Transcript of 39th Session between Charles Balis, M.D. and Ms. Katherine Lippard, Wednesday, March 25, 1998 at 4:00 pm.
Ms. Lippard: Hello, Doctor Balis.
Dr. Balis: Hello, Katherine. How have you been this week?
Ms. Lippard: Good. I think my mood improves with the weather.
Dr. Balis: That's not uncommon.
Ms. Lippard: No, I guess not.
Dr. Balis: What's on your mind?
Ms. Lippard: Did you hear about that shooting in Arkansas yesterday?
Dr. Balis: The school children? Yes, I did.
Ms. Lippard: I heard it on the news yesterday and again this morning. I can't get over it. What a tragedy.
Dr. Balis: I agree. It's very sad.
Ms. Lippard: I've been wondering why it hit so close to home for me. It might be that it happened in a southern state. I hear interviews with the families, and I know those people. I don't actually know them, but I recognize their accents. And I keep coming back to how young they all were. Those kids were eleven and twelve years old, not just the shooters but the victims, too. Eleven is a significant age for me.
Dr. Balis: Yes, certainly.
Ms. Lippard: That's a shitty age for something like that to happen to you, the survivors, I mean. I think of them--how they watched this happen, lost friends, saw them die right in front of their eyes. Of course, there's no good age for something like that to happen.
Dr. Balis: But the fact that they were eleven makes it much more personal for you?
Ms. Lippard: Right. I guess that's not surprising, considering that the most formative event in my life happened at that age.
Dr. Balis: And this is likely to be the most significant event in the survivors' childhoods as well. That gives you a connection to them that you otherwise wouldn't have. And it probably brings you back to when you were eleven.
Ms. Lippard: Of course it does. But that's been on my mind lately, anyway. And we'll get to that in a minute, I promise. How about that teacher?
Dr. Balis: I heard that she got killed shielding one of her students.
Ms. Lippard: I'd have done it. I'm sure of it, no doubt about it. I never would have even hesitated. I've been thinking about the people I know--who would have done that and who wouldn't.
Dr. Balis: Oh?
Ms. Lippard: You would. Phil would, without thinking. I'm sure Daddy would. Frank, Mama, Joey, they would. I don't know about Rachel; she'd probably swoon like a properly delicate Southern Rose and be no help to anyone.
Dr. Balis: Hmm. I haven't heard you mention Jake.
Ms. Lippard: Jake would, but he'd be too busy trying to subdue the shooters. Mister Danger would be charging the woods, trying to be a hero by stopping the kids with guns, and no doubt get himself killed in the effort. But that's just as noble as shielding a little girl. More so, probably--he would have been trying to save the whole group.
Dr. Balis: How do you feel about that?
Ms. Lippard: That would be fine with me. I can respect that. I even think I'd be proud of him.
Dr. Balis: Hmm. And how are things going with Jake?
Ms. Lippard: Getting better. Rather, getting back to normal. We've pretty much settled our differences. He brought over a little hors d'oeuvres plate along with champagne and strawberries, and we made love in the gentlest, sweetest way we'd ever done. Then he pissed me off again.
Dr. Balis: What happened?
Ms. Lippard: The Jackass wrecked his motorcycle. The police called me at work and scared me half to death. I spent all afternoon in the emergency room with him, just to find out he's the luckiest man alive. He hit the intersection too hard in the middle of one of the steeper hills, lost control, and went skidding halfway down the rest of the hill on his back. He was wearing a leather jacket, and it destroyed the jacket and didn't put a scratch on him. He has some tendon damage in one shoulder--the shoulder probably separated on impact and then slid right back into place. He also has a small bump on his head. But he didn't even get a road rash.
Dr. Balis: That does sound lucky. Jake doesn't wear a helmet, does he?
Ms. Lippard: No. He's lucky his brains aren't scattered all over Union Street.
Dr. Balis: He certainly is.
Ms. Lippard: I don't think I can do this anymore, Doctor Balis. There are some good things about this relationship, and Jake's a nice guy and all, but it's not what I want. There's nothing really wrong with him, not fundamentally. No man's going to be perfect, I know that, and Jake's faults are not insurmountable. But he's not "it." You know?
Dr. Balis: I'm not sure I do. Can you elaborate?
Ms. Lippard: He lacks certain characteristics that I want in a long term partner--like a basic respect for his own life, a broad understanding of culture and how people operate, and--I know this sounds snooty--an advanced education. I want a man for whom I don't have to edit my vocabulary.
Dr. Balis: Hmm.
Ms. Lippard: I don't think that's unreasonable. So I'll have to ruminate on it a bit more, but I think this is it. What do you think?
Dr. Balis: I think this is entirely your decision to make.
Ms. Lippard: Tell me why I should stay with him.
Dr. Balis: Why don't you tell me?
Ms. Lippard: Inertia, mostly. We have a decent thing, I hate to give it up just because it's not all I'd hoped for. I suppose I can keep my eyes open and wait until I find someone more suited to me.
Dr. Balis: Would that be fair to Jake?
Ms. Lippard: No, of course not. I'd just be using him for convenience. I wouldn't feel good about that.
Dr. Balis: Okay. What else?
Ms. Lippard: Loneliness. I feel like I'm better off with half a relationship than none at all. But then I run into the same thing--I'd just be stringing him along. It's really kinder to cut him loose and let him look for someone else, than keep him in a hopeless relationship until I'm ready to leave him for another man. Besides, I can be okay on my own. I'm a strong, independent woman. I've taken care of myself for twenty-two years; I don't need a man to make me complete.
Dr. Balis: Good for you, Katherine. I'm glad I didn't have to point that out.
