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Ms. Green:
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Oh hello, Doctor.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hello, Anna. God, you look terrible! And what is that...
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Ms. Green:
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I didn't sleep. It's all such a mess. Life is such a mess. Thank you for seeing me.
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Dr. Balis:
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I came as soon as I...
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Ms. Green:
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They kept asking me if I could just talk to you...
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Dr. Balis:
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The answering service?
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Ms. Green:
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But I just couldn't. I couldn't talk at home, and at the office...
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Dr. Balis:
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That's all right. I don't mind meeting you in person. Why don't we actually go into my office? How long have you been waiting for me here? It's really cold out.
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Ms. Green:
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I don't know. I don't remember.
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Dr. Balis:
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I see.
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Ms. Green:
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I walked around the neighborhood for a while. But then I didn't want to miss you. And the front door was locked.
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Dr. Balis:
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I'm sorry. I think I have a blanket somewhere. Here. Let's try to get you warm.
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Ms. Green:
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Thank you, Doctor.
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Dr. Balis:
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Would you like something to drink? I could make you some hot tea.
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Ms. Green:
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That sounds nice, but I think if I put something in my mouth, I'll vomit.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm.
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Ms. Green:
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It was so awful, Doctor. You can't imagine just how bad it was.
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Dr. Balis:
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Are you talking about your parents' visit?
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Ms. Green:
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That and just the whole damn thing.
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Dr. Balis:
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Do you think you can talk about what happened?
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Ms. Green:
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I'll try. I feel like my mind is spinning. And I've been talking to you for the last sixteen hours straight. I feel like I'll be repeating myself.
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Dr. Balis:
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In your head? So this has something to do with your Christmas dinner last night.
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Ms. Green:
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Her timing was just perfect! I wonder if she got one of those kits to time it just right, you know?
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Dr. Balis:
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What kits?
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Ms. Green:
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Those ovulation things--they tell you when you're most fertile.
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Dr. Balis:
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Are you saying that Kathy is...
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Ms. Green:
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Pregnant!
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Dr. Balis:
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God...
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Ms. Green:
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That bitch! She did this on purpose. She knew that this was it for her, and she got herself pregnant.
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Dr. Balis:
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I presume it's Martin's.
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Ms. Green:
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And that bastard knew about it, too.
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Dr. Balis:
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Really?
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Ms. Green:
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She said that they were keeping it a secret until after the New Year, but she was just too happy about it not to tell the world--me and my family, that is.
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Dr. Balis:
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So Kathy made an announcement during Christmas Dinner?
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Ms. Green:
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She took one of the old bows from the Christmas presents we'd just opened and stuck it on her stomach--"I have another present, everyone!"
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm.
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Ms. Green:
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My parents just died; they got it right away. But I was just too stupid. I was looking at her like she was mad. But then I looked up and saw Martin's face. I knew then. He tried to come and hold me, but my dad pushed him to the floor. And then everyone was screaming. I just stood there looking at them all. She kept on wailing, "My baby, my baby." My dad was screaming at Martin. My mom called her a "fucking whore." My mom never uses language like that.
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Dr. Balis:
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I'm sorry, Anna.
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Ms. Green:
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Then I felt like my knees were about to collapse. They felt like they were made out of cotton. I grabbed onto the table and tried to get out of there. But I could hardly walk. Then my mom grabbed me and said that they were taking me home. But I was home. This was my home. This is not her home. It's mine! Suddenly, I just freaked out and told everyone to just shut up. I'd had enough. I wanted them all gone.
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Dr. Balis:
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What happened then?
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Ms. Green:
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She was just wailing at the top of her lungs, and then she threw up. It smelled so bad, I was going to throw up, too. I felt like I was suffocating. I needed to get out of there. I couldn't really feel my legs, but suddenly I just started running. I grabbed my jacket and I was out of there.
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Dr. Balis:
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Did they try to follow you?
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Ms. Green:
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I heard them screaming and running down the stairs after me. But I was just flying. I don't even think my feet touched the stairs. It was as if I was falling, but I knew that I wasn't going to get hurt.
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Dr. Balis:
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What about the bruise on your forehead?
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Ms. Green:
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Really? I didn't know it was there.
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Dr. Balis:
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It's pretty bad. Here, look in the mirror.
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Ms. Green:
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Wow, it is pretty bad. No wonder people were shunning me as I was walking around.
