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Dr. Balis:
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Hello, Alex.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Hey, dude!
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Dr. Balis:
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Who's that out there?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Oh. That's only Cami. She's going to wait for me out there. Is that okay?
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Dr. Balis:
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Well, yes, it's fine. Why is she with you today?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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It's a long story. We have to get over to the Alliance right after I'm done here--we need to put some finishing touches on the stuff we're painting for the play. She's kind of hooked on my hip lately. She even went to the parade with me last Sunday. Actually, she's turning out to be a real good friend. Really.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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What? What do you mean? Are you implying that I'm boinking her? What? Why do you look at me like that?
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Dr. Balis:
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I'm sorry, Alex. I didn't mean to imply anything. I'm just surprised. You clearly stated your desire to stay away from Cami.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Well, duh! Can't a guy and a girl be friends? What's so wrong with that?
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Dr. Balis:
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Nothing is wrong with that, Alex. I'm concerned that she might be feeling more than just friendship for you. You recently told me that she said she wanted to have a romantic relationship with you. I wonder how she was able to work out those feelings for you to be just a good friend.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Well, I think she has...uh, maybe...I guess...I don't know. Why is that such a big deal?
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Dr. Balis:
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Mainly because if she hasn't worked out these feelings for you and if she is still pining away for you, then she has ulterior motives for being with you.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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We're friends, okay? Just friends. I like her and she likes me. Just because we hug each other and give little peck kisses, doesn't mean we are heading for the bedroom. At least I don't have to hide it from Luke anymore. He seems to understand, surprisingly. With his past--the brain-dead ex-girlfriend--he doesn't have much room to talk. But he saw us working together at the Alliance, and he sort of warmed up to her, too. I told you she's infectious. You'd fall for her, too. And she did the sweetest thing. The other day, I went over to the AIDS Grove in Golden Gate Park, where I buried Darla, and someone had put a small bouquet of flowers right on the spot where I buried her. No one could've known where that spot was exactly except me. Well, I knew it couldn't be Ralph--he's been too sick to do something like that. And I knew it wasn't Tony--he's too stoned. And it couldn't have been Luke--he's too busy working. Well, it was Cami. She followed me the day I buried Darla and decided that flowers would be a good way to honor her or something. I thought it was the sweetest thing, and I told her so. I don't know, Doc, if I wasn't gay and if things were a little different, I might have gone for it with her. But don't worry, I do have my feelings under control here. So don't get your shorts all twisted up, okay?
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Dr. Balis:
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As long as you're comfortable with it.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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There! So we're cool with it? Okay! So anyway, Ralph had his surgery the other day, and it didn't go as planned.
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Dr. Balis:
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What happened?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Well, let me back up a minute. Saturday night, he had to drink this stuff. I don't know what it was called, but it was gross! It made his body cleanse itself--totally bonafide gross-out! He was practically glued to the toilet all night long. And then on Sunday morning, I had just about enough of him and his bodily noises and stuff--I mean, gross! Thankfully, the parade was that day, so I didn't have to sit through any more of that. I got punished, though, for thinking how really gross it was and for showing him my displeasure with it.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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My payback came after the parade. The parade was cool, except for those religious fanatics I love so much. It started with a plane flying over with a banner: "Repent. Jesus loves you." And then I almost got into it again with one of them. This time, this guy had a button that read: "Your condition is curable, ask God." It was something like that. So I went up to him and asked him what the hell that meant. He started to quote to me what that guy in Congress or wherever said--you know the one who said that shit about kleptomaniacs and gays? So he said that if you want to be cured, all you have to do is seek out God. I started to tell him that maybe he could get a cure for that ugly-ass face he had. And Cami got between us and worked her magic on me. She calmed me down and got me away from that dude. Don't those people have anything better to do with their time? You should have seen him! He was so ugly, even a blind and desperate homosexual wouldn't want him! And we can change being gay about as easy as he can change being a butt-ugly bastard. That's what I wanted to tell him. Asking someone who's gay to change would be like asking someone to change their genetics, their eye color, or something like that, don't you think?
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Dr. Balis:
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I agree.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Lucky for me, Cami was the voice of reason there--lucky for that dude, too. "Those who live in glass houses" and all that bullshit...anyway, where were we? Oh yeah, payback.
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Dr. Balis:
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Yes, please tell me what happened.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Yeah, that's right. Oh my, talk about gross! So after the parade, I decided to go see Tony and tell him about the parade and the things we did and saw, stuff like that. I stopped at China Palace to pick up some Chinese take-out and brought it over to Tony's. Don't ever go there for Chinese--it was a big mistake. Tony didn't eat any of the sweet and sour shrimp--I kind of kept it for myself and we're talking a huge mistake! I don't know if it was payback for pointing out to that dude his putrid ugliness, or if it was for complaining about Ralph and all the pretty noises he was making, but I got paid back in spades. It was like monkeys were flying out of my ass! I was praying to the porcelain god, and poor Tony got the pleasure of my presence. Man! It was coming out of both ends. I had to stay the night there at his house, because I couldn't even stand up. It was totally gross!
