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Mr. Rozzi:
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Hey, Doc. Sorry I'm late, I had to talk to Katherine for a minute. Shit! My fucking mom is causing trouble for Katherine at work, just as I suspected she would. That bitch! I'm so over this! So over it. Katherine wanted to know if I told her how we met, but I just told her that my mom--as stupid as she usually is--figured it out on her own. She remembered that SII's newsletter--and of course since she's in the mail room, she saw it more than anyone else--Katherine's picture was right on the cover. Well, she just managed to put the two and two together, anyone could've made that same conclusion. But Katherine seemed to think that it was I who told my mom about the therapy! My mom almost stirred up trouble between Katherine and me!
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Dr. Balis:
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You seem very angry, Alex.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Angry? I'm fucking infuriated at her. You know, I almost left here after I talked with Katherine. I was going to go over to the house, but I changed my mind. She's not going to get the fucking best of me over this. I hope she fries. I hope that Katherine burns her big time, you know? She deserves it. Katherine told her boss that we met through our mutual art connections. They don't have to know that Katherine actually made those connections for me after we met. But the most ridiculous part of it was that they thought Katherine might be dating me! Isn't that funny? My mom is such a stupid bitch. Katherine is as old as my mom. Well, maybe not as old, but she's at least ten years older than me. And anyway, she isn't the right gender, you know? I can just picture that! The thing that bugs me is why would my mom want to do something like this? Why does she do such stupid things?
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Dr. Balis:
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I'm glad you decided to stay, Alex. This is a good place to vent your feelings. It would probably be better if you talk to your mother when you're less agitated. I'm glad you got a chance to talk to Katherine, though.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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I wanted to warn her, and then she dropped the bomb on me about what my mom already did. Katherine asked if I could meet her tomorrow to talk about it, but I couldn't let this wait until tomorrow, you know? But I'll tell you one thing, my mom and I are going to have a talk about this. I'm not going to let this just lie, you know? I don't care what is going on between her and Rosemarie, and I don't care if she's pregnant--she'll try to get out of this by using one of those excuses. I just know she will.
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Dr. Balis:
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Alex, before you confront your mother, are you sure that this is the best thing to do? Such confrontation could make her even more determined to cause trouble for Katherine.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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I don't know, Man, I don't know. She is going to have to stop this right now! That's what I'm saying. I'm not going to let Katherine suffer. No way!
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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I'm going over there right now!
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Dr. Balis:
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Alex! Please sit back down. Thank you. Now, take some slow, deep breaths. Okay, good. You're very agitated, Alex. You need to try to get hold of yourself. Try to relax a bit.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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But it's not helping! See? I can't...I...I can't...uh, I don't understand why she's doing this. The other day when we went to get the Christmas tree, Ralph and I talked about the possibilities, and we both thought that she wouldn't do anything like this. What has she got to gain? Nothing. It's like when she meddled with Tony and his family over Thanksgiving. She had nothing to gain there, and then it backfired on her. Now Rosemarie wants Aunt Sofie's things, and my mom isn't letting her into Aunt Sofie's house. What's up with that? She has no right to do any of this, you know?
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Dr. Balis:
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I agree with you, Alex. But sometimes, we can never understand why people do the things they do. We just have to accept...
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Accept it? You're kidding! No way! That's like saying it's okay. If everybody did the kind of shit she does, then we'd all be killing each other. You know?
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Dr. Balis:
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Accepting people the way they are is not the same as agreeing with their actions. It's just accepting that you can't control people and their actions, just as they can't control your thoughts and opinions of them. Some people do bad things without any logical explanation at all. And sometimes, we don't have the power to stop them. But you can control your own reactions. Will confronting your mother improve this situation? Think this through, Alex.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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I hadn't thought about it that much, I guess. Anything is possible where Larraine is concerned. I don't know, she has caused enough trouble for me in just these past two weeks to last a lifetime. That bitch! I think she even scared Luke off.
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Dr. Balis:
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Why do you think that?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Well, I told you about how she played that little game with Tony and his family. And then there was Rosemarie. My mom has locked her out of Aunt Sofie's house and won't let her get near the place. But Luke...well, he and I were supposed to go out last Saturday night, and he didn't show--didn't call, nothing. The last time I saw him was the day of the funeral, and that was a week and a half ago. He said he had some business in Carmel last week. But we were supposed to meet at Club Universe Saturday night, and he never showed. I called and called...all around, I called, but I haven't been able to reach him. I just know the antics from the weekend before scared him away, and it's mostly my mom's fault--she's such a troublemaker. If Ralph will let me, I may borrow one of his cars and drive down to Carmel to find him so I can figure out what's up with him. If it's my mom...well, I'll tell him she's out of my life. After all this, I don't know what I'm going to do about her. You know?
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Dr. Balis:
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Alex, is there a possibility that Luke might have other reasons for not getting in touch with you?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Yeah...well, I called Beylund, and he told me that Luke has been in the City this week to do some photo work. So it's not like he was called away on business or something. I don't know. Ralph told me that maybe Luke just needs his space for now, but that's no excuse for not calling me. I wanted him to come over and help decorate this huge tree we got. We were going to have a little party last weekend: eggnog, cookies--you know, the whole bit. Ralph and I got this huge, tall tree down in Woodside last weekend. It's twelve feet tall!
