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Dr. Balis:
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Hello, Decker. You're late. How are you doing today?
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Mr. Jenkins:
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Sorry about that. But I'm glad you're here, Doc...just glad you're here.
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Dr. Balis:
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Oh? And why is that?
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Mr. Jenkins:
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Well, you're going to think I'm an idiot after telling you this, but I forgot last Thursday was Thanksgiving.
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Dr. Balis:
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Don't tell me you showed up for your session last week?
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Mr. Jenkins:
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As a matter of fact...
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Dr. Balis:
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I'm sorry, Decker. I should have called you and...
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Mr. Jenkins:
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Well, I would have known it was canceled, if I'd used my brain. But I was just going through the motions of a Thursday morning, and it never even crossed my mind until I went to pull open the front door and it was locked. At first, I was a little confused, but then I realized everything else was closed too. Let me tell you, I felt like a dope.
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Dr. Balis:
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I'm glad you can laugh about it.
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Mr. Jenkins:
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Well, it is kind of funny. The people walking by probably thought I was a lunatic--I kept trying to pull the door open wondering why the damn thing was locked. Then when it hit me, I turned around and there was some guy walking by, and I just said, "Oh shit, it's Thanksgiving." He looked at me kind of strange and kept walking. Then I burst into laughter.
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Dr. Balis:
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So what did you do for Thanksgiving?
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Mr. Jenkins:
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Not a damn thing. Just sat in my apartment and watched football. I had a ham sandwich with potato chips for lunch and then channel surfed all day and night. It was rather relaxing--not a worry in my mind that day.
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Dr. Balis:
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That's good. Did you feel lonely?
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Mr. Jenkins:
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After the childhood I've had, a quiet holiday was very refreshing. Not a soul bothered me. And I didn't have to be on my best behavior, worrying if I would say or do something that would result in me getting smacked on the side of the head with a spoon or fist or whatever was handy. It was an enjoyable day.
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Dr. Balis:
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Good. I wanted to ask you why you canceled our last session?
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Mr. Jenkins:
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I had to bail Telso out of jail. He got arrested on some drug charges. They found a bunch of cocaine on him the night before during a routine traffic stop. I guess this is like the third or fourth time he's been arrested for it, so he's pretty afraid of getting some jail time this time.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm.
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Mr. Jenkins:
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Whatever, it's really not my concern.
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Dr. Balis:
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Do I hear some animosity there?
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Mr. Jenkins:
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You could say that. It cost me a fortune to get him out of jail, and he promised to pay me back that day after he did a few things. I haven't seen him since. I don't know where he is. I don't really care either, although I would like the money back. If he jumps bail, it's my ass.
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Dr. Balis:
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I'm sorry, Decker. I hope you get your money back. Anyway, I was hoping to talk a bit about your childhood. Do you think you're up for it?
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Mr. Jenkins:
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Sure, what's the hell. There really isn't much to tell. I got hit a lot, and I never got anything. Karen always did what she wanted to do. She never even thought about me, unless she thought I did something that deserved a nice beating. Sometimes, I got one just because she felt like hitting something. I guess I was softer then the wall.
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Dr. Balis:
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Do you have any fond memories of Karen?
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Mr. Jenkins:
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Other than seeing her get beat up herself? Not really.
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Dr. Balis:
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Was Karen abused as well?
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Mr. Jenkins:
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Karen didn't bring home the local preacher from down the street, you know. The guys she brought home for dinner liked to eat, fuck, and then beat.Well, most of them, anyway. Some of them would hit me, too. A lot of the time, it was Karen who was the one that asked them to do it. She would tell them that she could not control me and that I needed a good beating by a man. They were more than happy to do it, if they knew there was a good blow job in it for them. Karen never hid her sexual relations from me. She would do it anywhere. A lot of the time, I would get hit by the men because I would walk out and see them making it on the kitchen table or something. Guys don't like other guys watching them fuck a woman, even if the woman is a trashy whore.
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Dr. Balis:
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Did you like any of the men that Karen brought home?
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Mr. Jenkins:
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Not too many of them ever came back for seconds. I doubt if Karen even knew most of their names, and I'm sure they didn't care to know hers. Occasionally, she'd have a man that stayed around for awhile. They were few and far between. But there was this one guy, Ralph was his name if I remember correctly. He stayed for about a week and a half. He lived with us during that time. I guess you can call this a fond memory of Karen. During that time, she was nice to me. She made dinner every night, and we all sat at the table and ate. It was very strange to do that, though. I remember thinking that Karen was trying to make this guy think that we were one big happy family, and that she was trying to find someone who would love her and her wonderful son. It was all an act of course, but it was a great week. The three of us would actually go to the movies and do family stuff like that. I knew it wouldn't last long, because Karen would fuck it up somehow.
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Dr. Balis:
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What happened?
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Mr. Jenkins:
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Well, Ralph and I were at home one night watching TV or something, and I remember Ralph was pretty pissed. Karen was supposed to be home from work, but she wasn't. Ralph threw me in the car and told me to take him to where she worked. So I did. He went in, and about five minutes later, we were driving to some guy's house. Ralph told me to wait in the car, and he got something out of the trunk. Then he went into the house. I heard this gunshot a few minutes later. I jumped out of the car because I was very scared. Ralph came out alone, jumped in the car, and sped off. I hid in the bushes for what seemed like forever, then I decided to go inside. I saw Karen sitting on the bed naked. She was covered--and I mean totally covered--in blood. There was another naked body laying on the floor. The only difference was that his head was missing. Now that I think back, his head was splattered all over Karen.
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Dr. Balis:
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How old were you then?
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Mr. Jenkins:
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About eleven or twelve.
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Dr. Balis:
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Had Simian made his appearance yet?
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Mr. Jenkins:
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Uh, I don't remember. No, I don't think so. But if he wasn't there then, it was very soon after.
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Dr. Balis:
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So what happened to Ralph?
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Mr. Jenkins:
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I don't know. Karen never spoke of him again, and I never saw him again. Karen was messed up for a long time after that. She would go into hysterics in the middle of the night. She started drinking more and doing drugs. That's when the beatings really started, and I started to stay in my room all the time.
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Dr. Balis:
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Did Karen hit you before this time at all?
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Mr. Jenkins:
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Yes, but not nearly as much or as bad.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm.
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Mr. Jenkins:
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I survived, though...not without having my own problems.
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Dr. Balis:
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Well, that's why you come to see me, so we can work through these problems. We don't have much time left, so let's change the subject for now. Have you talked to Chris?
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Mr. Jenkins:
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No, with the holidays and all, I think she has been busy with the family and that sort of thing. I may call her this week. It would be nice to see a pretty face. Not that you're not a handsome man, Doctor, but I kind of like her figure better.
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Dr. Balis:
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You have quite the sense of humor, Decker.
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Mr. Jenkins:
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I try.
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Dr. Balis:
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Well, we're about out of time. Is there anything else you'd like to quickly discuss?
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Mr. Jenkins:
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Not that I can think of.
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Dr. Balis:
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All right then, I'll see you next week.
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Mr. Jenkins:
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Goodbye, Doctor Balis.
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###
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Doctor Balis' Notes on this Session
Transcripts of Decker Jenkins' Communications
