
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I see.
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Ms. Green:
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If you don't believe me, read Starr's report. The staff members of the White House testified that Hillary kept insisting those were Bill's only motivations for seeing Monica.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm.
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Ms. Green:
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And I bet when Bill came to Hillary to talk about the Paula Jones lawsuit, he lied and told Hillary he had never taken his pants off or asked her for a blow job--he said that it was all politically motivated. Hillary told him that she believed him completely--and what's more, she kept pushing him deeper into the shit by insisting that he repeat his lie to everyone. "I believe you, honey. And I want everyone else to believe you as well. I know that you'd never lie to me." Hillary's running his legal strategy, so she probably insisted that he not settle the Jones lawsuit--not at any price. Just think about it. If Clinton settled with Paula, this whole thing wouldn't be an issue right now--no lawsuit, no perjury charges, no possibility of impeachment. But Hillary wouldn't let him settle. She let Bill dig his own hole deeper and deeper.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm.
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Ms. Green:
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And last January, when Monica announced that she would testify to having an affair with the president, Hillary asked Bill whether it was true. Bill said, "Of course not, honey." Hillary then insisted that Bill tell that to the nation--"I believe in you, dear!" Bill give a very angry and negative speech: "Listen to me. I never had a sexual relationship with that woman." And after his grand jury testimony, when he finally had to cop to getting sucked off by Monica, we know that he wanted to give a very apologetic and weepy speech, but Hillary strongly advised against it. She told him to attack Starr and the $40 million. She set herself up to be the marter--the poor, loving, gullible wife protecting her husband.
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Dr. Balis:
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Are you...
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Ms. Green:
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Just one more minute. Basically, Hillary set Bill up. If anything goes down now, she will be remembered as the innocent one and Bill will be the lying sex monster who couldn't keep it in his pants. I've heard that she's receiving bigger offers for her book than either Bill or Monica is.
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Dr. Balis:
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I see your point...
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Ms. Green:
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She's young, and she has places to go. Bill...well, we'll see how history will make him out to be, but their fates are no longer closely intertwined. After he's out of office, she'll probably quietly divorce him. Oh, and remember that story the White House tried to float through Dick Morris about Hillary being a lesbian? I bet she didn't like that at all.
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Dr. Balis:
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Let's get back to our session, Anna.
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Ms. Green:
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Okay. Oh, and we are seeding this story out through the Internet. We're interested to see if our Hillary conspiracy theory--which we admit is speculative fiction--gets adopted and becomes popular.
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Dr. Balis:
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You're spreading your story via the Internet?
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Ms. Green:
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We have our ways, Doctor.
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Dr. Balis:
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That's a bit frightening.
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Ms. Green:
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You don't know the half of it, Doctor. And Lloyd is totally into this, too.
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Dr. Balis:
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Lloyd Major, the CEO?
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Ms. Green:
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He's been hanging around with us for our HC Meetings--Hillary Conspiracy.
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Dr. Balis:
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I'm glad you're doing such important work in your new department.
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Ms. Green:
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We work very hard, Doctor, but we play, too.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm. So how has it been working out with Martin? You work together, and is he still staying in your house?
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Ms. Green:
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Yeah. It's been okay to work together. And it's been nice to have someone taking care of me while I was sick. He was very good about that. It's strange.
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Dr. Balis:
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What is?
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Ms. Green:
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It's so easy to fall into old patterns of behavior.
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Dr. Balis:
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What do you mean?
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Ms. Green:
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I keep catching myself acting like I used to act when we were together. We're not having sex or anything, don't worry, Doctor.
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Dr. Balis:
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That's good.
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Ms. Green:
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But I find myself snuggling close to him while we watch the television. I fell asleep on his lap a few times. And when I woke up, there were a few moments when I forgot that we were not together like that anymore, and I...well, you get the idea.
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Dr. Balis:
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I do. And how does Martin feel about living with you?
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Ms. Green:
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He feels very strongly that he is responsible for everything that happened.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm.
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Ms. Green:
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And he said that he will stay and protect me as long as necessary.
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Dr. Balis:
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I see. And how is the investigation going? Did they find Kathy yet?
