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Dr. Balis:
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Good afternoon, Olivia. You look rested.
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Ms. Stillwell:
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Hi there. Yeah, no more circles under my eyes. Well, they're almost all gone, anyway. That Melatonin has been knocking me out night after night. It must be making me sleep really deep, too. I've been dreaming a lot more lately, more than probably ever before in my life!
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Dr. Balis:
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Good dreams or bad dreams?
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Ms. Stillwell:
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I knew you'd ask that! Actually, I can't remember the dreams, I just remember that I had them. I usually wake up with a good feeling, though. If they were bad dreams, I think I'd be able to feel it when I woke up.
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Dr. Balis:
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I'm glad the Melatonin is helping. Have you tried sleeping without using the Melatonin?
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Ms. Stillwell:
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I did last night. It took me a while longer to fall asleep, but I was able to do it and I wasn't up all night. I'm going to keep trying to sleep on my own, but I'll use the Melatonin if I need it. Thanks for telling me about it; it's been great for me.
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Dr. Balis:
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Good. I'm glad it worked for you. Have you given any more thought to getting a restraining order?
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Ms. Stillwell:
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I have. But I just don't know how to go about doing something like that in Denmark.
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Dr. Balis:
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Excuse me? Denmark?
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Ms. Stillwell:
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Okay, okay. Don't look at me like that. I know, I know--I should have mentioned that to begin with but...well, everyone gives me these weird looks when I mention how much of a computer geek I really am. You know, Doc, if your eyebrows go up much further, you'll never have to worry about a receding hairline.
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Dr. Balis:
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Olivia, one thing you should understand is that this is the one place where you won't be judged. I'm not here to decide how you should live your life. I'm here to help you do well with your life and deal with the issues that you face. I am on your side as your advocate to help you understand the various facets of your life. Now to get back to what you were saying: what are you talking about?
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Ms. Stillwell:
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No one really seems to think that online stalking is real. My friends think I should just ignore it. But it's scary and really creepy. Jonas has learned quite a bit about me that I never told him. And the things I have told him, he's used to learn even more. I'm scared of this guy.
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Dr. Balis:
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The tissues are on the table.
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Ms. Stillwell:
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Thank you, Doctor. Look at me--I'm trembling. You know, nothing has ever bugged me like this. But this guy...he just makes me shudder.
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Dr. Balis:
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What things have you told him about yourself that he is using against you now, Olivia?
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Ms. Stillwell:
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I met Jonas online, and we started chatting. We had some similar interests. It seemed that he found me to be completely intriguing. To him everything I said was witty, intelligent, wise, blah, blah, blah. Now that I look back, I can see he was just buttering me up. I'm normally very cautious when I'm online--you never know who is on the other end. I never give out personal info. If he had hounded me for info, I would have clammed up and shut him out. But he didn't. He mentioned once or twice how nice it would be to hear my voice. After I felt like I knew him pretty well and didn't consider him a psycho--boy, was I wrong--I told him he could call me. Since I didn't want him to be able to find out where I live, I gave him my work number. I know I could have called him, but I figured that he could foot the bill a few times first. Just before he started getting all mushy on me, he called and got my voice mail. My message gives my name and the company name. He put two and two together and came up with Daddy-dearest. He asked me about it and was amused at how Daddy's little girl was trying to be so fiercely independent--as he put it--while working for Daddy.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm. So not only does he have your work phone number, but he knows where you work, and he knows that your father owns the company you work for. Do you think he might try to extort money from your father?
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Ms. Stillwell:
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I don't think so. I don't have skeletons in my closet...well, besides this one. And this isn't even a big skeleton. It's just something I'd rather not broadcast.
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Dr. Balis:
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What is it that he feels he can gain by hounding you?
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Ms. Stillwell:
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Me. I guess he thinks I'll see the error of my ways, realize what a wonderful man he is, and go flying into his arms. No need to worry about that, Doc, I can see him for what he really is.
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Dr. Balis:
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And that is?
