Saturday, February 20, 1999
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Sunday, February 21, 1999
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Monday, February 22, 1999
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Tuesday, February 23, 1999
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Wednesday, February 24, 1999
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5 pm. Seventy-Fifth Session with Alex Rozzi. It was like Alex was breathless throughout this whole session. He spoke rapidly, especially when he spoke about Luke. And he constantly interrupted any comment I might make. In a family meeting that included Rosemarie, Larraine, and Mark, together with Racyl, Rhea, Ethan, Aaron, and Alex, Alex was told that Ethan is his half brother--they're just two months apart in age. Mark impregnated Rosemarie at the same time as he was living with Alex's mother, which could help to explain the tension that exists between the two women. Since Rosemarie and Larraine are cousins, that means that Ethan is Alex's half brother and second cousin simultaneously. Alex said that he feels that he's appearing on an episode of the Jerry Springer program. Alex said that he feels his father is a slut for having six children by three different women. I counted five children, but Alex told me that one died at four years of age in an automobile accident in Canada. This was about four years ago. Mark was driving and he was completely uninjured. The automobile accident probably precipitated Mark's breakup with his wife in Canada and is the underlying cause of Mark's reunion with Alex's mother. Alex has a new sense of sibling rivalry with Ethan. Alex is old enough to recognize and analyze this novel feeling of vying for Mark's attention, even though he's still swept up by it. Alex is jealous and said that he wants to be Mark's most important son. Alex is obviously making some progress in being able to view himself from a detached perspective--he said that he'd like to write a book someday about the drama of his life. He even told me that he's been writing a journal, of which I was unaware. We talked about Ralph beginning chemotherapy, which Alex views as a hopeful sign--it's a step above Hospice care. Finally, Alex told me that Luke didn't contact him for Valentine's Day, and that when he called Luke's apartment, he spoke to an unknown man--probably the one with the towel--who told Alex that Luke was in New York. Alex describes it as a definitive end to his relationship with Luke, but it clearly isn't.
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Thursday, February 25, 1999
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4 pm. One Hundred and First Session with Anna Green. Anna seemed a bit testy during today's session. Martin has a new hobby: a fashion designer for S&M fashions. Anna, evidently Martin's favorite mannequin, has agreed to be his model at some S&M fashion event. But there wasn't a lot of time to prepare, so Anna went with Martin to hobby and leather shops to buy the materials needed to produce the garments. That raised Trevors' jealousy. Anna feels that it is unreasonable for Trevor to be jealous of Martin because they aren't doing anything inappropriate. She also objects to the apparent double standard, as Trevor goes home to have sex with his wife. Trevor has forbidden Anna to speak about this issue--he says that it just makes it more painful for him. He also has some mysterious reason why he's delaying his promised separation from his wife, and tells Anna that she has to wait a few more months. Anna is jealous, although she's repressed it. She feels guilty at feeling jealous--after all, that's the deal one makes when having an affair with someone who's married. But Trevor is extremely closed-mouthed about the circumstances of his family life. Anna doesn't even know if he has kids. She's rifled his pockets and looked through his wallet without discovering any evidence of kids, if they exist. Anna wasn't interested on my advice about her affair with a married man--she cut me off several times when she thought I was going in that direction. I think Anna's strategy is fundamentally one of denial--to try not to think about it too much.
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Friday, February 26, 1999
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Charles Balis' Personal Diary & Log