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Ms. Green:
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Hello Doctor. It is very nice to see you. I have been thinking
about you a lot this week.
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Dr. Balis:
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Oh? It's nice to see you too, Anna.
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Ms. Green:
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Yes, after our conversation last week, I was walking home and
realized that you are the only men who really knows me. You know me as
a person and you know my most intimate secrets. I even tell you about things
I wouldn't talk to Caren about.
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Dr. Balis:
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The relationship between a patient and a therapist is very intimate.
The revelations made during our therapy session hopefully help you learn
more about yourself.
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Ms. Green:
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I know. But there is more. I think if you were somebody else
I wouldn't be as open.
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Dr. Balis:
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I'm glad our sessions work for you, Anna.
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Ms. Green:
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Yes, I really look forward to them. I sometimes even play out
our sessions in my head.
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Dr. Balis:
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The sessions we had?
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Ms. Green:
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Sometimes. But sometimes they are new sessions--things we didn't
talk about or how our conversation would have changed if I said something
different. Stuff like that.
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Dr. Balis:
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Do you have these virtual therapy sessions often?
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Ms. Green:
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I don't know. A couple of times a week maybe. Last week, though,
I thought about you a lot so it might have been more than that.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm.
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Ms. Green:
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It was exciting telling you about my fantasy. It felt very emotional.
Even a bit physical. How does it make you feel when patients tell you
about sexual fantasies and dreams? Do you think about afterwards? A little
maybe?
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Dr. Balis:
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It's my job to listen to my patients. I also think about therapy
sessions. It helps me understand my patients better so I could be more
effective.
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Ms. Green:
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That's nice Doctor. But I don't mean professionally. I mean
do you get affected by what you hear? Do you sometimes dream about your
patients? Or think of them as a man and not as a doctor?
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Dr. Balis:
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But I am a Doctor, Anna.
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Ms. Green:
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And a very good one. But I know that when people dream, we are
not always in control of our thoughts. Isn't that true, Doctor?
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Dr. Balis:
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Yes.
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Ms. Green:
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So do you remember dreams about your patients?
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Dr. Balis:
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Sometimes. Not always. Many dreams are just never recalled
in a wakeful state. That's just the way human brain works. Sometimes a
dream can leave an emotional print and when a person wakes up he or she
could feel sad or happy as a result of a dream. But the content of the
dream that changed a person's mood might be completely lost to consciousness.
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Ms. Green:
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I've had dreams like that. I would wake up shivering but I wouldn't
remember why. I don't like that. I really make an effort to recall my
dreams.
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Dr. Balis:
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Are you successful?
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Ms. Green:
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Not always. But a lot of times. I've even had dreams that I
like a lot and then try to continue them the following night. Sort of like
a movie. I've had some dreams that lasted about a week. I've liked them
so much I couldn't wait to go to bed. Does this happen to you?
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Dr. Balis:
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I've had dreams like that a few times. Would you like to tell
me about your movie-dreams?
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Ms. Green:
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Sure. When I was about thirteen I had this really long dream.
It lasted forever. And every evening I would call my girl friend and tell
her about it. She really liked the story and she said that it was almost
like having a novel read to her.
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Dr. Balis:
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Probably telling the dream to your friend reinforced it in your
memory.
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Ms. Green:
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Yes. I thought so too.
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Dr. Balis:
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So can you tell me about this dream?
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Ms. Green:
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It was really bizarre and I'm not sure I remember all of it.
I just have some details left.
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Dr. Balis:
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That's okay.
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Ms. Green:
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I was this pilot on a patrolling mission on Earth. I had a third
of the globe as my responsibility. Europe was part of my territory as was
part of Africa and Antarctica. There were two other patrol ships and they
all had one person in it.
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Dr. Balis:
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Why were you patrolling the Earth?
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Ms. Green:
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Oh, I was part of this alien race that discovered Earth some
centuries ago and decided to keep an eye on it until Earthlings were ready
for contact. I was only thirteen.
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Dr. Balis:
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So you were an alien?
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Ms. Green:
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Yes.
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Dr. Balis:
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Were you a female or it didn't matter?
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Ms. Green:
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I was a female. The other two pilots were male. I think one
was named Auet and I don't remember the other one's name.
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Dr. Balis:
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That's okay. Please go on.
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Ms. Green:
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Well, it's really silly, now that I remember it. But I would
fly over the Earth and it would be so pretty.
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Dr. Balis:
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Did you ever make a landing?
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Ms. Green:
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I would only be allowed to land in deserted places so no one
on Earth would know about us. So I would tend to land next to waterfalls
and on ice glaciers. The kind of places you would only dream about--spectacularly
gorgeous, totally secluded, and only accessible by an alien patrol ship.
