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Mr. Rozzi:
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Hey, Doc! How you doing? Were you sick or something?
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Dr. Balis:
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Hello, Alex. I'm all right, I wasn't sick. I had to go back to New York on a family emergency. I hope you got my messages.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Yeah, I did. Is everything cool?
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Dr. Balis:
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It's okay, Alex. Thank you for asking.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Yeah, sure...
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Dr. Balis:
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And how are you?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Okay, I guess. The weirdness never ends, though.
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Dr. Balis:
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What do you mean?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Well, not everything is weird. Did I tell you that I saw Katherine? Now she had some funny stories to tell.
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Dr. Balis:
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How is she?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Well, she's been back from Alaska for a few weeks now. We spent some time together just last week. She's buying a house.
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Dr. Balis:
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Really?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Yeah. We went to see this house in Seacliff, it's real close to where that house almost went into the ocean this past winter. You should see the place! It's huge. The ceilings go up pretty high, and the windows are big and tall from floor to ceiling. And the views! You can see the Golden Gate Bridge from just about every room. It's so cool. Plus, we were having such a good time catching up and all. She even let me drive her Jaguar. Man! What a car! But...well, I kind of fucked up.
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Dr. Balis:
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Did you put a dent in it?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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No! No, nothing like that. I wasn't paying attention to the signs, and neither was Katherine. When we went to see the house, I parked in a tow away zone and...well...
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Dr. Balis:
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You got towed again?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Well, I guess I kind of got what I deserved. I really need to start paying attention to the signs, you know? First, she asked me where the car was, and I said it was right there, where I parked it, in front of the house. My heart totally stopped. Then I jangled the keys to make sure I still had them. For a minute, I even thought I might have left them in the ignition. But for like a split second, Katherine thought that maybe the car had gotten stolen, and she was saying something about the neighborhood until I pointed out the sign. That's when we realized the car had been towed, and I was all shitting in my pants. But she was so cool about it, she even laughed. That's why I like her so much, she handles things like no other adult I know. That girl has really got her shit together, you know?
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Anyway, it took hours to get it back, and it cost a lot of money, just like Ralph's car did. But by then, I was an old pro at getting towed cars out. Even though I was totally embarrassed, we both had a good laugh about it after. Katherine is like the coolest person in the entire world, dude.
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Dr. Balis:
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I'm glad everything worked out. I can imagine your distress.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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I'm telling you! If it had been my mom's car, she would've gone completely ballistic, not at all like Katherine. But Katherine told me all sorts of stories about her trip to Alaska. Did you know her father was a bush pilot? I think that's what they are called. There are seventeen air strips in Anchorage, and he used to fly the mail and supplies out to the people who lived out in the wilderness. He sounds like such a cool dude, you know? What a job. Now I want to go to Alaska! She told me about this train that rides out of Anchorage into the sticks. There are no stations, it just stops at the mile markers along the tracks. The conductor takes down a list of all the markers people want to stop at, and then they stop only at those. Or the people who are waiting to get on just flag it down, waving a white flag over their heads to make it stop when they see it coming. It's called The Alaskan Pickup Line.
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Dr. Balis:
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Sounds fascinating.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Yeah, she made it sound better, though. She and Philip also went to this place called Talkeetna or something like that. There, they have what is called a Moose Dropping Festival.
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Dr. Balis:
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Huh?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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You heard me. Someone decided to celebrate moose poop. They shellac them and call them nuggets. Nice, huh? She told me they hold this "Doo Drop" where you buy a numbered nugget and then they string them up in small, hot, air balloons and drop them to the ground. The one that lands closest to a marker wins the prize. And I thought there was nothing to do up there!
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Dr. Balis:
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Sounds like Katherine had a good time.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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She did. She showed me some of Philip's paintings he did, and wow! He did some incredible work. He even asked me if I wanted to assist him on a project that he's going to do--a project inspired by their trip. I haven't decided if I'm going to have the time for it yet, so I told him I'd let him know soon.
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Dr. Balis:
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That could be a nice opportunity.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Yeah. I'm hoping that we can get another nurse for Ralph soon, that would take some of the load off my back. Maybe then, I'll have more time to do stuff like that.
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Dr. Balis:
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That would be good.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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I know, that's why we're trying to get a few people over to the house to see if he likes one. So here's the weird part of what I wanted to tell you. Benny called.
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Dr. Balis:
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He did?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Yeah. Out of the total fucking blue, he called me. So much for closing that book--remember that gypsy woman who told me that part of my life was over with?