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Dr. Balis:
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I'll take you to the emergency room after we're done.
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Ms. Green:
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It's not really necessary, do you think?
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Dr. Balis:
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I think we should check for a concussion, although I think you're lucid enough.
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Ms. Green:
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Great, that's all I need--a head injury.
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Dr. Balis:
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Do you have a headache?
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Ms. Green:
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Yes, but I think it's from crying so much.
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Dr. Balis:
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Can you put your hand where it hurts? Okay. So when did you leave your apartment?
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Ms. Green:
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It must have been around ten or so last night.
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Dr. Balis:
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Where did you spend the night?
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Ms. Green:
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I went to a park for a while. I even hoped that...no, you'll freak.
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Dr. Balis:
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What were you hoping for?
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Ms. Green:
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Please don't take it the wrong way, Doctor.
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Dr. Balis:
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I'll try not to.
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Ms. Green:
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I was hoping to get murdered or something...see? You did take it the wrong way.
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Dr. Balis:
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Did you want to die?
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Ms. Green:
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I guess...I don't know. I just felt...I can't really describe it.
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Dr. Balis:
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Just try to talk, even if just in phrases.
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Ms. Green:
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I was so hurt. And I was angry. I was furious. He knew! He knew the entire time we were making plans to get married.
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Dr. Balis:
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Are you sure about that?
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Ms. Green:
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"We just want to wait until after the New Year to tell everyone." Doesn't that sound familiar to you, Doctor?
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm.
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Ms. Green:
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That's what Martin told me: "Let's wait until after the New Year to tell everyone. Holidays are difficult times for people, Kathy might not bear the news well." But what about me? Me! Why me? Why? I know he loves me, Doctor. So why?
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Dr. Balis:
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It might not have been his choice. What type of contraceptive was Kathy using?
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Ms. Green:
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I think she had an IUD. I guess if she took it out, we wouldn't have known about it.
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Dr. Balis:
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Did Martin try to talk to you?
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Ms. Green:
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I told you what happened--they were all just screaming. I don't remember what they were saying. I could hear the blood rushing to my head. There was pounding in my ears. I was dizzy. And then I was on the stairs. And then...I don't really remember much until I was sitting on the park benching thinking about the murder: "A twenty seven year old white female programmer was found brutally murdered in..."
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Dr. Balis:
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You were thinking about your obituary?
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Ms. Green:
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That would be a hell of a way to find out that I'm dead, wouldn't it?
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Dr. Balis:
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So you wanted to hurt them by dying?
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Ms. Green:
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It's just as if I was watching a movie, and it was starring me and my life. "She died young, but her life was full..."
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Dr. Balis:
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Do you still feel this way?
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Ms. Green:
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Do you mean do I still want to be murdered?
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Dr. Balis:
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Do you?
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Ms. Green:
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No, of course not. But last night, I walked on red lights, hoping...
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Dr. Balis:
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Anna...
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Ms. Green:
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I don't mean to scare you. It's a sick form of revenge. And you're right.
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Dr. Balis:
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What do you mean?
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Ms. Green:
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Martin might not have known that she was trying to get pregnant. She's like poison. She got into our lives through a small crack and then went in straight for the kill.
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Dr. Balis:
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I would like to take you the hospital right now, Anna. Then, I would like to talk to you about what you're going to do next.
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Ms. Green:
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I think I know what I'm going to do.
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Dr. Balis:
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What?
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Ms. Green:
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I'm going to go home.
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Dr. Balis:
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Really?
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Ms. Green:
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It's my home and I'm going to fight for it. And I think I want to talk to Martin. Alone.
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Dr. Balis:
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I think talking to Martin is a good idea.
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Ms. Green:
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I need to know just what his plans are now. Is it going to be me or her? And then I want her out of my home, preferably by tonight.
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Dr. Balis:
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I see. Look, let's go to the hospital. You can decide what you're going to do from there.
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Ms. Green:
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I feel really sleepy, Doctor. Suddenly, I just don't feel like I can stay awake.
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Dr. Balis:
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We'll take a cab. It's just five minutes from here. Let's go.
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Ms. Green:
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I'm really tired, Doctor.
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Dr. Balis:
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That's okay. You can close your eyes in the cab.
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Ms. Green:
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Thank you, Doctor.
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###
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Doctor Balis' Notes on this Session
Transcripts of Anna Green's Communications
