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Dr. Balis:
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Hello, Anna. Please come in. Is there something wrong?
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Ms. Green:
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No, it's all right. I just have very bad cramps.
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Dr. Balis:
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Did you take anything for pain?
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Ms. Green:
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Sure. Motrin--don't leave home without it!
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Dr. Balis:
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Are you up to having a session?
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Ms. Green:
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Yeah, I will be. Just let me get comfortable. In about ten minutes, the Motrin should kick in.
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Dr. Balis:
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All right, whenever you are ready.
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Ms. Green:
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I'm ready, just ignore the grimaces of pain.
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Dr. Balis:
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I'll try.
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Ms. Green:
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Okay. I'll start with a biggie.
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Dr. Balis:
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Kathy has moved out?
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Ms. Green:
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Well...
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Dr. Balis:
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Don't tell me she is still living with you. You promised me last time that...
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Ms. Green:
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I know, I know. It will happen, Doctor. I'm not dragging my feet. It's just very hard to find a place to live in San Francisco right now, especially on a very tight budget.
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Dr. Balis:
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Did Kathy get a job?
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Ms. Green:
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Doctor, we are getting off the subject.
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Dr. Balis:
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Are we?
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Ms. Green:
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Yes. I told you I have a biggie for you today.
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Dr. Balis:
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All right, what is it?
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Ms. Green:
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It wasn't Martin's.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm?
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Ms. Green:
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The baby, it wasn't Martin's.
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Dr. Balis:
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Kathy got pregnant by someone other than Martin? How did you find that out?
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Ms. Green:
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One night, we just sort of got to talking about all of that, and I asked her why she did it--why she got an abortion.
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Dr. Balis:
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And she just came out and told you?
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Ms. Green:
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More or less. We've been talking for a while; I guess she felt safe enough to tell me.
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Dr. Balis:
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Okay. Well, whose was it?
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Ms. Green:
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I'm not sure exactly. I know it's someone from the community.
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Dr. Balis:
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From your S&M club?
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Ms. Green:
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Yes. Kathy said that she's been playing with this guy for a long time, years maybe. But after we all got together last summer, she felt it wouldn't be right to actually have sex with him any more, and so they restricted their playing to just...you know.
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Dr. Balis:
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I understand. So Kathy didn't want to cheat on you and Martin, but she still felt comfortable enough to do the...
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Ms. Green:
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She said that as long as there wasn't any penetration, she felt it was okay.
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Dr. Balis:
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It's an interesting take on monogamy, or polygamy, actually.
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Ms. Green:
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I don't particularly subscribe to it, but that sort of thinking is common. Most even find that it's okay to go further than that, with permission from everyone concerned of course.
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Dr. Balis:
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Of course.
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Ms. Green:
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I told Martin that I didn't like that. We never really played with anyone but each other and Kathy.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm.
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Ms. Green:
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Well, there were a few times, but...never mind. It's not important now. In any case, I've never felt that Kathy should be obliged to do the same. I've always thought of her as sort of one nudge outside of our relationship. I didn't want her to get AIDS, but other than that, she was free to pursue other interests.
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Dr. Balis:
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I see. And did Martin feel the same way?
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Ms. Green:
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I assume so.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm.
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Ms. Green:
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So Kathy continued her relationship with this guy, even though she was involved with us.
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Dr. Balis:
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What was her relationship with this guy? Was she the top?
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Ms. Green:
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No. Kathy said that this guy is very powerful. He is always in control, and it's very hard to say no to him. Kathy said that sometimes she didn't feel like she could have ended the relationship even if she wanted to.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm. And you don't know who this guy is, right?
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Ms. Green:
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No, I told you I don't. Kathy said I've never met him. So this one night, around Thanksgiving...do you remember how ugly it was then?
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Dr. Balis:
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I do. You wanted Martin to go to your parents' house, and Kathy wanted him to stay home with her. I remember. But Kathy won, didn't she? Martin stayed with her instead of going with you.
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Ms. Green:
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Yes, well. Kathy said that she was feeling very vulnerable then. A few days after Thanksgiving when Martin and I worked late, she went down to the club and this guy was there. He took her to his place, and she said that they had a very intense session. But afterwards, he wouldn't let her leave. She said that she kept saying that she needed to go and was tired, but he kept pressing her. She said that she couldn't say no to him. He fucked her in the face. Kathy said it was completely terrifying, but at the same time, she said that she lost all control. She said that she kept having one orgasm after another. Finally, he just did the other thing, too.
