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Ms. Green:
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Hello, Doctor Balis.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hello, Anna. How are you? How's Kathy?
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Ms. Green:
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I'm fine. Thank you for asking.
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Dr. Balis:
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And Kathy?
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Ms. Green:
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She got the stomach flu.
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Dr. Balis:
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I'm sorry to hear that. I guess she's still staying with you?
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Ms. Green:
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It's more like lying there in a lump.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm. And how was apartment hunting last weekend?
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Ms. Green:
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I don't like the way you asked that.
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Dr. Balis:
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Sorry about that.
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Ms. Green:
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Kathy was too sick to go. And frankly, I wasn't feeling up to it either.
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Dr. Balis:
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I thought this stomach thing was only supposed to last twelve hours?
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Ms. Green:
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Well, it didn't. I really came down with it on Friday. I got all the symptoms.
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Dr. Balis:
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I'm sorry to hear that.
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Ms. Green:
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Yes, well...
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Dr. Balis:
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And Kathy?
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Ms. Green:
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She did a good job of taking care of me. I had to stay home, of course.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm.
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Ms. Green:
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And I did feel better by Saturday, but I was definitely in no shape to do something assertive.
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Dr. Balis:
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You mean like telling Kathy to leave?
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Ms. Green:
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No, I meant exertion. You know, going out, looking for a place.
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Dr. Balis:
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You said assertive, which is really more to the point, don't you think?
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Ms. Green:
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Let's not play word games.
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Dr. Balis:
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All right. How's Kathy?
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Ms. Green:
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Her stomach started to hurt on Saturday, but she didn't really get all the symptoms.
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Dr. Balis:
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I see. And is she better now?
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Ms. Green:
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She's okay, just a bit tired perhaps. And I believe her. She has been through a lot, you know.
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Dr. Balis:
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Are you planning on looking for an apartment this weekend?
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Ms. Green:
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Sure. And just because we were home doesn't mean we weren't looking. I surf the web every day. We have a lot of leads.
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Dr. Balis:
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I'm glad you are actively working on finding Kathy a place to live.
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Ms. Green:
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She has been very nice, Doctor. She even offered to pay part of my rent. But since I don't really pay anything but utilities, I thought that would be silly. She's not using up that much electricity. And she needs the money.
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Dr. Balis:
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Is she looking for work?
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Ms. Green:
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We thought it might be a good idea to try to get her old job at the bookstore back.
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Dr. Balis:
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We?
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Ms. Green:
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Kathy thought it was a good idea to try...
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Dr. Balis:
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I'm worried that you might be over attentive to her needs, Anna. Are you really comfortable being in the position of Kathy's benefactor?
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Ms. Green:
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I haven't thought of it that way. But since Martin faded out of view, we seem to get along great. I'm not forgetting what she did to me; I'm just not thinking about it for the moment. And doesn't helping Kathy out now make me a better person?
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Dr. Balis:
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Does it?
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Ms. Green:
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I feel very good...superior about it, somehow. She has nothing: no job, no place to live, no family to turn to. I'm swimming in dough...yes, I did get my bonus and it was very nice, thank you.
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Dr. Balis:
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Congratulations.
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Ms. Green:
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And I have a great place to live. And I have a very good relationship with my family. Except for my love life, I'm "King of the world."
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Dr. Balis:
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Titanic?
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Ms. Green:
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Yes. I loved that movie, cried all three times.
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Dr. Balis:
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You saw it three times?
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Ms. Green:
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I guess that makes me a fan, although not a lunatic. I've heard about this woman in Australia that saw the movie a thousand...
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Dr. Balis:
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We are getting off the subject.
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Ms. Green:
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The last time, I took Kathy to see it. It was her first time. She thought she'd hate it, but she loved it.
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Dr. Balis:
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Good. I would like to talk about your newfound relationship with Kathy. Why do you think you're enjoying her company so much?
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Ms. Green:
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Why not? We have nothing to compete for now.
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Dr. Balis:
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You said that you feel superior to Kathy.
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Ms. Green:
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It's not necessarily superior to Kathy. It's more like I'm in a superior position.
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Dr. Balis:
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Like when you just had Kathy move in with you and Martin?
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Ms. Green:
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I guess I was in a superior position then, too. So what? It didn't work out anyway.
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Dr. Balis:
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But it started to fall apart when Kathy was beginning to get more and more of Martin's attentions. And it really broke down when Kathy got pregnant with Martin's child.
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Ms. Green:
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Are you saying that she was on top then?
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Dr. Balis:
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Don't you think?
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Ms. Green:
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Martin still wanted to marry me. And what about before Martin moved to San Francisco?
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Dr. Balis:
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How did your relationship with Kathy feel then?