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Dr. Balis:
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What did Benny say to you?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Well, when I realized it was him on the phone, I immediately snapped at him: "Why are you calling me? What in hell do you want after all this time?" Then I asked him why it took so long for him to call. He said he had been thinking about me for a long time and that he had called many times in the past few months. He said he always kept reaching the answering machine, and he wasn't sure if he should leave a message. So then, he told me he wanted to know how I was doing and what I was up to these days. It was just like that--he called as if nothing ever changed, like none of that shit ever came down.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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It totally blew me away that he called me like that. I was so shocked, but secretly, I was happy to know he was thinking about me. I knew that if this was so heavy on my mind, it couldn't be too far from his thoughts either, you know? I told him how much hurt he caused, how damaged I...uh...hmm, how hard it was for me. I said that it would have been easier if he had just been honest with me from the beginning instead of lying. And the way he ended things...I told him how wrong it was--I deserved better treatment from him.
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Dr. Balis:
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I'm glad you had an opportunity to say those things to him. How did he respond?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Well, he was very nice about it, which later, made me think that he was up to something, that he had ulterior motives. He said something like: "The past is the past." And he acted like no time had passed between then and now. He teased me for spying on him that time when I slipped off the windowsill and tore my nose ring almost clean out of my nose. But I remember I kicked his ass pretty good. There was a lot of blood. I reminded him of that, and then he went silent for a minute. Anyway, we talked for a long time. Normally, I start to drop off into a coma when I'm on the phone too long. Usually I'd say, "Bored now, bye!" and just hang up to end the call, but with him I didn't. With him, I wanted to keep talking, I didn't want it to end. I know I was too easy.
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Dr. Balis:
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No, I don't think so. It sounds like it did you some good to express some of your feelings and anger to Benny. Perhaps this is the beginning of the end. Maybe you got some closure from that conversation.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Maybe. I don't know. He asked me to come to see him sometime, and I am actually thinking about it. He's over in Copperopolis, so it's only about a three-hour drive from here. But...I don't know. I don't want him to think that just because he called, everything is cool now, you know?
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Dr. Balis:
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I understand.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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But then Luke happened. He was there when I got the call from Benny, and he wasn't too happy that I talked with Benny as long as I did. And then the doorbell rang. You'll never guess who it was.
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Dr. Balis:
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It wasn't Benny.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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No, that would have given me a heart attack. But you're close. Ralph had called Waiters on Wheels, and do remember that guy I told you about? The one at Dore Alley? The one I had that vivid nasty dream about? He was the delivery guy for Waiters on Wheels. When I opened the door, I became the proverbial deer in the headlights. He just looked me up and down with a big grin on his face, and he said something like, "So, we meet again. And now I know where you live." Well, after the phone call with Benny, Luke was already getting pissed, and then that happened. Luke was all, "Who the fuck was that? What did he mean by 'so we meet again?' " And what was I supposed to say?
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Ralph...well, he's been on those Vicodin pills, and so he was all loose and free, totally chowing down by then. He went, "Oh, that's the guy who looks like Benny. He really does, Alex, doesn't he?" Luke had never seen Benny before, not even a picture, so he had no idea. And I was gritting my teeth going, "Okay, Ralph, you can shut-up now." But by then, Luke was completely pissed and just stormed out in a fury. Plus, the next morning, Luke's flight left for New York early, so I didn't get a chance to set it right with him. He didn't call me when he got there, like he normally does. So now I'm fucked. Luke totally bagged on me, and I blew it. But...I don't really know what I did wrong, other than talk to Benny for so long. If Luke would actually spend some time here with me instead of using San Francisco just as a stopping point, maybe he'd know what's going on. I don't know, I'm kind of pissed now.
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Dr. Balis:
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This must be frustrating for you.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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It is! It really is frustrating. I mean...well, I don't know. Now that guy is on my mind again. He knows where I live, and if you could've seen the look he gave me...he practically undressed me with his eyes. I felt so...so...naked. He made me feel the blood pumping up into my face, you know? And Luke saw it all, too! What luck. What dumb fucking luck!
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Dr. Balis:
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I'm sure that once you get a chance to sit down and talk with Luke, you will work this out...
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Mr. Rozzi:
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I don't know, man. This time it felt...it was sort of...it had this feeling like it was over, like this was final. I wish he would call me or something.
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Dr. Balis:
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He will. After all you've been through together, I don't think your relationship will end over petty jealousies.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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I don't know, we'll see. I really should be going, I promised Tony that I would go with him to one of those druggie meetings. He needs the moral support. He's still spinning over that girl, what's her name? I don't want to be late, he'll get all nervous.
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Dr. Balis:
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Okay, Alex. I'll see you next week, same time.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Okay. Talk to you later, dude!
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Dr. Balis:
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Goodbye, Alex.
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###
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Doctor Balis' Notes on this Session
Transcripts of Alex Rozzi's Communications