Ms. Lippard: Yeah, me too. So if it's not happening long-term, I should go ahead and give it up right away. Man! I've never ended such a deep relationship before; they've always left me. This is harder than I thought.
Dr. Balis: It always is. Despite your differences, you have strong feelings for Jake. I'm sure you don't want to hurt him. And the end of a relationship is always sad, no matter the reason or who leaves whom.
Ms. Lippard: So I can expect a period of grief from this, too?
Dr. Balis: I think you can, yes.
Ms. Lippard: Hmm. Okay.
Dr. Balis: So when are you going to tell him?
Ms. Lippard: Well, like I said, I want to think about it some more. I have to be sure that this is the right thing to do.
Dr. Balis: It sounds to me like you've made a decision.
Ms. Lippard: Okay, then I need a little time to get used to the idea before I go through with it, all right?
Dr. Balis: You should take the time you need.
Ms. Lippard: I won't string him along too long, I promise. I just have to work up to it a little, okay?
Dr. Balis: That's fine.
Ms. Lippard: All right. Jeez, we've used a lot of time. About the dreams, I spoke to Andrew.
Dr. Balis: The anthropologist? And what did he say?
Ms. Lippard: The stuff he came up with is not so much about dreaming as visions. What he's familiar with are Native American and South American vision quest rituals, most of which involve peyote.
Dr. Balis: I was afraid of that.
Ms. Lippard: I know you were, and I have to apologize. I was in a hurry to see Alex, and I didn't listen to you last time. Frankly, I didn't understand what you were going on about. It took Philip to explain it to me. "Gee, Kathy," he said. "Do you think he might have been worried about you taking hallucinogens?" It hadn't occurred to me. Seems like it should have--it was in my anthropology class in college.
Dr. Balis: What kind of "potion" did you think he would suggest?
Ms. Lippard: I was thinking roots and herbs and stuff. Naive, huh? I feel like an idiot.
Dr. Balis: Don't be too hard on yourself. College was years ago, and that sort of thing is outside of your experience. At least I assume it is.
Ms. Lippard: Oh yes, certainly. I smoked a little pot in college, but I didn't like it. It just made me stupid and silly. I never did anything else.
Dr. Balis: So what did you tell Andrew?
Ms. Lippard: I rejected it out of hand, of course. He understood, and said he didn't think that was my style anyway. He did have some suggestions about lucid dreaming, though. You know, Doctor Balis, Andrew's not the flake you may think he is. He's an intelligent, educated man with a broad life experience.
Dr. Balis: Has he taken peyote?
Ms. Lippard: Well, sure. He lived with a tribe in Belize for four months. But that doesn't make him some loser drug addict. He's a respected college professor.
Dr. Balis: Hmm.
Ms. Lippard: I'm certainly not going to drink this repulsive cactus tea, puke my guts up, and then hallucinate god only knows what. But it intrigued me, so I took a kind of informal poll of my friends to see what they thought.
Dr. Balis: And?
Ms. Lippard: Phil is against it. He knows it's not for me, and he doesn't approve of hard drugs anyway. And he knows I hate drugs of all kinds. We have this kind of unspoken agreement--he doesn't smoke pot where I can see him, and I pretend I don't know that he smokes at all. But I'm sure wine and pot are all he does. I remember Mama worrying about Philip moving to San Francisco, fretting that he would get involved with the drug culture in Asbury Park.
Dr. Balis: Asbury Park? Isn't that in New Jersey?
Ms. Lippard: She meant Haight-Ashbury, of course. Mama doesn't get out much. To her, everything on the west coast is either sixties pot parties or nineties movie deals.
Dr. Balis: I see.
Ms. Lippard: Alex was amazed that I even knew what an illegal drug was. He said he didn't think uppers and hallucinogens were for me. He thought that if I want to enhance my experience, I should just try pot. And Jake was pretty much indifferent. He was concerned for my safety, but he didn't try to dissuade me at all. He's done acid before. He told me about being in a safe place with someone I trusted, but he didn't seem too worried about me.
Dr. Balis: Did he offer to be there with you?
Ms. Lippard: It didn't come to that. I assured him I wasn't going to do it, and we changed the subject.
Dr. Balis: I see.
Ms. Lippard: So about the dreaming. Andrew wrote down some ideas about how to recognize when I'm in a dream instead of real life and suggested I work with that. He also had a little ritual--that I've been doing before bed--using a raven's feather, sage, and some camomile tea. It's basically praying to the Spirit of the Raven and asking it for guidance. Apparently this is common for American Indians, though being raised as a Baptist myself, I kind of have a hard time with it. But, hey, whatever works.
Dr. Balis: And is it working?
Ms. Lippard: I think so. I've been remembering all sorts of dreams, using the techniques you gave me. Now I'm doing this ritual and trying to go to sleep with ravens on my mind or, sometimes, Daddy.
Dr. Balis: You think the message is about your father?
Ms. Lippard: I don't know. I kind of hope so.
Dr. Balis: I understand. Katherine, I'm certainly relieved that you're not considering a peyote ritual. I didn't think that was right for you.
Ms. Lippard: I agree. I'm sorry I worried you.
Dr. Balis: That's all right.
Ms. Lippard: But I may have made a new friend. An intelligent and educated friend. That's a good thing.
Dr. Balis: Certainly. Katherine, our time is up. Do you have anything else?
Ms. Lippard: Already? Yes, I have lots of other things I want to talk about. But I guess it can wait. I'll see you next week.
Dr. Balis: Good night, Katherine.
Ms. Lippard: Oh, here's some news from the wire services that I pulled from the Internet for you. I thought you might be interested; you want to keep up with goings on at the company. Good night.
Dr. Balis: I do? Thanks. Good night.
###