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Dr. Balis:
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I'm sorry, Alex. It sounds like you had an awful case of food poisoning.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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To put it mildly! So, there I was, lying on the sofa at Tony's, and that girl, Sharon, showed up. Well, I could hear them talking and laughing and shit. And I could smell the smoke. I knew that before long, they would be trying to give each other a tonsillectomy with their tongues. So I tried to get up to leave, but I didn't get far before I had to go back to the porcelain worship hole. So Sharon decided to help me, as if she were my friend or something.
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Dr. Balis:
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What did she do?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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She hobbled over to me--she had an accident or something and now she uses a wheelchair or crutches sometimes--and she sort of hovered and made sure I got back onto the couch. And that was when the idea hit me, and my wheels started to turn.
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Dr. Balis:
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I don't like the sound of this...
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Don't worry, I got paid back for that right away, too. I just sort of accidentally on-purpose let it slip about Tony's HIV status.
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Dr. Balis:
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As sick as you were, you thought of that?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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It really just presented itself to me...on a silver platter, or so I thought. So anyway, how did I put it? I said something like: "Lucky, Tony didn't eat any of the sweet and sour. He's just not up to it like I am, you know?" And do you know what? It didn't even faze the bitch. I know she heard me, and I'm sure she got my meaning. I know she did. But it was like she already knew and was agreeing with me. I don't know, it was weird. Well, her reaction sort of shut me up, it was like maybe I'd said too much already. It was hard to tell what she was thinking. But I got the sense that she already knew Tony's HIV status and what I had sort of mentioned was not important to her. I guess I was expecting the shock to alter her expression, but there was no shock at all. So my plan...
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Dr. Balis:
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Backfired.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Well, the thing is I now wonder if Tony actually lied to me about this. He told me that he hadn't mentioned it to her and that they hadn't talked about it at all. But why would he lie to me about that? What's up with that?
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Dr. Balis:
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Why is it important to you?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Huh? I guess you're right. It really isn't, I guess. Hmm, I just wonder, that's all. What would make him think that he needs to lie to me? Oh well. We were talking about something else before all this about Tony...
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Dr. Balis:
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I think you were telling me about Ralph.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Oh yeah! The surgery thing. Oh man, it's fucked up. I don't know what it all means just yet, but it's not what they expected. So it's bad. They operated on him for like five hours, and it was only supposed to take two or something. They looked around and decided they couldn't get to the area that had the growth. It was something about some scar tissue being in the way. So now it means he has to wait for his stomach to heal up, and then he'll need chemo and radiation treatments. It doesn't sound so good, you know?
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Dr. Balis:
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It does sound serious, Alex. I do wish him the best.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Thanks. Me too. I wish this wasn't happening. It's like he can die from this, and that scares me. We were just getting used to each other and becoming more like friends. But you know what he said to me after he was coming out of the drug-induced haze? He said something like, "Are you going to start doing my dishes in your underwear for me?" I'm like, "Uh huh. Yeah. Right, dude. Anything you say, hmm..."
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Dr. Balis:
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The anesthesia will make you say funny things.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Yeah, right. Funny. I can let it slip for now, but I hope it was only the drugs and not what he really wants me to do. Some people say that the drugs just lift your inhibitions and reveal the true self.
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Dr. Balis:
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It's hard to say, Alex. I would imagine it would affect some people one way, while affecting others differently. It was a strange request.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Maybe. Maybe not. You have to think about where I've been with him.
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Dr. Balis:
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That's true.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Oh well, I can't even think about the possibility of him dying, you know? I just don't want to think about that. He means so much to me, and he has done a lot for me. Shit! I didn't want to get started on this. I just know that he's going to be okay. I just know it, you know?
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Dr. Balis:
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Keep thinking positively, Alex. My best wishes are with him.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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The chemo and radiation are going to be rough, too. It's not going to be easy on him...on us, I guess. Wow! I hadn't even thought of that before. I've got to go. Cami's out there waiting for me, and we have to get over to the Alliance to finish up some things. Thanks for listening to me ramble on today.
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Dr. Balis:
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You didn't ramble, Alex. Take care and I'll see you next week.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Thanks, dude. I...uh, I got to go. Later!
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Dr. Balis:
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Goodbye, Alex.
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###
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Doctor Balis' Notes on this Session
Transcripts of Alex Rozzi's Communications