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Dr. Balis:
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Maybe there's a reasonable explanation for Luke's behavior.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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There better be.
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Dr. Balis:
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Let's talk a bit about your Aunt Sofie. What has been your reaction to her death?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Well, I keep having these dreams about her--usually, she's hugging me, or she's cooking. But I also had the worst nightmare. She was telling me how my damn truffles were to die for, and when I realized what she said, I woke up in a cold sweat. It scared the hell out of me. I still can't believe that she died on us and on Thanksgiving, too. How am I ever going to be able to enjoy Thanksgiving again? And then there's the truffles. "To die for," that's what she said. "To die for," and then she did. I guess the reality of her death is settling in now, but I still can't believe she's gone. I keep expecting to hear her voice over the phone or to see her walking into the kitchen or something. Even Ralph is pretty broken up about it. I'm going to miss her a lot. She was the only sane person left in my family. And I kind of feel sorry for Rosemarie--my mom is being such a bitch to her. Rosemarie left the family when I was a baby. Now that her mom is dead, she never even got a chance to make up with her, to set things right. And now, my mom is holding a grudge, too. What a fucked-up family I have. But those dreams...well, they're pretty vivid and realistic.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Well, they don't really bother me...well, not like some dreams I have had. Usually, I feel weird for a little while and then it's over. I miss her, I know I do. Even though I didn't see her every day, I still miss her. I'm glad that she went so peacefully and that she was with us--the people she loved the most--when she died. I guess the reality of it has hit me finally. She was good to me, and I'll miss her for her kindness. Now, if I can just get Rosemarie past my mom.
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Dr. Balis:
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Do you feel it's your responsibility?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Huh? Well, no. It's not, really. But she deserves to at least get inside her mother's house. Maybe that way she can make peace with her or something. Mark told me that she left the family when I was small and that she and Larraine never got along--something to do with her brother, Jeff. He's the one I told you about who died from AIDS-related complications. My mom has no right, no right at all! If Rosemarie is going to remain here in San Francisco, she's going to need a place to stay. And if my mom has anything to say about it, that house is just going to sit there empty. Ralph offered Rosemarie the little cottage in back, after his tenant from hell leaves. By the way, Ralph's tenant--the gunslinger--is back. The police confiscated his guns, but he's still crazy. The day he returned, he was drinking again. Can you believe it?
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Dr. Balis:
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When is he going to leave?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Ralph gave him an official eviction notice. He has one month to vacate the premises. If he isn't out by the first of the year, then legal eviction proceedings can begin. But he can end up staying there for another three months if he decides to, rent-free even.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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First, you have to serve notice. Then, if the tenant doesn't move--possession is nine-tenths of the law--he can stay for up to ninety days in that place without paying rent while the legal system's rusty old wheels crank away. It isn't any fun being a landlord, and Ralph has put up with it far too long. The guy is a slob and a drunk. I only saw the interior of the place that one time when I put out the garbage can fire, and it smelled something awful and was a total mess. So Ralph and I will have quite a clean up job when he goes. Being a landlord is thankless.
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Dr. Balis:
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I see. I hope the guy goes without any trouble.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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That's all we can hope for. But I think he's going to milk the situation for all it's worth. In the meantime, Ralph is a nervous wreck over it, and I am worried that he's going to burn the place down or something. The more I think about it, the more worried I get.
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Dr. Balis:
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This is something beyond your control, Alex.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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I know and that's why I'm so worried. The guy is a real weirdo, there's no telling what he may do next. With all this shit coming down, it's a wonder that I'm still sleeping, you know?
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Dr. Balis:
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I'm glad you are. Do you still take the melatonin?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Yeah, every night now. It really must be working.
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Dr. Balis:
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What about the running thoughts, do you still have those?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Hello? Haven't I demonstrated that enough for you already? All this shit--my mom causing shit for Katherine--well, that's been on my mind even before Katherine told me what my mom did. And the stuff about Luke is driving me crazy. I wish I knew what was going on with him. Plus now, Rosemarie is here and my mom is playing games with her...well, like I said, I feel bad for her and all. She seems real nice to me. We had her over the house the other night, and she helped decorate the tree. She said that I remind her of herself when she was my age. We really have hit it off. I like her a lot. But I'm worried about what my mother has in store for her. So yes, the thoughts just keep right on running through my head. But they don't keep me up at night. You know what I'm going to do? Instead of going over to my mom's after I leave here, I think I'll go home and wail on that punching bag. Yeah, that's what I'll do. Fuck my mom. Karma will decide her fate. What goes around, comes around--she'll get hers.
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Dr. Balis:
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I think the punching bag is a better idea, at least for now. But you may still have to face your mom at some point.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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You mean she's going to have to face me at some point! One way or another, she's going to have to deal with me on this. But the punching bag sounds real good right now. Thanks, Doc, for letting me unload all my shit on you.
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Dr. Balis:
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I'm glad to be here for you. And Alex, try to think things through before acting with haste. You will get much better results if you do. And I encourage you to use that punching bag to get these feelings of anger and frustration out. Now, we're out of time.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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So, I'm out of here, Man. See you!
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Dr. Balis:
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I'll see you next week, Alex. Goodbye.
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###
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Doctor Balis' Notes on this Session
Transcripts of Alex Rozzi's Communications