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Dr. Balis:
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They had intercourse?
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Ms. Green:
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Yes. Kathy said that it wasn't her idea. It just happened. She said that she has been trying to avoid him ever since.
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Dr. Balis:
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I see. So Kathy thought that the baby was his?
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Ms. Green:
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She said that at first, it didn't even occur to her. But the dates matched. She said that she went on this campaign to fuck Martin as often as she could, which didn't improve our relations any.
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Dr. Balis:
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No, it wouldn't have.
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Ms. Green:
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Kathy said that she kept hoping that the baby was Martin's. Finally, she asked for the amino test. She found out Martin's blood type, and checked with the clinic if there was a chance that the baby was his. I guess there wasn't. She told us that the baby tested positive for Down's syndrome.
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Dr. Balis:
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I see.
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Ms. Green:
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She continued to pretend the baby was Martin's. She didn't know what else to do. She said that she felt completely freaked. And at that point, neither Martin nor I wanted to have anything to do with her. She finally decided to just get rid of it.
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Dr. Balis:
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I assume that Martin thought the baby was his, and he probably wouldn't have checked on the baby's blood type. So why didn't Kathy just go on and...
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Ms. Green:
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I asked the same thing. But she said that we would have been able to tell--the father was a black man. It would have been obvious that the baby wasn't Martin's after birth.
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Dr. Balis:
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I see. So she had the abortion pretending that the baby had Down's syndrome.
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Ms. Green:
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Right, and it would have worked, too, if Martin didn't look into her file.
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Dr. Balis:
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That's quite a story.
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Ms. Green:
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Yeah. I can't even be mad at her now.
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Dr. Balis:
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Why not?
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Ms. Green:
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She must have been so out of it. Can you imagine what it must have been like for her? I shudder just to think.
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Dr. Balis:
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So Martin knows nothing of this? He is still mad at Kathy for getting rid of his baby?
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Ms. Green:
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He knows nothing. I won't tell, why should I?
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Dr. Balis:
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Did this slave master know about Kathy's pregnancy?
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Ms. Green:
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I don't know. I don't think so.
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Dr. Balis:
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You said that Kathy was showing quite a bit at the end, and she was having public performances while pregnant of skin mutilations.
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Ms. Green:
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Branding.
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Dr. Balis:
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And he still didn't know?
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Ms. Green:
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I guess not. Kathy said that she didn't see him since that night. Isn't this horrible?
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Dr. Balis:
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It's not good.
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Ms. Green:
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Kathy said that she still feels the guilt and remorse over the baby's death.
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Dr. Balis:
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Yes, you told me about her nightmares.
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Ms. Green:
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She screams every night. But there wasn't much else she could do.
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Dr. Balis:
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She could have told you and Martin the truth.
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Ms. Green:
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Yeah. She got raped--it was rape, you do realize that? I told Kathy that, too. But then what?
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Dr. Balis:
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How would you have felt about her and the pregnancy if you had known all the facts?
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Ms. Green:
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I guess I would have been a lot less threatened by her.
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Dr. Balis:
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Would you have helped her?
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Ms. Green:
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Probably.
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Dr. Balis:
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And Martin?
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Ms. Green:
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He would have probably went and gotten himself killed trying to avenge Kathy.
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Dr. Balis:
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I see. But he wouldn't have thrown her out on the street, right?
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Ms. Green:
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No, of course not. It wasn't her fault.
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Dr. Balis:
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So she should have told you the truth.
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Ms. Green:
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Yeah. I think she knows that now. But then, it was very difficult to see things clearly.
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Dr. Balis:
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All right. Our time is just about up. Are you still planning on having Kathy move out soon?
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Ms. Green:
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As soon as we find her a place to live.
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Dr. Balis:
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Good. The sooner, the better.
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Ms. Green:
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I know. I'll see you next week, Doctor Balis.
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Dr. Balis:
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Good. I'll see you then. Goodbye, Anna.
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Ms. Green:
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Goodbye, Doctor.
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###
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Doctor Balis' Notes on this Session
Transcripts of Anna Green's Communications