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Ms. Stillwell:
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He's selfish, insecure, and immature. He's also evil and conniving. He told a friend of mine--an online friend--that he got on a plane and flew all the way to New York before he realized that I would probably have his butt hauled to jail if he came near me. She said he was very depressed and that all he wanted was to be near me. He told her that he didn't care if I didn't love him back, that just being part of my life would be enough for him. On top of everything, he told me that he's married. To be honest, I don't know what to believe. The only thing I've been able to verify about him is that he lives in Denmark and works for a University. He is a professor. I checked with the phone operator to verify the country of the phone number he gave me, and she said that it was Denmark. Then, I checked the Internet to see if the university has an online presence. It does, and it even has a directory of all of their professors. I was able to verify that he does work at the University of Denmark and that he does work in the department he told me.
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Dr. Balis:
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What are you planning to do with this information, Olivia?
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Ms. Stillwell:
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Information is power. It means that I have something to hold over him. I have told him to quit e-mailing me. I contacted my ISP--Internet Service Provider--and told them what was going on. They will put a filter to block his e-mails to me. If he changes his e-mail address, he can still e-mail me, but at least my ISP knows what's going on. Their abuse department takes these things seriously. Since he uses his university e-mail address to e-mail me, I'll contact them as well if I need to. But I'd rather hold onto that ace.
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Dr. Balis:
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What do you mean?
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Ms. Stillwell:
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He loves his job and is hoping to get a tenure. If they find out he's abusing their facilities in this way, I'm sure it wouldn't go over well for him. Doc, I don't want to hurt him. I just want him to leave me alone. I've configured my IRC client so that he is on "ignore" status and can't talk to me. I've blocked him out of e-mailing me. I think things are going to be okay now. But I'm still worried.
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Dr. Balis:
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If you have closed those avenues of communication...
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Ms. Stillwell:
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He still has my work number, so that's a problem. He knows where I work and can probably find my work e-mail address if he's clever enough. He can also call my father directly.
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Dr. Balis:
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Let's look at each of these things objectively. Yes, he has your work phone number. It doesn't seem likely that the whole company will change their phone numbers just to keep this man from calling you. So that's not an option. As for your e-mail address, try to see if they can filter him out there as well--block him before he even has the chance to get through.
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Ms. Stillwell:
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But if I can't stop him from calling me, I can't stop him from calling my father!
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Dr. Balis:
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Correct.
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Ms. Stillwell:
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I just hate feeling like I'm at his mercy.
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Dr. Balis:
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Has he ever threatened to call your father?
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Ms. Stillwell:
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Well, no. So, I guess I'm worrying over nothing. I know this is rather trivial compared to the schizos and people with multiple personality disorders you probably see, Doctor.
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Dr. Balis:
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Thanks a lot, Olivia.
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Ms. Stillwell:
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But this is real to me, and I'm frightened. For once, I'd like someone to take me seriously, you know? I'm sick and tired of being this simple-minded showpiece that performs on command, speaks when spoken to, and wears pretty pink bows in her hair. I'm smart, and intelligent, and I'm independent, damn it! I don't need you to trivialize my life, too!
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Dr. Balis:
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Olivia, please come back in and sit down. I think psychological manipulation and torment is very serious. So let's continue.
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Ms. Stillwell:
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I need to cool down. I don't know if I'll be back or not. It really sucks to be minimized, you know?
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Dr. Balis:
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It sounds like you might have some issues with your fath...
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Ms. Stillwell:
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My life is real and so are the things that happen to me! They might not seem significant enough to warrant media attention, but they are important to me!
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm. Olivia, I respect your desire to let your temper cool before continuing with our conversation. But I would like to work through this with you and not let this go until our next session. So please sit down. I apologize if I gave you the impression that your situation is insignificant. I do want to help you work through this, Olivia. Let's give it a chance.
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Ms. Stillwell:
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I'm sorry for screaming at you like that, Doctor Balis. But I'd just like to go home now, if you don't mind. What a scene I've made here. Please, I just want to get out and clear my head. I'll be back next week, and we can talk then, Doc.
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Dr. Balis:
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I understand. But I'll be out of town for the next few weeks.
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Ms. Stillwell:
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Then I'll call.
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Dr. Balis:
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All right. Please call me if you need to. Our next session will be Monday, January 26th at 4 pm. And I can always be reached in an emergency. Also, a doctor will be covering for me while I'm out of town.
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Ms. Stillwell:
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Thanks, Doc. Again, I'm sorry for being so crazy a second ago. I usually don't lose control like that. I'll see you later.
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Dr. Balis:
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Goodbye, Olivia.
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###
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Doctor Balis' Notes on this Session
Transcripts of Olivia Stillwell's Communications
