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Ms. Green:
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Hello, Doctor Balis.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hello, Anna. How was your week?
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Ms. Green:
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What you really mean, Doctor, is how's Martin?
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Dr. Balis:
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Okay. How's Martin?
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Ms. Green:
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He's been just wonderful. Just so that you don't freak out on me, we didn't have sex and we're not planning on having sex in the near future.
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Dr. Balis:
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But you're talking about it?
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Ms. Green:
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True. We do talk about it. But that's a good thing, no? If we didn't talk about it, you would worry that I'm developing false expectations again.
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Dr. Balis:
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Are you?
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Ms. Green:
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No, I don't think so. I realize that his tastes in sex deviate somewhat from the norm. But that's no longer scares me.
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Dr. Balis:
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I see. Have you talked about how you're going to reconcile your sexual differences when it comes time to having sex?
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Ms. Green:
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We're working on that. But it's just talk for now, nothing else. I'm really having a good time when I'm in Martin's company. We talk a lot--about everything, not just sex. We watch movies together. It seems that we have similar tastes in movies. Martin doesn't even mind watching obvious girl movies. You know, like "My Friend's Wedding?" I think he really nurtures his feminine side, unlike other men who work very hard to repress it. It's been good. This last week, I mean. Except for Caren and Greg...and Kathy...and a few other people who are just over the top with their protective shit.
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Dr. Balis:
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What do you mean?
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Ms. Green:
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Caren is all freaked that I'm hanging out with a "certified pervert." Greg is just dying to go and beat Martin's brains out. And Kathy...well, she's been very strange lately.
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Dr. Balis:
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What's wrong with Kathy?
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Ms. Green:
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She's been so moody. I was telling her about Martin, and she got all upset and even cried and then walked out on me.
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Dr. Balis:
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What did you say to her?
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Ms. Green:
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I just told her that I decided to give Martin another chance. I said that I had a long talk with him, during which we settled some of the misunderstandings between us. But Kathy--she just didn't want to hear anything positive about Martin. I thought she'd be happy for me. She--and of course you, Doctor Balis--are the only people who know most of the details...of me and Martin and our relationship, I mean. She knows that I really cared about him.
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Dr. Balis:
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So you believe that Kathy's reaction to the news of you and Martin getting back together was irrational?
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Ms. Green:
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Definitely. I was hoping to introduce Kathy to Martin. I thought that they have a lot in common and...but that's apparently totally out of the question. And I don't know why.
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Dr. Balis:
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Kathy doesn't want to meet Martin?
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Ms. Green:
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When I suggested that we have dinner together, she stormed out of the room crying.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm.
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Ms. Green:
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And she also has been accusing me of not spending any time with her. But she knows that I have a lot of catching up to do with Martin. And it's not like I'm forgetting about her. I want her to be with me. But for the time being, it would have to be with Martin as well. It shouldn't be a big deal. I understand why Caren and Greg are freaked out. They are totally straight and very conservative. They'll never understand Martin. But Kathy? She's even part of the community. She doesn't have problems with people who are into S&M or who have other alternative sex preferences and desires.
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Dr. Balis:
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Before Martin came along, how much time were you spending with Kathy?
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Ms. Green:
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I'm not sure. We talked on the phone a few times a day. I guess we saw each other maybe five...six times a week? Something like that.
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Dr. Balis:
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And now?
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Ms. Green:
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I still talk to her every day. But since she refuses to be in Martin's company, I haven't really seen her for any length of time in over a week or so. I guess she's feeling abandoned. But it's not like that, Doctor. I still like her. I just need to spend some time with Martin right now.
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Dr. Balis:
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Do you know if Kathy ever had a homosexual relationship?
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Ms. Green:
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You mean like with a woman? Well, homosexual relationship is a little strong. I'm sure she has played with women sexually. But that's not uncommon in the S&M community. There are lots of times when two women play together. But that doesn't mean that they're homosexuals. Why?
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Dr. Balis:
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I've thought it possible for a while now that Kathy might have a crush on you. What do you think?
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Ms. Green:
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You mean that she's interested in me sexually? We're just good friends, Doctor. Why would you think that?