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Dr. Balis:
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So this aircraft was very small?
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Ms. Green:
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Pretty small. With room enough for one but very crammed if there
were two.
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Dr. Balis:
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Did you ever pick up passengers?
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Ms. Green:
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That was forbidden.
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Dr. Balis:
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By whom?
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Ms. Green:
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By my superior officers, I guess. I never thought about it.
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Dr. Balis:
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So the patrol was military?
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Ms. Green:
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I don't think so. It just was. Some parts of the story just
never really needed to be defined that finely.
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Dr. Balis:
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Sorry. I was just trying to understand.
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Ms. Green:
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No problem. It's a rather complicated dream.
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Dr. Balis:
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So you would just fly over the Earth. Did anything else ever
happen?
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Ms. Green:
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Oh sure. I crashed once.
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Dr. Balis:
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Where?
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Ms. Green:
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In France. In Paris to be precise.
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Dr. Balis:
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Did anyone notice?
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Ms. Green:
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I was knocked unconscious during the crash and a weird underground
group rescued me. I was carried by this giant man through the Paris catacombs.
I remember the dark tunnels and funny smelling water which was running
through bottom of most of them.
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Dr. Balis:
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You actually remember the smell?
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Ms. Green:
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Yes. And the sound of trickling water and footsteps going through
water. It was very vivid. There was also a feeling of excitement and fear.
And I remember my whole body reacting to being held by this man. The tunnels
were cold but his arms and chest were warm. I liked being held like that.
It felt like he was very strong and could carry me forever if he had to.
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Dr. Balis:
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Do you know what he looked like?
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Ms. Green:
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No, it was too dark. I remember waking up in his arms and trying
to understand what happened. His voice was very calm and deep and it made
me relax even though I didn't understand what he said. I understood that
he was trying to help me. This part of the dream I had again and again.
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Dr. Balis:
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The man carrying you?
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Ms. Green:
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Yes. Somehow re-remembering the feeling of being held by him
made me feel good. For month after this dream was over, I would try to
think about as I would fall asleep.
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Dr. Balis:
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Did you ever get out of the tunnels?
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Ms. Green:
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I must have. But what attracted me most to the dream was the
tunnels. They were endless. Sometimes there would be just a pin prick
of light from far away. And everyone would tense up, not wanting to be
discovered. But for the most part it was just sounds and smells.
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Dr. Balis:
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There were a lot of people in the tunnels?
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Ms. Green:
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There were several people but I never knew the exact number.
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Dr. Balis:
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Were they all men?
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Ms. Green:
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I don't remember. There wasn't much conversation. We didn't
want to be discovered. I also remember the man's heartbeat. I could feel
it through my clothing against my chest. Sometimes it almost felt like
our hearts were synchronized, beating at the same time. He felt so strong,
like he could carry me forever.
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Dr. Balis:
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Yes, you said that.
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Ms. Green:
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There was a very strong sense of power about this man.
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Dr. Balis:
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Did you ever think who this man might be?
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Ms. Green:
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You mean in real life?
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Dr. Balis:
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Yes. Is there a parallel figure in the real world for you?
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Ms. Green:
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I don't think so. But the funny part is that years later I went
to see Les Miserables in New York with my parents. And I realized that
the man was Jean Valjean.
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Dr. Balis:
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Yes. Now I remember. There was a section in the book where
Jean carries his daughter's fiancé through the Paris catacombs. Interesting.
So you think your dream is partly based on Victor Hugo's novel?
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Ms. Green:
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I read it a few years before I had the dream and must have completely
forgotten about it. I didn't recollect anything about it until I saw the
Broadway version and then I immediately realized that it was part of my
dream. I'd even forgotten the dream by then--I was much older. But as
I was sitting in the audience, the flood of memories just hit me. I remembered
all the smells and sounds. It actually felt very strange sitting in the
dark next to my parents and thinking about him.
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Dr. Balis:
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Do you think there was sexual content in that dream?
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Ms. Green:
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Maybe. It did give me pleasure even though not in the same way
as an explicitly sexual fantasy would.
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Dr. Balis:
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Well we are out of time for today. Maybe we can come back to
this next time?
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Ms. Green:
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You know, Doctor, you never told me about your dreams.
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Dr. Balis:
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Same time next week?
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Ms. Green:
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I'll look forward to it, Doctor. Maybe I'll have a dream about
you and tell you about it.
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Dr. Balis:
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Goodbye Anna. September 26th at 4 pm?
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Ms. Green:
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Goodbye Doctor. That'll be fine. Pleasant dreams.
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###
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Doctor Balis' Notes on this Session
Transcripts of Anna Green's Communications
