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Dr. Balis:
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Hello, Alex. What...
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Don't ask. Oh, fuck it! Okay, okay. I sort of got into a fight.
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Dr. Balis:
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Do you want to tell me about it?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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It's my mom.
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Dr. Balis:
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Your mother gave you that bruise?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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No, not her! Shit! It was all about her and Katherine. See, I punched and punched that bag and...
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Dr. Balis:
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The punching bag, right?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Ha! Ha! You're too funny. Have you ever thought about doing stand-up? Yes, I mean the punching bag. Do you think I would hit my mother? Shit, I wouldn't hit a female; I'd really hurt one if I did. But the punching bag...I punched and wailed and wailed on it, and it still wasn't enough. I couldn't get any of it out of my head, so I started walking around until I found myself at the door. I was putting my key in the hole, and she slammed open the door, scaring the holy-bejesus out of me. And she was like, "What do you want?" Well, I told her I knew what she did to Katherine. And then, I tried to warn her that--like the thing with Tony and his parents--it was all going to backfire on her.
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Dr. Balis:
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What did she say to that?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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She started in on me again about Katherine's age. And I was like, "Hello? I am gay, remember?" We were both raising our voices, and then Mark got in the middle. And he pushed me back kind of hard, you know? Well, that didn't do anything to help matters, because then I went off big time. I screamed, "Fuck you" probably ten times. And the next thing I knew, I was on my ass on the floor--he hit me! Everything was a blur after that. But right now, I am not allowed to go back to the house. Mark has three cracked ribs, and I sort of dislocated his jaw. After all that, I went back to Ralph's and wailed on that bag some more. That's why this hand is bandaged up--I punched for too long with only one glove on and skinned my knuckles. I still feel pretty angry about it--about what that bitch did. She's probably blaming me for everything. Now I'm the bad guy, you know?
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Dr. Balis:
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Fighting with Mark was not smart, Alex. It wasn't the best way to handle the situation. And you still seem pretty wound up. Have you slept at all?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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What's that? Sleep? Me? Ha, ha, ha, ha! You missed your calling, Doc. You should've been a comedian.
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Dr. Balis:
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I'm not joking, Alex.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Okay, okay. I'll bite. What did you ask me again? Oh, come on! Why are you looking at me that way?
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Dr. Balis:
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Have you slept at all?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Oh, yeah. Sorry. Ha, ha, ha! Oh, uh...sorry, I just kind of feel like I'm losing my mind or something. No. I'm not sleeping. Even the melatonin isn't working, and I don't have anymore of those pills you gave me. But it's okay...ha, ha...uh, I don't need to sleep right now. At least I don't feel like I really need to. Even when I went to Carmel last weekend, I couldn't sleep. So I walked along the beach in front of Luke's family's house. You should've seen the humongous waves crashing on the shore, it was awesome! But I don't feel like I lost any sleep. Funny, huh? Ha, ha!
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm. I will write you another prescription for the sleeping pills. I want you to go downstairs after the session and fill it today. Take it tonight. You've got to get some sleep. You're not even able to sit still--your whole body is shaking. And you sound hysterical.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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But I don't need the medication, I really don't. This will all blow over soon, and then I'll be back to normal. Right now, I just want to run and run--just keep on going, you know?
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Dr. Balis:
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You've got to get some sleep, Alex. Here's the prescription. Fill it today, okay?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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I guess I can fill it...
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Dr. Balis:
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Then take it tonight, before you go to bed.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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But...
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Dr. Balis:
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Alex, why are you trying to argue with me about this? You just told me that you feel like you're losing your mind. Need I say more?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Okay, all right. Sometimes, you take everything so seriously. Luke wonders why I wasn't sleeping. Ralph told me that I can punch the punching bag until I drop for all he cares--he really wants me to get this out of my system.
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Dr. Balis:
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The punching bag is a good idea if it works. But right now, it doesn't seem to be working. Your lack of sleep is probably the reason it isn't working. There are many studies on sleep deprivation...
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Yeah. Well, you don't have to go citing some stupid study, okay? I just do this sometimes.When things get heavy, I don't sleep. I feel a little light-headed, but other than that I don't feel bad. Actually, I feel pretty good right now. And since Luke has reappeared...well, I'm okay there, too. It's just that with him it's...uh, I don't know.
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Dr. Balis:
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What?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Well, I told you how he stood me up the weekend before last? And then, when we finally did talk, he told me that he had some family business to attend to. And the night he didn't show, he was working and lost track of time. Beylund was right about him.
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Dr. Balis:
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How so?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Well, he said that he saw Luke during the week--they did some print work--and Luke was obviously preoccupied. But then Luke showed up at the house Friday night full of affection. He couldn't keep his hands off me! He wanted to go to Carmel. So I went with him, and the thing I noticed after going there for the third time was that his family was nowhere to be found. There were pictures and stuff, but no one was home. It's weird.
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Dr. Balis:
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Where is his family?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Well, his mother died a few years ago, and his dad has some kind of import business and travels a lot. He has a sister who is away in school in Southern California. He also has an older brother who works in the Middle East. But the only time we go there is when his dad is out of town. I haven't met any of his friends or family. Isn't that weird?