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Dr. Balis:
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Well, there have been a series of incidents between you and her that seem to indicate that.
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Ms. Green:
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Like what?
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Dr. Balis:
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Well, masturbating while being in the same bed with you, comes to mind.
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Ms. Green:
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That was a bit strange. But we'd been talking about sex and...you know how stuff like that can just happen.
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Dr. Balis:
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No, actually I don't. I can't recall an incident where I was in bed with a guy and we were telling sexually explicit dreams to each other and masturbating. It doesn't just happen.
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Ms. Green:
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It's different with men. Women share more.
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Dr. Balis:
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So this has happened to you with someone else? Did you and Caren ever do this?
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Ms. Green:
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No. But Kathy's different.
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Dr. Balis:
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I think so, too. I think Kathy is interested in being a lot more than just a friend to you. And I think she's jealous of all the attention you've been lavishing on Martin. I think she's jealous of Martin.
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Ms. Green:
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Hmm.
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Dr. Balis:
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That would explain her recent behavior, don't you think?
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Ms. Green:
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I guess so. I never thought of Kathy that way. She's always been just a very close and dear friend. You really think she likes me like that?
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Dr. Balis:
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I do.
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Ms. Green:
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Hmm. Interesting.
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Dr. Balis:
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Perhaps you should talk with her about this.
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Ms. Green:
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So Kathy likes me in that way? You know, Doctor, I've never had a woman be interested in me sexually. I know I've told you about Caren and I, but that was...well, you know.
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Dr. Balis:
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I know.
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Ms. Green:
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Kathy's a very special person and I don't want to hurt her feelings.
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Dr. Balis:
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That's why you need to talk to her and explain how you feel--tell her that while you find her attentions flattering, you just can't reciprocate in the way she wants you to.
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Ms. Green:
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No, I can't. I wonder what Martin will say when I tell him about this?
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Dr. Balis:
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I believe it would be best if you had this conversation with Kathy in private.
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Ms. Green:
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Oh, of course. I wouldn't dream of embarrassing her like that.
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Dr. Balis:
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Good.
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Ms. Green:
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That does explain a lot. I wonder why that didn't occur to me before?
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Dr. Balis:
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Sometimes it helps to have an outside perspective to notice certain things.
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Ms. Green:
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Yeah. Oh, Doctor?
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Dr. Balis:
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What?
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Ms. Green:
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I need to cancel our appointment for next week.
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Dr. Balis:
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No problem. That's the day before the Fourth of July. Starting your holiday weekend early?
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Ms. Green:
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You can say that. I'm going to my parents' for the weekend.
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Dr. Balis:
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That's nice.
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Ms. Green:
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And Martin is invited.
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Dr. Balis:
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Oh?
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Ms. Green:
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It's the first time I'm going to bring home a man that I'm dating. My parents are kind of excited.
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Dr. Balis:
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So they know about Martin?
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Ms. Green:
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I just told them a little. But I think my dad and Martin will really get along well. My dad likes that Martin has a doctorate degree and is very intelligent. And my mom will get a kick out of Martin volunteering to do the dishes--I told him he must.
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Dr. Balis:
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I see. Aren't you worried that your parents might get a wrong idea about Martin?
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Ms. Green:
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What do you mean?
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Dr. Balis:
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Well, if you've never brought home a man you've been dating before, doing it now may make Martin more significant in your parents' minds than you intend. Don't you think?
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Ms. Green:
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Oh that. I told my mom not to get any ideas--I'm not planning on getting married in the near future. Although, Martin will be my date to Caren's and Greg's wedding.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm. I thought Greg wanted to pound him into the ground.
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Ms. Green:
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Oh Doctor, relax. Have a wonderful Fourth of July weekend. And I'll see you the following week with all the dirty details.
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Dr. Balis:
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Okay. I'll see you then, Anna. Have a good visit with you parents. And good luck with Kathy.
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Ms. Green:
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Thank you. Goodbye.
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Dr. Balis:
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Goodbye, Anna.
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###
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Doctor Balis' Notes on this Session
Transcripts of Anna Green's Communications