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Ms. Green:
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No. There is no trace of her. Martin has been going to our S&M club events regularly, and no one has heard anything about Kathy there either.
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Dr. Balis:
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So Martin still...
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Ms. Green:
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Sure, he never gave it up. I encourage him to pursue his sexuality. He is not hurting anyone, literally. And I would rather not live with a sexually frustrated foot fetisher, you know?
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Dr. Balis:
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Yeah...
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Ms. Green:
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At least one of us is getting it on regular basis. It's been a very long time since I've seen any action.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm.
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Ms. Green:
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Caren and Greg...remember them?
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Dr. Balis:
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I do.
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Ms. Green:
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They're having a baby. She's not really showing yet, but she's been puking her guts out every day at the office, so I hear.
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Dr. Balis:
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Do you talk to them much?
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Ms. Green:
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I guess we've really drifted apart in the last year. They have each other, and now, they have the baby. And they don't really understand me anymore.
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Dr. Balis:
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I see.
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Ms. Green:
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I like the people in my department. They are a lot less judgmental. They've sort of adopted this hedonistic philosophy--anything goes as long as it brings pleasure and doesn't hurt anyone.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm.
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Ms. Green:
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It's much better that way. The people from my old programming department were so repressed by comparison. All those porno flicks that we used to watch...it was all because they really didn't have any sex in their real lives. People who actually get to do it and to experiment, they don't need as much of that kind of stimulation.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm. And what do you mean by doing it and experimentation?
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Ms. Green:
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Well, it's...it covers a lot of ground, Doctor Balis.
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Dr. Balis:
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Can you give me a for instance?
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Ms. Green:
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Well, they told me about Sylvia Bows. She was an SII executive who got the company's medical records and did it with all the men that had good genetics and that were HIV negative. She did it with a few people from my department as well. She had sex to get pregnant and to get back at her husband for having a secret vasectomy. I think that was cool. And no one really got hurt. I was told she was very good in bed, too.
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Dr. Balis:
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I see. So you approve?
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Ms. Green:
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I do. And everyone is cool about my experimentations with S&M. They don't think I'm somehow perverted because I enjoy it. That's very refreshing. I can talk to these people about how it feels like and what I like, and they act interested and supportive--not at all like the guys from programming.
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Dr. Balis:
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How was that?
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Ms. Green:
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They thought I was a freak.
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Dr. Balis:
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I see. So you talk about sex with your current office mates?
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Ms. Green:
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Sex is very important. And there's nothing wrong with it. We all think it's healthy to talk about sex, don't you?
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Dr. Balis:
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I believe sex is a good topic of conversation, but perhaps not at work. That can set up some very uncomfortable situations. Don't you think?
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Ms. Green:
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It can. It sure did in the programming department. But not with these people.
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Dr. Balis:
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Why not?
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Ms. Green:
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They're different. Maybe it's because they're smarter then most.
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Dr. Balis:
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I see. Well, we're out of time for today, Anna.
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Ms. Green:
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I see that. I should be getting back to work anyway.
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Dr. Balis:
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Work?
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Ms. Green:
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Well, we have a little field trip planned for this evening.
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Dr. Balis:
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Do you want to tell me about it?
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Ms. Green:
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I'm not sure you'd understand.
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Dr. Balis:
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Try me.
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Ms. Green:
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Well, there's this place in Oakland--the Edgewater Motel.
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Dr. Balis:
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I'm not going to like this.
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Ms. Green:
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It's sort of a voyeur place--people keep their window shades up. You do it, they watch; they do it, you watch.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm.
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Ms. Green:
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Don't growl, Doctor. I'm not going alone. And I don't really want to do anything...well, not the first time, anyway.
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Dr. Balis:
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Anna, you always manage to come up...
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Ms. Green:
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Don't freak out, it's cool. I'm a big girl, Doctor. And I like to watch. See you next week.
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Dr. Balis:
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Goodbye, Anna.
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Ms. Green:
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Aren't you going to wish me a good time?
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Dr. Balis:
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Don't get hurt.
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Ms. Green:
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I won't.
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###
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