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Ms. Bows:
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Hello, Doctor. It's always a pleasure.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hello, Sylvia. And how are you?
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Ms. Bows:
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I'm very well, thank you.
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Dr. Balis:
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Shall we talk about your week?
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Ms. Bows:
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Sure, but my week was hectic as usual. The best thing that happened this week was the arrival of my nephew, Robert.
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Dr. Balis:
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How is Robert?
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Ms. Bows:
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Oh, he's great, thank you. He is all grown-up. He's looking forward to becoming a teenager. He brought us some wine from my uncle's vineyard. The wine is about two years old now and it is the first batch that Robert made himself. He's very proud. He kept talking about it. He really is a good boy.
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Dr. Balis:
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Is he starting school here?
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Ms. Bows:
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Yes. Rene has decided to stay in San Francisco awhile. I'm not sure whether it will be forever, but she's giving it a go.
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Dr. Balis:
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Does school start soon?
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Ms. Bows:
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I'm not sure. I think he starts eighth grade in a week or two. I hope Robert likes his new school. Robert grew up in New York in the same neighborhood since he was a baby. Now he has to find all new friends...it's just going to be hard for him for a while.
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Dr. Balis:
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I'm sure he'll be fine.
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Ms. Bows:
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I know. But I guess I'm just a worried aunt. I'm thinking about taking him to SII on a tour and maybe trying to arrange some part-time job for him. It would be fun to have him around. He always lived so far away from me that I never got a chance to really get as involved as I would have liked. But now...I'm just really looking forward to spending time with Robert and getting to know him better.
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Dr. Balis:
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I didn't realize you were so attached to your nephew.
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Ms. Bows:
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Oh, more then that. I think he is one of the reasons I changed my mind about having children. I kept listening to stories that Rene would tell me about him and...well there was a lot of stuff. But the most pronounced impression that I got from Rene was the feeling of being needed, of being essential to someone's very life, of being loved so completely and without reservations, and of loving someone back with such intensity. I think these feelings are so primal, carefully developed over millenniums of evolution. I think the only way for a human being to experience these feelings is to have a child. I don't know if the emotions are the same in men. So a man's reaction could be completely different. But for a woman...I'm not sure I am making a lot of sense. These are all the things that I feel and they are not really verbal. This is what I mean when I say that I think this is all so instinctual.
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Dr. Balis:
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I think I understand.
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Ms. Bows:
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Yes, I thought you would. I watched Rene go through the experience of getting pregnant and having a child and I've seen him grow up. In any case, I'm very happy he's here.
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Dr. Balis:
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How have you been feeling this last week? You haven't mentioned eating and sleeping problems in a while. I assumed you were doing better in that regard.
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Ms. Bows:
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Yes. I think I'm stabilizing. I think Zolax changed some of my eating habits. I tend to eat more frequently but smaller amounts. And I might require more sleep lately. But these are all things that I could live with.
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Dr. Balis:
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Good.
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Ms. Bows:
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And as I mentioned before, I think Zolax also allows me to take things more in stride.
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Dr. Balis:
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How do you mean?
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Ms. Bows:
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Well, for example I had this incident at work. I think before I would have reacted quite badly. But now...well let's just say I feel more in control of my situation and myself. For example, last week I had another run in with Brenda Wolfe, Chief of Security at SII.
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Dr. Balis:
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What happened?
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Ms. Bows:
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About a month ago, I looked something up in SII's computer files. No big deal. No files were changed or erased. I just needed some information. Brenda confronted me with breaking into a restricted database. I don't know how she found out it was me or how she knew the files were accessed, for that matter. I told her at the time to just relax and let go of the whole thing. No harm was done. I thought the matter was settled. Then, last week I get this memo, that she apparently sent out to the whole SII management, about the security issues and break ins. She's going on about industrial espionage and theft. This just made me furious. She knew I did it. I didn't deny it. What an idiot! I told her it was none of her business and she should just forget about it. But I guess some people just need to feel powerful in what ever inconsequential ways they can. And this way she can look really important. But what I'm trying to say is that I think before I would have felt really anxious and upset about this whole thing. Now, it's like a mosquito bite. I can feel it but it's not such a big deal.
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Dr. Balis:
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I got a letter from Ms. Wolfe, too.
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Ms. Bows:
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Oh?
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Dr. Balis:
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It specifically mentioned that the break in occurred in the medical records of SII personnel. In particular, the files were searched for AIDs and HIV related information.
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Ms. Bows:
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Well, you were wondering why I wasn't worried about AIDs.
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Dr. Balis:
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So you searched all of SII files to get the names of HIV infected...
