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Dr. Balis:
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Good afternoon, Olivia. Please have a seat.
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Ms. Stillwell:
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Hi, Doc.
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Dr. Balis:
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Happy birthday!
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Ms. Stillwell:
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Why, thank you, Doc! You remembered.
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Dr. Balis:
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Well...
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Ms. Stillwell:
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I know--it's in my files. Oh, sorry about last week. With this new product announcement, I had more than my usual load to deal with at work.
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Dr. Balis:
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That's okay. I hope you had a chance to celebrate your birthday.
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Ms. Stillwell:
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My father and I went out to dinner. Aside from that, my birthday was just another quiet evening at home with Sherman.
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Dr. Balis:
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That sounds very nice, actually.
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Ms. Stillwell:
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It was.
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Dr. Balis:
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How did things go with your father and his attorney?
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Ms. Stillwell:
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Pretty well. I stood my ground and explained to them why I did not want to go ahead with a lawsuit. Mr. Bergen was pretty pushy about it, but my father called him off when I burst into tears. I just cried and cried. I kept trying to make them understand that a lawsuit wouldn't help me get over this or feel any better about what happened. I think my father finally heard me...I mean really heard what I was saying when it was through tears.
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Dr. Balis:
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Mm-hmm. Where did things go from there?
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Ms. Stillwell:
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My father asked Mr. Bergen to give us a few minutes to talk. After Mr. Bergen left, my father asked me why I hadn't told him this sooner. I was absolutely floored. How on earth could he not realize that I did not want to do this? It's not like that was the first time I'd voiced my opinion on the subject. Jeez! How long have I been telling him that I don't want to talk to reporters and that I don't want to deal with the State Department? I don't want to file a civil lawsuit period! Great Gertie-Schmertie! How many times do I have to tell him? So there I was sniffing, dripping, and whining. I'm sure Mr. Bergen thought I was a nut-case.
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Dr. Balis:
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It's good that your father finally understood your feelings about this, Olivia, even if it did take a while.
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Ms. Stillwell:
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Well, there's no doubt now. He was a bit peeved because they had done a lot of preliminary work and it all went down the drain now. After that, we left Mr. Bergen's office and headed over to my house for a long talk.
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Dr. Balis:
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Uh huh.
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Ms. Stillwell:
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By the time we got there, I was furious about everything. I said some pretty harsh things to him. I pretty much let off a lot of steam that had been building up.
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Dr. Balis:
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What did you tell him?
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Ms. Stillwell:
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Well, we started with the attack. His eyes teared up when I told him how much he hurt me the night I told him about the attack. He was really confused, so I spelled it out to him. When he realized that he totally blew off how I felt about the attack and my emotions so that he could go for blood and track down the attackers, he had to sit down and close his eyes for a while. I told him that when he did that, he made me feel like a tarnished trophy. And I told him that it felt like his only concern was getting retribution from the person who damaged his possession.
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Dr. Balis:
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What was his reaction?
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Ms. Stillwell:
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He said he was sorry and held me tight for a while. He tried to explain, but said that there was no way to justify his behavior.
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Dr. Balis:
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Did his remorse help you feel better?
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Ms. Stillwell:
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Not at the time. I was too caught up in telling him about all his faults. Upon reflection, it did help to know that he realized how he had hurt me.
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Dr. Balis:
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Did you continue talking after that?
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Ms. Stillwell:
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Yeah. I launched into what I call my Trophy Complex.
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Dr. Balis:
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Trophy Complex?
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Ms. Stillwell:
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Trophy Complex is all about being that perfect daughter on a pedestal. It is always knowing that Daddy will be there to pad each step I take and to make sure the world is perfect for me. It's being afraid to live my life and do the things I want to do for fear of his disapproval. It's always wondering if my life measures up to his expectations of me. Oh, drat! Do you have more tissues, Doctor Balis?
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Dr. Balis:
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Here you go. It seems that you were able to vent a lot that night. How did your father respond?
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Ms. Stillwell:
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At first, he was angry and told me that he did not raise me to speak to him in such a disrespectful way. So I...um, I stuck my tongue out at him.
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Dr. Balis:
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Quite mature, Olivia.
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Ms. Stillwell:
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Yeah, I know. It still makes me laugh when I think about it. Don't bother to try hiding your smile, Doc. It's pretty funny when you think about it. My poor father just blinked a few times. Then I just burst out laughing! He stared at me for a few moments longer, and then he laughed a little, too. Then he suggested that I lay down for a while and that we would discuss all this later when I wasn't so weary. And I told him to quit patronizing me and to treat me like an adult. I swear, Doc, I thought he was going to have a heart attack!
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Dr. Balis:
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Is that your pager, Olivia?
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Ms. Stillwell:
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Yeah. Oh, wow! It's Jordan. He's in town and wants to meet me for drinks and dinner. Doctor, I know we have a lot to discuss, but can I leave early please? See? I can get messages on my pager. I didn't know he was going to choose an address across town--this is in the outer Sunset. I need to leave now, if I want to meet him on time.
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Dr. Balis:
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All right. Go ahead, Olivia. Have a good evening.
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Ms. Stillwell:
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Thanks a million, Doctor Balis! Thank you, thank you, thank you, and thank you!
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Dr. Balis:
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Olivia, I'm glad you and your father had that talk. I'm looking forward to hearing more about it next week. Goodbye.
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Ms. Stillwell:
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Thank you, Doctor Balis! See you next week!
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###
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Doctor Balis' Notes on this Session
Transcripts of Olivia Stillwell's Communications
