| |
|
|
Ms. Bows:
|
|
Hello Doctor. Please sit down.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Hello Sylvia.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Bows:
|
|
I'm very sorry about last time.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
You were tired; I understand. It gave me a chance to meet Tom.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Bows:
|
|
I heard a little about that.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Anything you'd like to share?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Bows:
|
|
Actually I was hoping you'd fill me in. Tom just told me that he said hello to you and apologized for my absence. I have a feeling there was more than Tom was willing to tell me.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
It was a fairly short conversation.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Bows:
|
|
Doctor, I know you and I know Tom. This was your first chance to meet Tom in person. I'm sure you took advantage of it. And since Tom wasn't willing even to answer questions like: "Did you like Doctor Balis?" I assume that your conversation was rather interesting. So please Doctor, this is really important to me.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Tom expressed a lot of frustration and hostility toward me. I told him it was unfortunate that he felt that way since we both have a common goal.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Bows:
|
|
What's that?
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
We both want you to have a successful pregnancy and come out on the other side with two beautiful children and a sound mind.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Bows:
|
|
I have to say that I've been thinking a lot about Tom and what he's done for me and I'm beginning to believe that that's his goal as well. Just a month ago, I wouldn't have believed that Tom had any good intentions towards me, but lately...well, it's amazing how things can change in just a few days.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
How do you feel about Tom?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Bows:
|
|
I'm very grateful to him for what he's doing. I've been living day-to-day, hour-by-hour. It's hard not to do that in my situation. And I find myself forgetting how I got here in the first place. I'm forgetting the rage I felt toward Tom for what he did to me.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
He is not responsible for your early labor, or your weak cervix, or your bedrest...
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Bows:
|
|
For that matter, he is not responsible for my pregnancy.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
True. So the rage you felt towards him was for almost leaving you childless. It wasn't for your current condition. Now that it is certain that you'll be a mother, that old rage no longer has the fire to keep going.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Bows:
|
|
I guess it's true--it doesn't really matter anymore. I got what I wanted. Or almost.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Just thirteen more weeks to go. You're almost there.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Bows:
|
|
I know. It's unbelievable to me. But I still feel like I'm holding my breath until it's all over.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
That's natural. Even women with perfect pregnancies feel that way sometimes. But you never finished telling me about how you feel about Tom. The rage is gone. But what's left?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Bows:
|
|
I'm not sure. I need time to find out. Did Tom say anything about how he felt?
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
He is still feeling a lot of anger.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Bows:
|
|
That's what I thought. We never really talk about anything other than the immediate situation. I'm not sure if it's fear or if we are just concentrating on the problems at hand.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Are you afraid of talking to Tom about your relationship?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Bows:
|
|
If I was Tom, I would never forgive me for what I've done. But on the other hand, I don't think that I will ever be able to forgive him either.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Even after the boys are born?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Bows:
|
|
I don't know. Maybe it would just stop being important. But that's just my side. For Tom--he would have to spend the rest of his life supporting these children knowing that...I'm not sure he would be able to look at them and not think about what I've done.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
At some point you will have to discuss some of these issues with Tom.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Bows:
|
|
I realize that Doctor. But I don't feel pressed to do it right now. Tom is willing to put all legal actions off for the next thirteen weeks.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
That's very nice of him.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Bows:
|
|
I'm not sure it's that, or that until these children are born and their medical situation is fully established, there is really nothing concrete to fight about.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Oh, I don't think that's right. There is still the ultimate issue of custody and there is no legal reason why Tom should wait to decide it. I think Tom is genuinely trying to make things easier on you right now.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Bows:
|
|
If he didn't and something happened to the kids because I was too upset, how would he be able to live with himself?
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
While that might be a factor in his decision to put things off, I'm sure it's not the only thing that motivates him. I think Tom really cares about you.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Bows:
|
|
Let's not talk about it right now, okay Doctor?
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Sure, we have time.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Bows:
|
|
Actually, I'm really tired now. Do you think we can call this a short session?
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Of course Sylvia. I'll see you next week at this same time, okay?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Bows:
|
|
That'd be great. I'm sorry to crap out on you.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Nonsense. It's important for you to rest too. Goodbye Sylvia.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Bows:
|
|
Goodbye Doctor. Thanks for being understanding.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
No problem. I'll see myself out.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Bows:
|
|
No kidding.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
###
|
|
Doctor Balis' Notes on this Session
Transcripts of Sylvia Bows' Therapy Sessions
