| |
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Good afternoon, Olivia. Please come in.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Stillwell:
|
|
Hi, Doctor Balis.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Who was that gentleman in the waiting room with you?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Stillwell:
|
|
The Big Kahuna, the grand daddy of them all--my father.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Oh?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Stillwell:
|
|
When he's determined about something, there's no stopping him.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
What's going on, Olivia?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Stillwell:
|
|
He is going to shanghai me into talking to his attorney this evening. He wants me to give an affadivit about what happened on the night of the attack.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
And are you reluctant to do so?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Stillwell:
|
|
That's an understatement! It's odd. After the attack, I would have done almost anything to see those punks face justice. But I'm over it now, totally over it. I just want to go on with my life, such that it is, and put it all in the past. But my father keeps dredging it up and wants me to tell him all the details. He even hired someone to do a background check on Steffy. He said he doesn't want any "surprises" to come out in court, if this ever makes it to a courtroom.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
He does sound very determined.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Stillwell:
|
|
And, Doctor, I owe you an apology. You were right. I went totally bananas on you, and there was no call for it. You were so right. Steffy is a...um, lesbian and...uh, she does...um, I mean...she is interested in...
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
She is interested in more than just a platonic relationship with you?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Stillwell:
|
|
Uh, yeah.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
How did all of this come out?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Stillwell:
|
|
My father showed me his findings on Steffy. Here's a page of it. I was only able to get this last page, but it's enough to give you an idea of what's in the rest of the report.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
I see.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Stillwell:
|
|
I'm not sure what he expected me to say when he showed this to me. He was probably relieved to read that "currently living without a companion" part. Anyway, I went over to Steffy's place the night my father showed this to me. I wanted to hear it from her--I asked her if she was a lesbian.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Which she confirmed?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Stillwell:
|
|
Yes. She hugged me tight and told me that she'd been afraid to tell me. She was afraid that I'd treat her differently or stop being her friend. She said that when she "came out" to her parents, they refused to continue to pay for her school. She was devastated. Ever since, she's been very cautious about telling people about her sexuality.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Mmm hmm.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Stillwell:
|
|
That club we went to for drinks, Club Universe, it's a gay club. I feel so stupid. I had no idea. I guess I was the victim of gay bashing and didn't even know it.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
How does that make you feel?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Stillwell:
|
|
I was kind of angry at first. But then I just felt sorry for the guys that did this. I just can't imagine having so much hatred pent-up inside.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Did you tell Stephanie that your father had her investigated?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Stillwell:
|
|
No, I was too embarrassed that he'd do such a thing. It really is an invasion of privacy.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
She didn't question why you were suddenly enlightened regarding her sexuality?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Stillwell:
|
|
I was slick about it, Doc, I didn't just blurt it out. I just steered the conversation in the direction I wanted. We talked for a long time. I even asked her what made her realize that she wanted to love women and not men. I was impressed with her answer. She said that it wasn't like one day she woke up and was suddenly attracted to women.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Self-realization is usually a slow, ongoing process for most people.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Stillwell:
|
|
She said that she had always been curious about other women's bodies. Whenever she would go scooping for cute guys, she'd also see women that she thought were particularly hot. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that it wasn't the equipment that stirred her soul, but the person.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Hmm.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Stillwell:
|
|
I thought that was a good way to look at life. Too often, people become distracted by physical characteristics and fail to see who that person really is. While physical attraction is important, I think that many people find that the more they get to know someone, the more attractive that person becomes.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
That's very observant, Olivia.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Stillwell:
|
|
Well, all of this has made me start looking at my life. Look at me. I live in a house my father bought for me. I pay him a paltry sum each month for rent. I got my start in the industry working for daddy's company. I have almost no friends. I have no social life. I've never had a real relationship. Doctor Balis, I'm a virgin! I'm a twenty-five...almost twenty-six year old virgin. That is pitiful.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
The tissues are on the table beside you.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Stillwell:
|
|
Thank you. It's just that...well, here's this woman who knows herself. She's confident with who she is and with her place in the world. She has faced adversity and has even been outcast from her family. And then there's me--a sniveling little daddy's girl. When Steffy was telling me about her decision to come out to her parents, I could see the determination and strength in her eyes. I could never tell my father something like that. I feel like he has me on this pedestal like a trophy, and as long as I'm dressed in petticoats and lace with every hair perfectly in place...well...he would only accept me that way. But I'm tired of being on this damn pedestal.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Your father obviously loves you, Olivia. When you first came here, you were in the process of distancing yourself from your father, and I believe that you've made some progress.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Stillwell:
|
|
I suppose I have. I don't work for him anymore, and I don't live with him anymore. But what did I do at the first sign of trouble? I ran right back to him. Remember when I tried to stay at my father's house because I didn't want to be alone in my own house?
