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Ms. Evans:
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Hi, Doctor. I'm on time for this visit.
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Dr. Balis:
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Yes, I noticed; even a little early. Do you tend to have
trouble keeping appointments?
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Ms. Evans:
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No. I tend to be an early bird of sorts. I mean,
I like to be prepared for things. I guess I am a little neurotic
that way. Sorry I was late last time. I was just...I guess, nervous about
coming here.
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Dr. Balis:
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As I said last time, hopefully you will become more comfortable
with the therapy process as time goes on. Of course, therapy is very personal.
It may be that I am not the right person for you to be talking to.
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Ms. Evans:
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I think it was just my own preconceptions of what therapy
is, like I am a loony or something.
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Dr. Balis:
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You seem a little more at ease, though, and that's good.
Why don't you tell me how your week was?
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Ms. Evans:
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It was okay, I suppose. Just same old, same old. I
am a little more frustrated with the people at SII. They treat me like such
a flake sometimes. And it is just so unfair! I work just as hard as
the next guy. I have a college diploma that I worked hard for. Just because
I'm pursuing an acting career, doesn't mean I didn't study other things.
I have a freakin' minor in business technology operations, for heaven's
sakes! I know more about what's going on in there than most of them do.
Just 'cause I am a pretty face doesn't mean I don't have a brain, too.
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Dr. Balis:
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What is it that they do that upsets you?
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Ms. Evans:
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They piss me off! I am so fed up with everyone's
crap! My family is giving me shit on the "not settling into a respectable
career" line, Brian is bitching out of both sides of his mouth, my
employers don't give me the respect I deserve. What the heck does everyone
want from me? Sheesh!
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Dr. Balis:
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Why don't you take a deep breath, and we can work one
at a time on these pressures and annoyances, okay?
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Ms. Evans:
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Yes. I suppose you are right.
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Dr. Balis:
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Okay, let's tackle one problem at a time. Have you spoken
to anyone at work regarding your treatment there?
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Ms. Evans:
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No. I don't know what to say, who to say it to, even.
They are my superiors, so they can do whatever they want, and I just
have to take it.
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Dr. Balis:
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Don't you think it would be perfectly acceptable for you
to air you feelings? Perhaps they don't realize how valuable you are to
the company, or don't realize they are upsetting you.
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Ms. Evans:
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I guess I could talk to my immediate supervisor, see what
she says. I am not just a glorified secretary, I really do much more there.
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Dr. Balis:
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I am sure. And that is the type of thing you should discuss
with your supervisor.
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Ms. Evans:
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I guess so.
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Dr. Balis:
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You seem reluctant.
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Ms. Evans:
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I need the job. I need it to survive, make rent, pay
for the groceries. I don't have the time or energy to go out and find another
job. And I don't think I could handle the waitressing deal. I'd be too exhausted
to pursue my acting, and perform in Winging It.
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Dr. Balis:
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Well, ultimately it's your decision. Perhaps in your journal...you
are still keeping one, yes? Perhaps you can make a list of pros and cons
for making such a move. For instance, not saying anything means you must
learn to cope with how you are treated there. Saying something may put your
job in some jeopardy. Do you see what I am getting at here?
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Ms. Evans:
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Yes, it's a good idea.
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Dr. Balis:
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You can bring in the listing if you would like. We can
even do a role play exercise if you'd like.
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Ms. Evans:
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You know, I never thought of it that way. I can create
a character and use it as a shield. Of course, that can backfire, but
it would take the pressure off of me, either way. I don't know. I think
I will start with a list of pro and cons.
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Dr. Balis:
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Okay. Now, about Brian. You mentioned last time that he
can be demanding, and tends to get his way. Would you care to elaborate?
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Ms. Evans:
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Brian was my first real boyfriend. He was pretty
supportive of me during college. Things seemed simpler back then. He now
works for an accounting company. I don't know, it almost seems as if
he lost his imagination and creativity. He is so into preparing for the
future, buying into the corporate image.
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Dr. Balis:
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Has this affected your relationship, do you think?
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Ms. Evans:
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I don't know. In acting classes, I once played a woman
who went for 'father-image' type of boyfriends. I thought to myself, I never
want to be like that. I think people should be together because they truly
love each other and enjoy their company. And even though I would go to Brian
for advice during school, I didn't think I was dependent on him or anything.