March 24, 1998, © Reuters Online

Silicon Impressions Purchases Own Stock

SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - Silicon Impressions, Inc. (SLI) has been quietly moving to purchase large blocks of its own stock in the open market. The San Francisco-based computer hardware and software manufacturer began the unannounced program on Monday in an apparent move to bolster its stock price. The Fortune 1000 company, while showing profits about in line with expectations, has seen little price growth in the past quarter, underperforming the technology sector of the Dow. SLI closed Friday at 27 3/4, up 1/4, on unusually heavy volume.



Associated Press, All Rights Reserved. March 25, 1998

SII in Corporate Stock Buy-Back

AP, San Francisco--Fortune 1000 computer hardware and software maker Silicon Impressions Inc. (SLI) continues its quiet buy-back, having acquired over 3 million shares of its common stock over the last few days. Silicon Impressions has seen it's stock price growth slow from an average of over 9% per quarter for the past seven quarters to barely 1% this last quarter, although earnings have grown in line with projections. On Monday, the company quietly began buying back stock on the open market.

The practice is common for companies trying to bolster their stock, but usually follows a precipitious decline in share price. Silicon Impressions seems to have little need for this move. Silicon Impressions was briefly a suitor for Apple Computers last year, before the return of Steve Jobs.

Speculation that the company may be trying to artificially inflate its price in preparation for a disappointing earnings report sparked a wave of selling. Silicon Impression's stock was down from a high of 28 1/4 today to close at 27 5/8.
###
Arrow, Straight, Left, Earlier Arrow, Straight, Right, Later

Button to Dr. Balis' Notes Doctor Balis' Notes on this Session

Button to Katherine Lippard's Transcripts Transcripts of Katherine Lippard's Communications
Button to Katherine Lippard's Patient File Katherine Lippard's Patient File

TCT Bottom Bar Links to Top of Page

TheTherapist.com. Pipsqueak Productions © 1998. All Rights Reserved.