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Dr. Balis:
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Hi Sarah. It's good to see you.
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Ms. Wright:
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Hi Doc. It's good to be seen. I'm sorry about canceling our appointment last week.
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Dr. Balis:
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It's okay. Was there anything wrong?
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Ms. Wright:
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Five people, the flu, one bathroom.
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Dr. Balis:
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I see. I hope everyone is better now.
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Ms. Wright:
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Most everyone. Melissa is still home sick. School started last week. She went two days and has been in bed since.
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Dr. Balis:
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Have you taken her to the doctor?
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Ms. Wright:
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I called the doctor's office and they told me it sounded like what everyone else had. They called in a prescription for her, so hopefully she'll be back on her feet soon.
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Dr. Balis:
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And what about you? How are you doing?
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Ms. Wright:
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Other than still being kind of weak and run down, I'm doing okay I guess. I think I'm about to go through one of my down periods, though. Not something to look forward to.
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Dr. Balis:
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How long has it been since your last down period, Sarah?
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Ms. Wright:
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Two maybe three months. It's hard to remember sometimes.
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Dr. Balis:
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When you have these episodes, do you find that the Xanax helps?
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Ms. Wright:
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Not much. Maybe a little. It's just so difficult to tell. I wish I could be more specific.
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Dr. Balis:
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I would like to try an anti-depressant with you Sarah, if you're agreeable.
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Ms. Wright:
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You think I'm depressed? No, I don't think so Doc. Depression is for people who live in sanitariums with padded walls.
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Dr. Balis:
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Sarah, you're stereotyping. Being depressed doesn't mean that you're insane.
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Ms. Wright:
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Then what does it mean?
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Dr. Balis:
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In your case, I suspect it's a chemical depression. Think of the spark plugs in a car. If they're all gummed up, they don't spark as they should. You can think of your brain working in a similar way. Your brain needs certain chemicals, they're called neuro transmitters, to help it regulate emotions, including anxiety and contentment. If the levels are low, those sparks don't fire properly in your brain. That, in turn, causes many of the symptoms that you've talked about before.
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Ms. Wright:
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Which symptoms?
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Dr. Balis:
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Well, without looking at your entire transcript, I'd say...
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Ms. Wright:
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Being afraid in crowds? Noise levels seeming very high? Sitting on the floor crying? Not being able to complete a sentence? Are these the symptoms you're talking about??
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Dr. Balis:
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Yes, exactly. Zoloft has shown to be a great help in treating patients with those types of symptoms. I had a talk with your cardiologist and he doesn't seem to think that it presents a problem.
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Ms. Wright:
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Well....I'm not crazy about having to take more pills, but if you think it may work, I'll give it a try.
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Dr. Balis:
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Good. It may take a few weeks, but I think you'll see a great improvement in your emotional well-being.
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Ms. Wright:
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That would be wonderful, but I'm not going to hold my breath.
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Dr. Balis:
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Let's just give it a try. If it doesn't work, no harm done, right?
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Ms. Wright:
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Okay, you're the doctor. Let's talk about something else, okay?
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Dr. Balis:
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Sure. What would you like to talk about?
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Ms. Wright:
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I told you that I gave my resignation at work. My last day was supposed to be December 31st.
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Dr. Balis:
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Supposed to be? You mean you're still working?
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Ms. Wright:
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Yes. They haven't found anyone to replace me yet, and I don't feel right about just walking out. They've had several ads in the paper but no one seems to fit the qualifications. I told them I'd stay until the end of the month, after that they're on their own. I suppose they'll have to go to temp service.
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Dr. Balis:
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Are you still comfortable with your decision to quit your job?
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Ms. Wright:
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Oh yes. In fact, I'm looking forward to it. I'm hoping that once I'm home all day, Robby and I can...
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Dr. Balis:
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Yes?
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Ms. Wright:
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Talk. Restore part of our relationship before he goes. I still have so many unresolved feelings towards him. Love, hate, anger. I'd hate for him to die without being able to work some of that out.
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Dr. Balis:
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How is Robby's health these days?
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Ms. Wright:
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He still has mostly good days, but the bad ones really put him down. I try not to think too much about the reason behind it, you know? I try not to think AIDS everytime he coughs or sneezes. I've noticed though that he's starting to lose weight. He's already slim. I imagine by the end, there won't be anything left but skin and bones.
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Dr. Balis:
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Yes, depending on quickly the disease progresses. As your psychiatrist, my primary concern is about you and how well you will be able to handle his death and dying.
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Ms. Wright:
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I try not to think about it. I mean, I'm not putting blinders on--I know he's dying, but I've accepted that. It just makes me sad.
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Dr. Balis:
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Yes, it is a very sad situation. How is Robby's and Jeff's relationship these days?
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Ms. Wright:
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Well, sometimes I think Jeff makes up excuses not to spend time with Robby.
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Dr. Balis:
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Really? I would like Jeff would want to spend as much time as possible with his dying lover.
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Ms. Wright:
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Yeah, you'd think so wouldn't you? I haven't figured it out yet, but I have a feeling now that Robby is safely tucked away and being taken care of, Jeff's feelings for Robby have waned somewhat.
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Dr. Balis:
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You suspect Jeff isn't in love with Robby any longer?
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Ms. Wright:
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Well, I don't know about that. There's something odd there, I just can't put my finger on what it is. When Robby first moved in, Jeff spent nearly every minute he was home with Robby in his apartment. He wanted to take Robby with him on business trips, that sort of thing. Now Jeff hardly sees Robby. He'll call him, ask if he needs anything, they'll chat for a while, but that's it.
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Dr. Balis:
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It does sound strange, considering Jeff begged you to let him move in.
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Ms. Wright:
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Yes, well time will tell, I suppose.
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Dr. Balis:
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You're probably right. Do you mind talking about Glen today?
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Ms. Wright:
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Glen? Sure, what do you want to know?
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Dr. Balis:
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Have you played The Game with him recently?
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Ms. Wright:
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No, we haven't had a chance. He was working the day shift last week, then I got sick, so we haven't spoken in a while. Lisa said that he's anxious to get together again, though. I think she's more anxious than he is! It still just blows me away to think that Lisa gets off by hearing about Glen having sex with other women. All this time I've known her, she's never mentioned a word about it!
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Dr. Balis:
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Sometimes you can know a person your whole life and still never know everything about that person. Most people have a certain mask they wear for others. Perhaps Lisa thought you would think less of her if she told you about her fetish.
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Ms. Wright:
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Yes, we talked a little about that. She said she didn't want me to lose respect for her. I said, "Shit, Lisa, if you knew about some of my fantasies, yours would seem tame!"
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Dr. Balis:
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So you still believe you can continue The Game with Glen and Lisa and not become emotionally involved?
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Ms. Wright:
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No problem. I mean Glen's a wonderful guy, but he's not...everything. I'm sure the novelty will fade, and both of us will laugh about it when it's over. No one gets hurt. That's the best part.
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Dr. Balis:
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I hope you're right. Looks like our time is up for today. I'm going to discontinue the Ativan and I'm going to write you a prescription for the Zoloft. Try it for a few weeks and see how you feel. If you have any problems, just give me a call.
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Ms. Wright:
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Okay, I'll give it a try. Can we meet the same time next week?
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Dr. Balis:
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That'll be fine. Let's see, that's Monday, January 20th.
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Ms. Wright:
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Great. I'll see you next week. Goodbye Doc. B.
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Dr. Balis:
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Goodbye Sarah.
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###
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Doctor Balis' Notes on this Session
Transcripts of Sarah Wright's Communications