And I made my own decisions. Now he gets all pissy when I don't do what
he wants. And to avoid any arguments and stuff, I tend to just go
along with what he wants. I mean, if it means we don't have to fight,
what difference does it make if we have Chinese instead of Italian for dinner?
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Dr. Balis:
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Do you feel you are losing any integrity at all when you
go along with his wishes?
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Ms. Evans:
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Hmm. I don't think I ever thought about it that way. I
really don't think it has anything to do about my integrity, actually. Like,
he wants to advance our physical relationship, and I won't let him.
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Dr. Balis:
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You did mention last time that he can be demanding romantically.
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Ms. Evans:
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Okay, I guess I might as well tell you. I mean, this is
all confidential and stuff. I read up on doctor-patient relationships.
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Dr. Balis:
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Of course. What you tell me is between you and I only.
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Ms. Evans:
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Well, I am a virgin. Nothing to be ashamed of, right?
I don't think I can commit to him my entire body and soul if he can't commit
to me entirely. A couple of months ago, he got kind of aggressive when
we were making out. Made me very uncomfortable. Then carried on when
I pulled away. He said I was abnormal. Okay, I admit, it may be rare for
someone 24 to still be a virgin, but that doesn't mean I am abnormal. He
said that he couldn't understand how I can make out "hot and heavy"
on stage with people I hardly know, but won't get more intimate with him.
Like I owe him something. And the thing is, had he not made such a big deal,
and let me warm up to the idea, I probably would have given in. I
mean, I am very curious. About sex. This girl in my class, Erica, she said
she was up for a role in a big movie, it was for a prostitute. So she slept
with some guy to see what is was like and to get into character. I don't
think I would go that far, but to be a good actress, I do need to experience
things. But I wouldn't do it just to do it, like Erica did.
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Dr. Balis:
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How do you really feel about Brian? Are you physically
attracted to him?
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Ms. Evans:
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Do you mean do I think he's sexy? I guess so. I mean...he
is very attractive. I don't know. I think maybe I am not very happy with
him recently. I guess that affects my physical feelings towards him. What
do you think, doctor?
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Dr. Balis:
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It can and probably does affect how you feel about him.
Besides Brian, have you dated much?
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Ms. Evans:
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I dated very casually in high school, then met Brian almost
right away in college. Since then, I have pretty much been with him.
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Dr. Balis:
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And he with you?
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Ms. Evans:
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Yes, I think so. Why would you ask?
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Dr. Balis:
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Has he been faithful during the entire time?
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Ms. Evans:
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He better have been! I'd chop his nuts off if I found
out he was sleeping around while trying to get me into bed!
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Dr. Balis:
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Do you really think you would react so violently?
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Ms. Evans:
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No, I'd probably just cry for days.
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Dr. Balis:
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Getting back to your feelings toward Brian, do you see yourself
having sex with him in the future?
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Ms. Evans:
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I'm not sure I can answer that.
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Dr. Balis:
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Do you have sexual fantasies?
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Ms. Evans:
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I really don't think I can discuss this right now. I think
I would prefer writing it down then talking about it face to face. You know,
it isn't prudishness actually. To be quite frank, I could talk with
you explicitly about sex and doing it--make you blush, probably. But I'd
be doing it as a character and not really me. Is there some way we can
do this in writing?
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmmm. I am glad you acknowledge that inherent risk of
hiding behind the theatrical mask. Well, why don't you try to write something
and leave it for me here at my office before our next session. Then I can
have a look at it and we can take it from there. Does that work for you?
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Ms. Evans:
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I think that's an excellent idea.
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Dr. Balis:
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Our time is almost up. I've scheduled an appointment for
you next week at this time. Let's see, that's August 6th at 1 pm.
And if you need to talk to me before that time, always feel free to give
me a call.
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Ms. Evans:
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Thank you, doctor. And thank you for being understanding
and patient with me.
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Dr. Balis:
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Of course, Cassie. And I want you to think about ways
to improve the situation at work, okay?
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Ms. Evans:
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Yes. Goodbye.
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Dr. Balis:
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Goodbye.
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###
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Doctor Balis' Notes on this Session
Transcripts of Cassandra Evans' Therapy Sessions