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
It's only natural to want to feel safe and protected after a trauma. You know that your father will always protect you and that you will be safe with him. Don't discount that as weakness, Olivia.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Stillwell:
|
|
I just want to feel that I can rely on myself for what I need and to know that I won't always be running back to my father for some...for whatever comes up. I don't want to talk about this anymore, Doctor Balis.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Okay, we can drop it for now. What else is on your mind?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Stillwell:
|
|
Well, the mystery of the secret admirer has not been solved.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Your blind date was a no-show?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Stillwell:
|
|
Yeah. And I felt pretty stupid for showing up. At least Caren and her husband had a nice evening out. I left before they did, but I gave their waitress my charge number and told her to call me when they were ready to go. No big deal.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Was there anyone else in the restaurant that you recognized?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Stillwell:
|
|
Nope. I kept looking around to see if I could recognize someone from work, but I didn't see anyone though. It's kind of creepy when you think about it. Someone went to all that trouble to make all those cards and then didn't even show up. Oh, I almost forgot. Steffy might have to put Chain Saw to sleep.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Her Rottweiler?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Stillwell:
|
|
Uh huh. He bit some kid. I told Steffy that Chain Saw was a lawsuit waiting to happen, but she didn't listen.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
I hope the child wasn't seriously injured.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Stillwell:
|
|
So does Steffy. Not only will they make her put her dog to sleep, but she could end up with criminal charges brought against her, not to mention a hefty lawsuit. I think it happened over the weekend. She was really late getting in to work this morning because she was on the phone for so long with her landlord. If her landlord's insurance company finds out about the bite, they might drop the policy. If this kid's parents decide to sue, the insurance company would be paying.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Sounds like a bad situation.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Stillwell:
|
|
Yeah, I don't envy Steffy. We didn't have a lot of time to talk about it at work, but she said she'd fill me in on all the details tonight. She asked me to go with her to the animal shelter to see Chain Saw. But now that my father has decided to plan my evening for me, I can scratch the visit to Poochie-Ville off my list for tonight.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Hmm. Well, our time is up. But before you leave, I want to say a few things.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Stillwell:
|
|
Um, okay.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
You probably feel a lot of internal pressure to have sex just to lose your virginity. But I respect you for not lowering your standards just to lose it. Your desire to find the right person to share yourself with is admirable. It's not something to be ashamed of. One last thing before you head out...
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Stillwell:
|
|
Yes?
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Do what you want, Olivia. If you don't want to go forward with a civil suit against your attackers, you don't have to do so. Just keep in mind that this decision is yours.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Stillwell:
|
|
Okay, I will. Thanks, Doc. Uh, would a hug desecrate any doctor/patient ethics?
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
In this context, I think it's quite permissible.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Stillwell:
|
|
See you next week, Doc.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Goodbye and good luck this evening, Olivia.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Stillwell:
|
|
Thanks.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
###
|
|
Doctor Balis' Notes on this Session
Transcripts of Olivia Stillwell's Communications