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Ms. Green:
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Well, she was the S&M expert. I came to her for advice.
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Dr. Balis:
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But did you feel like Kathy was superior to you in some way?
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Ms. Green:
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She knew more about S&M and her life had this sense of tragedy and mystery somehow. It was a bit seedy.
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Dr. Balis:
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That sounds like you felt you had a better life than she did.
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Ms. Green:
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That's clearly true. I won't deny that. But I'm not sure it was a superior life, just happier and more rewarding.
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Dr. Balis:
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Do you feel Kathy was envious of you?
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Ms. Green:
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Sure. She even said that.
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Dr. Balis:
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What did she say?
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Ms. Green:
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She often said that she wished she had my brains and even my looks, although I think Kathy is very pretty in her own right.
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Dr. Balis:
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Do you think you are smarter?
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Ms. Green:
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I had more opportunities to learn and I've had a better education.
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Dr. Balis:
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Are you smarter? Don't be afraid to admit it, there is nothing wrong with that.
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Ms. Green:
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I guess I am.
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Dr. Balis:
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When Martin was splitting his attentions between you and Kathy, did you feel like you were being compared to her? Unfavorably, maybe?
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Ms. Green:
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I...
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Dr. Balis:
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Did you feel like her being there lowered your sense of self-worth somehow?
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Ms. Green:
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Martin and I were clearly a better match.
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Dr. Balis:
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Why?
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Ms. Green:
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We just were. We both came from good families and had very good educations and great jobs. Doctor, what are trying to make me say? That I'm interested in Kathy because she makes me feel good about myself in some sick and perverted way?
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Dr. Balis:
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You said that you have so much and she has nothing.
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Ms. Green:
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Look, if I wanted to...never mind.
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Dr. Balis:
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What is it?
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Ms. Green:
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I know that Kathy is manipulative and jealous of me. But...
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Dr. Balis:
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You like her attentions?
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Ms. Green:
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It's just for a little bit. I have nothing better to do with my time at the moment. I can help her. I owe her.
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Dr. Balis:
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How so?
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Ms. Green:
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If it wasn't for her, I might have ended up marrying Martin. And now I realize that would have been a terrible mistake. She saved me.
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Dr. Balis:
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Actually, I believe that if weren't for Kathy, you would never even have considered marrying Martin.
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Ms. Green:
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Are you saying I was doing it because I wanted to win?
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Dr. Balis:
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That's a good way of putting it. You didn't want to lose Martin to Kathy. Somehow, it was very important to you that Martin considered you the better of the two.
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Ms. Green:
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You know, I was very proud for being the one to leave Martin.
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Dr. Balis:
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I'm proud of you, too.
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Ms. Green:
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But the way you're putting it, it was still Martin who abandoned me. I don't like that.
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Dr. Balis:
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I know.
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Ms. Green:
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Bill left me.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm.
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Ms. Green:
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Next time, I'll be in control of the relationship.
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Dr. Balis:
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Like you are in control of your relationship with Kathy now?
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Ms. Green:
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I guess. What do you want of me?
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Dr. Balis:
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I just want you to see that your present involvement with Kathy is based on your feelings of insecurity and inadequacy.
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Ms. Green:
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But you just made me admit that I was better than she was?
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Dr. Balis:
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I think you are. But you are using her to prove this to yourself. This is not a healthy thing for either of you. You have to let go, Anna. Move on. You have your own life to lead, she has hers. If it weren't for Martin, do you think you two would have been friends?
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Ms. Green:
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I guess we would have never even met. But I think I benefited from this relationship in some way.
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Dr. Balis:
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How?
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Ms. Green:
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Well, I...in some sick way, I'm a lot more popular at work.
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Dr. Balis:
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And do you like that?
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Ms. Green:
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I guess. They might not really be true, but the rumors of my sex life give me a sense of the exotic, I guess. I'm no longer as nerdy as I was before.
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Dr. Balis:
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Is that the reputation you want?
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Ms. Green:
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It's okay for now. It has its moments. I don't think I lost any of my "goody-two-shoes" mystique. I just gained a little S&M thing on top.
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Dr. Balis:
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I see.
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Ms. Green:
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Look, Doctor, we must be out of time. It just flies when we're having fun, isn't it?
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Dr. Balis:
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All right. It is getting late. I'll see you in a week. And please think about what we talked about today. I don't want you to get stuck in a relationship you don't really want.
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Ms. Green:
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I won't. It's just for bit. I'll find her a place to live by next time, I promise.
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Dr. Balis:
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Good.
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Ms. Green:
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Goodbye, Doctor Balis.
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Dr. Balis:
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Goodbye, Anna.
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###
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Doctor Balis' Notes on this Session
Transcripts of Anna Green's Communications
