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Ms. Trent:
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Doctor Balis, this is my friend Sammy Mitchell. Sambo, please meet Doctor Balis, my sanity check.
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Ms. Mitchell:
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Hello, Doctor. I've heard so much about you.
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Dr. Balis:
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All good, I hope. It's nice to meet you Ms. Mitchell.
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Ms. Trent:
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Ha! "Ms.," what a hoot!
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Dr. Balis:
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Well, Madeline, you're a bit late for your session today.
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Ms. Trent:
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Sorry about that. Time seems to just slip me by when Sambo's here.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm. Let's get started then. Ms. Mitchell, would you mind waiting outside while Madeline and I talk?
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Ms. Mitchell:
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Uh, sure. But honestly, I was hoping to check out that comfy couch and get my psyche evaluated.
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Ms. Trent:
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Sammy! I told you that you'd have to wait out there for me.
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Ms. Mitchell:
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Come on, Cheech, you're no fun.
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Ms. Trent:
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Oh God! Don't start that whole "Cheech and Chong" thing in front of my therapist! That's from junior high school!
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Dr. Balis:
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Ladies, please. If we could just get...
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Ms. Mitchell:
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What? Are you ashamed to be Cheech of "Cheech and Chong?" I thought we would always be Cheech and Chong!
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Ms. Trent:
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Uh, the Dynamic Duo or something...just knock it off, okay? You're really starting to embarrass me.
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Ms. Mitchell:
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You better be nice to me, Chee, or I'll snitch on you to Jesse.
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Ms. Trent:
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Uh, moving forward...
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Ms. Mitchell:
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That's right; what would your sweet Jesse think if he knew about your little toy in the bottom drawer?
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Ms. Trent:
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Sammy! Please stop!
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Dr. Balis:
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Sammy, please step outside. Madeline and I won't be long now.
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Ms. Mitchell:
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Oh, all right. Just make sure you ask her about Big Bubba!
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Ms. Trent:
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Oh God!
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Dr. Balis:
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Sammy's a very interesting character.
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Ms. Trent:
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Yeah.
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Dr. Balis:
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You seem a bit out of sorts today, Madeline. Are you all right?
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Ms. Trent:
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Just peachy, Doc.
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Dr. Balis:
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I see.
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Ms. Trent:
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Okay, Bubba is my vibrator. I call it "Bubba" because he...uh, it has a lot of attachments and stuff. I really bought it on a lark to freak out Sammy.
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Dr. Balis:
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You don't have to explain Bubba, Madeline.
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Ms. Trent:
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I know. But I feel kind of funny about her bringing it up.
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Dr. Balis:
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Why do you think she did that?
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Ms. Trent:
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Because she's a nut. Because I'm a nut.
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Dr. Balis:
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Could it be that both of you are a bit under the influence. What is it, Madeline? Marijuana?
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Ms. Trent:
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What?
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Dr. Balis:
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Have you been smoking marijuana, Madeline?
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Ms. Trent:
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Oh, come on, Doctor. Don't tell me you never smoked a little weed to take the edge off.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm.
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Ms. Trent:
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And don't tell me that it's illegal, or that it kills brain cells--I could spare a few.
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Dr. Balis:
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I have to say I'm surprised. This seems most unlike you, Madeline.
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Ms. Trent:
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Is it against the law for me to loosen up every once in a while? I mean, really! I can be just as fun loving and carefree as the next pot head.
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Dr. Balis:
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Do you smoke marijuana often?
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Ms. Trent:
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No. Sammy brought it here as a special treat. We used to smoke pot together when we were in high school. We had some great times together then. Now, we hardly see each other anymore. I'm trying to convince her to move out here. I talked to this guy Vinnie at work, and he might be interested in hiring her...or just dating her--that's always a possibility. She really needs to settle down and get married. But why should she do that? She's seen what settling down has done for me. That ought to scare her away from men for good.
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Dr. Balis:
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Madeline, I don't...
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Ms. Trent:
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Most pricks don't.
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Dr. Balis:
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That was uncalled for.
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Ms. Trent:
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Lighten up, Doctor B. It was a joke. Sorry, man. Here, take this as an apology gift or whatever.
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Dr. Balis:
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A joint? No thank you.
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Ms. Trent:
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"Just say no," huh? Okay. More for me, none for you!
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Dr. Balis:
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Madeline, I think you...
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Ms. Trent:
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You're really mad at me, aren't you?
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Dr. Balis:
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I'm concerned.
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Ms. Trent:
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Oh, come on. I'm not a druggie, okay? It's just a couple joints to celebrate Sammy's arrival. I'm not growing the stuff. Heck, I haven't even had a toke since I was in college.
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Dr. Balis:
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Well, I'm relieved to know that this has not been a regular occurrence...
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Ms. Trent:
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Good! Then please, lay off the parental-figure stuff, all right?
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Dr. Balis:
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Madeline, I think it would be best if continued this conversation next week. You're not in the right frame of mind for therapy today, so why don't we end the session now. Next week, please be here on time and straight. We'll talk about this in our next session.
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Ms. Trent:
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Later, Alligator!
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Dr. Balis:
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Take care, Madeline.
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###
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Doctor Balis' Notes on this Session
Transcripts of Madeline Trent's Communications