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Ms. Bows:
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I wasn't going to risk my life, Doctor. I want to have some sexual freedom but I'm not willing to die for it. Is that wrong?
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Dr. Balis:
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This sentiment is not wrong. But don't you think searching through everybody's personal records was an invasion of their privacy? How would you feel if this was done to you?
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Ms. Bows:
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I guess I wouldn't have been too thrilled. But I didn't mean any harm. And the men on my list are receiving a certain benefit that they all seem very happy about.
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Dr. Balis:
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So you have a list of men, cleared of HIV, with whom you're planning to initiate sexual contact?
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Ms. Bows:
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Doctor, you are making me sound really bad. I have never had sex with anyone that I later regretted. I like all my men. I find them smart and stimulating and sexy. I am not just sleeping with them because they are healthy. I just don't want to get into a sexual relationship which can put me in jeopardy. That seems reasonable, doesn't it?
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Dr. Balis:
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So all the men you have slept with so far have been on this list?
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Ms. Bows:
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Yes, although the first time I had sex with Richard I didn't know his medical history. That scared me, so the following day I did some research in the company files. You know that there is this push for early HIV detection and everyone in SII is strongly encouraged to take the test, so it was really easy to find out who was okay and who...actually I'm happy to say there were very few who did not qualify, so to speak.
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Dr. Balis:
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So what is your plan?
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Ms. Bows:
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What do you mean?
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Dr. Balis:
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Are you planning to go through your whole SII list?
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Ms. Bows:
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Doctor! I'm just being careful, that's all.
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Dr. Balis:
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But so far you had Richard, David, Hal, and a whole bunch of others. I can't even remember their names now, there were so many.
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Ms. Bows:
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They were all wonderful men, Doctor.
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Dr. Balis:
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So you are saying you do not have a plan?
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Ms. Bows:
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What kind of a plan?
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Dr. Balis:
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I don't know. A plan to have sex with all the eligible SII men.
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Ms. Bows:
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Doctor, don't be silly! I just had sex with a few men that I found attractive. Attractive both spiritually and physically. Trust me, I have no intention to to do the rounds, so to speak. I'm just trying things out. Really, Doctor, relax. I'm not a crazed drug-induced nymphomaniac.
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Dr. Balis:
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I'm glad to hear that. But you do make me wonder, Sylvia. I understand the need for experimentation, but I'm worried when the behavior of my patient goes so far from the norm, after taking a drug I prescribed. And by the norm I mean the your normal behavior patterns, not something imposed on women generally--that argument just doesn't fly. I really think we should reconsider Zolax.
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Ms. Bows:
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Doctor, please...
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Dr. Balis:
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I would feel better if I knew for a fact that I'm not witnessing a Zolax side effect. There are other serotonin reuptake inhibitors we could try, so that you could keep the positive benefits of the drug.
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Ms. Bows:
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Doctor, I'm sure that the drug isn't causing my behavior. I don't know how to prove it to you beyond what I've already explained. But I know what I'm doing. I also know that what I'm doing could be perceived the wrong way. But please, give me time to show you that you're wrong about the Zolax. I know myself and I'm very sure of my intentions. Please, I need time.
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Dr. Balis:
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How many affairs did you have last week?
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Ms. Bows:
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Two. But it was with the same two man as before--Richard and Bruce.
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Dr. Balis:
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Do they know about each other?
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Ms. Bows:
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I'm not sure. I never thought about it. We never talk about this. I don't think it's that important.
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Dr. Balis:
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You don't think they might have developed some expectations from your relationship?
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Ms. Bows:
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I don't know. I hope not. I think we all know that we're doing this for fun. I'm a married woman, for God's sake.
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Dr. Balis:
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Yes, but you made it clear to them that isn't an issue. I would assume that they think that you are either separated or getting a divorce.
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Ms. Bows:
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I might have led them to believe this. But not intentionally. As I said before, I'm not ready to divorce Tom just yet. Again, I feel that I need time to sort things out.
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Dr. Balis:
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Okay, Sylvia. Now our time is up for today. Shall we meet the same time next week?
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Ms. Bows:
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I'd like that. Doctor, please think well of me. I have my reasons and I would like to discuss them with you some time in the future. But, for now, just give me some time. It's really important to me. Okay?
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Dr. Balis:
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I'll see you next week, Sylvia. That's August 27th at 4 pm. Please take care of yourself.
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Ms. Bows:
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I will, Doctor. Thank you.
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Dr. Balis:
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Goodbye, Sylvia.
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Ms. Bows:
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Goodbye, Doctor.
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###
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Doctor Balis' Notes on this Session
Transcripts of Sylvia Bows' Therapy Sessions