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Dr. Balis:
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You've just explained where they all are. Why does it seem weird to you?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Well, he has met everyone in my life except for you. He doesn't like to talk about his family. And when I asked him about friends, he told me that modeling kind of limits his ability to have time for friends. Then I saw pictures of him in his uniform--he played football in high school. There was this one picture of him and this girl in a cheerleader outfit, and they looked pretty chummy. When I asked him about it, he quickly changed the subject. It's like he doesn't want to talk about himself too much. Is that normal?
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Dr. Balis:
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Some people are very private about their personal lives. I'm sure that with time, as the two of you get to know each other more, he'll open up to you.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Well, it surprised me that he just showed up at the house unannounced and totally horny. Here I was in the kitchen making some Christmas cookies, and out of the blue he just walked in and wanted to fool around. I was like: "Back off, Dude. Can't you see I'm busy?" He still didn't leave me alone, he was all hands. Finally, I rolled up the cookie dough and put it in the fridge. Then we drove down to Carmel. I don't know, but something isn't quite right with him. It's a gut feeling, you know?
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm. Give it some time, Alex. Perhaps it's nothing. And the lack of sleep can generate paranoid...
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Let's not go back there, okay? I know that eventually I need to get some sleep. But right now, I just can't deal with that. My paintings are becoming more elaborate these days. That's what I've been doing--painting. Late at night, when Ralph is asleep, when the world is asleep, I paint. Katherine's painting is almost done. She picked a strange piece; maybe I'll show it to you when it's done. It surprised me that she chose that one. Ha, ha! Yup! She picked a strange one. It's a guy sitting contemplating with a baby elephant in the background trying to get his attention. I just didn't expect her to choose that one. Oh, yeah. When my mom, Mark, and I were fighting, I told her that Katherine wasn't going to take shit from her and that I gave Katherine permission to use anything to beat my mom down. I thought that maybe threatening her would make her back down. I hope she thinks about what I said. I told Katherine that too--she has my permission to do what she needs to do to get my mom off her back. I bet it would really embarrass my mom if people at work knew that I don't even live with her and that we don't even get along. How does it look when a family doesn't get along? Shit! Even Rosemarie is in on the family act, you know?
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Dr. Balis:
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How so?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Well, she's got herself a lawyer and is contesting Aunt Sofie's will. She wants the house and the trust fund that my uncle set up for her when she was small, before all the trouble between her and Sofie started. I still don't understand everything there. I just don't have all the details. But next week before Christmas, she'll move into Ralph's little unit.
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Dr. Balis:
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The tenant is gone now?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Yes, he's gone. I guess I forgot to tell you that. Yeah, Ralph offered to give him back his rent money for the month if he would just pack up and go. And the guy took the money and left. So now he's gone. But the day after he left, the police came looking for him. Ralph didn't know where the guy went, but the police insisted that we contact them if we hear from him. The dude did something real bad--my gut feeling tells me that. My gut instinct told me that he was wrong before, and now the police confirmed it. I wonder what he did. Oh, well. After he was gone, we had a big mess to clean up. Ralph hired this guy to clean and paint the place, it should be all ready by the weekend. So my cousin Rosemarie is going to be my neighbor now. Ralph is way cool, you know?
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Dr. Balis:
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He does seems to like your family, and he is very generous to you.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Well, I went out and bought him a couple of real nice cigars, he really loves those. And I'm doing a painting for him for his bedroom or bathroom. It's a guy in overalls standing in a cornfield. The overalls are coming unbuckled, and he wears nothing under the overalls. He's real hot looking--hairy chest and arms, muscular body, and curly blond hair. Ralph doesn't know about it yet, but by Christmas it will be done.
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Dr. Balis:
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I'm sure he will be happy to have one of your paintings.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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I'll bring some work in soon for you to see.
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Dr. Balis:
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I'd like that, Alex. I'm glad to know that you're using some of your time productively. We're running out of time, and I'd like to remind you to get that prescription filled on your way out. I'm very concerned about the lack of sleep and I hope that you heed my advice and take the medication. I can't emphasize enough how important your rest is to your well being.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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I know, I know. Ha, ha, ha! Sometimes, you look so totally serious, you know? I don't know what you'd be like if you had kids of your own. You'd probably be a nervous wreck! But those looks on your face are so...see? You're doing it again! Ha, ha! All right already. I'll get the pills, and maybe I'll get to sleep tonight.
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Dr. Balis:
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Good. Now, next week is Christmas. I will only be seeing patients who absolutely need to come in between Christmas and New Years. Do you want to schedule a session sometime during the next two weeks? Or do you feel okay to wait and come in on January 7th?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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No problem, Doc. I'll see you in three weeks.
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Dr. Balis:
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All right. But call me if you need to, okay?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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All right. Later on, Dude.
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Dr. Balis:
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Goodbye, Alex.
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###
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Doctor Balis' Notes on this Session
Transcripts of Alex Rozzi's Communications
