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Ms. Green:
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Doctor? May I come in?
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Dr. Balis:
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Hello Anna. Sure. You're a bit early today. What's up?
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Ms. Green:
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I just drove down from my parents.
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Dr. Balis:
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From Davis?
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Ms. Green:
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Yes.
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Dr. Balis:
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Were you spending Christmas with them?
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Ms. Green:
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Yes. I always take a week off during this time of year--Christmas and New Years--and spend it with them. It's a tradition.
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Dr. Balis:
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You should have told me. We could have rescheduled your appointment for some other time.
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Ms. Green:
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That's all right. There wasn't that much traffic today really.
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Dr. Balis:
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Do you have plans in the city tonight?
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Ms. Green:
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No. I was planning to drive straight back from our session to make it in time for dinner.
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Dr. Balis:
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Oh.
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Ms. Green:
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So if you don't mind, I would like to start our session early and end early. Is that okay?
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Dr. Balis:
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It's okay today.
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Ms. Green:
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That's great Doctor. Thank you very much.
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Dr. Balis:
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So how was Christmas with your family?
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Ms. Green:
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It was good. I told you that my mother is a good cook. She makes the most unbelievable turkey and gravy and stuffing. You would like it.
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Dr. Balis:
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I'm sure I would.
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Ms. Green:
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My mother always makes the same meal for all the holidays--Christmas and Easter and Thanksgiving of course.
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Dr. Balis:
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Always turkey?
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Ms. Green:
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Yes. But the desert is different. It's pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving, and plum pudding for Christmas, and some chocolates for Easter.
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Dr. Balis:
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How traditional.
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Ms. Green:
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I guess. But it's good.
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Dr. Balis:
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So the food was very good. And how were your parents?
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Ms. Green:
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They are the same. They want to know all about me--what projects am I working on at SII? Do I eat okay? What movies do I see? How is Caren? Is there anything new in the city?--If you notice the pattern it's all leading up to my social life.
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Dr. Balis:
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I noticed. Do your parents know Caren?
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Ms. Green:
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Caren and my mom are buddies.
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Dr. Balis:
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I see.
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Ms. Green:
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Every time they come down to see me, my mother wants me to invite Caren over. She even talks to her on the phone on a regular basis. Sometimes I feel like Caren is my mom's inside man.
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Dr. Balis:
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What do you mean?
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Ms. Green:
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Well what else do they talk about? All my mom is really interested in is about me and my life. And Caren is able to come up with information about me that I might not necessarily volunteer.
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Dr. Balis:
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Are you upset with Caren because she talks to your mom?
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Ms. Green:
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No. I have an understanding with Caren--she doesn't tell my mom and I don't tell her's.
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Dr. Balis:
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You know Caren's parents?
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Ms. Green:
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Sure. We've been friends forever.
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Dr. Balis:
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How are you getting along with Caren?
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Ms. Green:
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Just fine. No problems.
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Dr. Balis:
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Good.
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Ms. Green:
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So my parents wanted me to tell them about the guy that I'm dating.
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Dr. Balis:
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You told them about John?
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Ms. Green:
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Well not really. We haven't seen each other lately. He went to see his parents over the holidays--some big family reunion or something. And I was busy.
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Dr. Balis:
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Are you still going out?
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Ms. Green:
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He thinks so.
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Dr. Balis:
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And you?
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Ms. Green:
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I didn't think the holidays were a good time to break the news to him.
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Dr. Balis:
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You're planning on breaking up with him?
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Ms. Green:
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Frankly I was hoping he'd figure it out himself. But the man is dense, so I will have to do the damage manually.
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Dr. Balis:
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That sounds mean.
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Ms. Green:
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I gave him tons of opportunities to break my heart but he just wouldn't take them. I wanted him to break up with me. I figured that I didn't care either way and his ego might have fared better if he initiated the break up. But I can't wait forever, can I Doctor?
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Dr. Balis:
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If you really don't want to be with John, I think you should let him know.
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Ms. Green:
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I think so too. So my parents wanted to know who I was dating.
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Dr. Balis:
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You said that.
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Ms. Green:
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Yes I did.
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Dr. Balis:
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What did you tell them?
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Ms. Green:
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I said that I wasn't really dating anyone but I did like somebody a lot.
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Dr. Balis:
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Oh?
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Ms. Green:
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I told them that he was very handsome and extremely intelligent. That he had his own business and was very good at what he did.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm.
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Ms. Green:
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They were very, very pleased.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm.
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Ms. Green:
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My mom wanted to know what I was planning to do.
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Dr. Balis:
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What are you planning to do?
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Ms. Green:
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I told her that I don't know yet. But that we are seeing a lot of each other and he is getting to know me really well. I told her that he thinks that I'm very intelligent too. And I said that I hoped that he thought that I was beautiful as well.
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Dr. Balis:
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I see.
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Ms. Green:
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My dad said that if this guy hadn't noticed how good looking I am yet then he's blind. My mom wanted to know if we'd gone out on a date yet.
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Dr. Balis:
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What did you tell her?
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Ms. Green:
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I said that we'd never been on a formal date yet. And that we'd never even kissed. But...
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm?
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Ms. Green:
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But that he saw me naked by accident. But I told them that this guy was a perfect gentleman and didn't make me feel self conscious about this little incident and...
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Dr. Balis:
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Anna!
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Ms. Green:
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What Doctor?
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Dr. Balis:
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That's enough.
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Ms. Green:
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What do you mean?
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Dr. Balis:
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Did you really tell your parents about me? Did you make them believe that I was a prospective suitor for their daughter?
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Ms. Green:
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They wanted to know what was going on in my life. You wouldn't want me to lie would you?
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Dr. Balis:
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Lie? What do you call telling you parents...
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Ms. Green:
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I was just telling them about a man that I thought was perfect for me. I was telling them about the man that I love. I was telling them about the most important thing that was going on in my life right now. What should have I told them Doctor? Should I have told them about John? He is a nothing. He is completely irrelevant to my life. Why should I waste their time on him?
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Dr. Balis:
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You didn't tell them that the man you were describing is your psychiatrist, did you?
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Ms. Green:
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I didn't tell them what you did for a living.
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Dr. Balis:
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It's a bit more than that, don't you think? You didn't tell them about our true relationship--that of a doctor and a patient.
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Ms. Green:
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Should I have upset my mother on her favorite holiday? My grandmother was there. She's eighty seven. Should I have told her that her only granddaughter is crazy? She was raised and accustomed to a different set of judgments and has a different point of view on life. She would never understand seeing a psychiatrist for reasons other than a total nervous breakdown. If I just mentioned that I'd seen a therapist some time in the past, she'd have a heart attack. Is that what you want Doctor?
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Dr. Balis:
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Anna, you know...
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Ms. Green:
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Yes I know. That's why I didn't really tell them anything. I never mentioned your name. I never mentioned what you do. And I never said that I thought you were interested in me.
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Dr. Balis:
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Do they know why you drove to the city today?
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Ms. Green:
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I told them that I was going to see you.
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Dr. Balis:
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Did you tell them it was a date?
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Ms. Green:
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I said that we planned to meet in the afternoon and talk. But nothing more. I really have to go Doctor. I would hate to catch the rush hour traffic over the Bay Bridge.
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Dr. Balis:
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Okay Anna. We will continue this discussion next week.
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Ms. Green:
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I'll be here.
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Dr. Balis:
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Next Thursday at four then.
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Ms. Green:
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Goodbye Doctor. Happy New Year.
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Dr. Balis:
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Goodbye Anna.
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###
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Doctor Balis' Notes on this Session
Transcripts of Anna Green's Communications
