| |
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
Hello Doctor. Happy New Year.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Hello Anna. Happy New Year to you too.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
Thank you very much. I'm hoping for a really great one.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
I hope you get your wish. Did you go out and celebrate on Tuesday?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
I wanted to.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
But? I hear a "but."
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
At the last minute John showed up. He claimed that we had a date.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Did you?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
I didn't think so.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
But John did?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
He said that we made it months ago.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
You've only been going out for a few weeks.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
Precisely. But he insisted that we did and...I just didn't want to argue about that. If he wanted to tag along that was fine.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Were you planning on meeting any friends?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
Just Caren and her boyfriend. Although they had someone in mind for me to meet that night. But oh well.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
That was very nice of you.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
Letting John come along and wasting an opportunity?
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Sort of.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
I wasn't particularly interested in meeting anyone. I basically just wanted someone to dance with.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
So John was your dancing partner for New Year's Night?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
I wish it went that well.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
What happened?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
Oh John was feeling needy and was all weird. He totally ruined my evening.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
What did he do?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
What didn't he do? First he was all strange and jumpy when he showed up in my apartment completely unannounced. He was lucky that I didn't have a guy there or something. I could just see how that would have played out. But I was just getting ready to meet Caren--they were going to buzz me, and we were going in their car. If I was just a little bit luckier I would have completely missed him.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Instead you spend the evening with Mr. "completely irrelevant to my life."
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
You remembered that?
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
You made a point of just how little John means to you.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
I guess I did. But I just want you to notice that I didn't simply throw him out. I let him come along with us and make our New Year's Eve a total hell.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
I'm sure Caren and her boyfriend were grateful to you for that.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
They told me that I owe them big.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
I see.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
In any case, John showed up just as I was putting on my make-up. I let him in and he just stood there and watched me. Made me really uncomfortable.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Why?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
It was as if he was judging me or something.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Your make-up?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
Everything--the way my hair was, my dress, my shoes...just everything. I thought that I looked particularly good that night. Since I started thinking about you a lot, I lost a ton of weight.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
How much?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
I'm not exactly sure. About fifteen pounds or so.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
That's a lot.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
But you think I look good? You had a good opportunity to observe the distribution of weight on my body recently.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Hmm.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
Don't freak out Doctor. I'm not planning on talking about that. I'm telling you about John. So that evening I was wearing this really short black dress. Nothing fancy really, just a small cloth of Lycra.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
But large enough not to get you arrested, right?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
Doctor! I'm shocked. Shocked, I tell you. But yes, large enough not to be arrested. But small enough to require matching underwear. Don't look at me that way. In the fifties and sixties, women commonly wore underwear that matched their outfits.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
So John didn't approve of your dress?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
He didn't say anything. He just looked at...stared at me. But I wasn't asking for his opinion and Caren thought it was very nice.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
And her boyfriend?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
I think he was too afraid to get punched out by John to comment.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Oh.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
So we get in the car and John and I sit in the back seat. I tried to move as far away from him as I could. But John is nudging closer and closer--totally invading my personal space. Finally he tries to put his hand on my knee. It just freaks me out. I don't even know why I reacted that strongly to him touching me. But I jumped in my seat. And John started to scream: "I knew it. I knew it."
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Knew what?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
That's what I said. But he almost got us into an accident. If you remember it was raining almost the entire night and the wind was very strong. Well Greg almost hit a fire hydrant. He thought that John was yelling to try to worn him against something. But John decided that that was the right time to accuse me of having an affair.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Affair?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
Can you believe that? Besides for work, we haven't seen each other other for the last three weeks. I haven't talked to the man in basically the same amount of time other than to say hello and goodbye. This was the first night we were having a social interaction, if one can call it that, in the longest time. So he deliberately showed up to accuse me of cheating on him. He planned to do it on New Year's Eve! And the fact that there were other people around didn't stop him. And the fact that we weren't even a couple anymore didn't faze him either! I just couldn't believe it! Caren and I both just stared at him--what the hell was he talking about? We were all doing him a favor letting him come along with us and he was clearly set on blowing our evening. It was incredible!
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
What did you do?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
I told him that he was out of his mind, of course. Affair! He was lucky to be in the same space with me. Affair. When I talked about letting him have a chance to break up with me, I didn't mean go on and ruin my New Year's Eve. He was just too much. And of all things to accuse me of--an affair. The only man I've been interested in since John and I started dating is you. And we didn't even do anything to be even remotely called an affair. What an idiot! A normal person would have behaved like a gentleman or at least tried to preserve his own dignity. But he went along and put himself into situation where I, and Greg and Caren, had absolutely no sympathy for him.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
It doesn't sound like this story has a happy ending.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
Well, John deliberately set himself up for a huge disappointment, to say the least.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
You mean you didn't let him down easy?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
I'd already given all the chances in the world and he chose not to take them so...I wasn't all that bad actually.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Really?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
Doctor, in case you haven't noticed--I'm nice. I'm very nice!
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
I will never dispute that.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
Good. Now that we got our facts straight, I basically told John that either he cools it that very second or he'll be thrown out of the car. Manually, if necessary.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
And did it work?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
No. He started to cry.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Oh?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
He said that he never felt this way about anyone else before.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
And what did you tell him?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
That I hope for everyone else's sake he never feels this way again.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Somehow I don't think that really helped the situation.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
No it didn't. But Greg stopped the car at that point and got John out. Then he took him aside and they had a long conversation.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
So Greg took care of it.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
Well sort of. When they got back to the car, John was no longer crying but he was absolutely horrible for the rest of the evening.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
John stayed with you after that?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
Remarkable isn't it? But then John is a remarkable man.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Have a little sympathy Anna. The man did just lose his heart. Believe me--it's a painful thing to do.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
I know. It's just that I am still so angry with him. How did I ever consider going out with him? I knew he was a loser and still I let it happen. It's all my fault really.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
I have to agree with that. You led him on and then you ripped his heart out.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
I gave him something to be heart broken about. I wouldn't be surprised if Mr. Personality is still a virgin.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Anna!
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
I'm just venting Doctor. That's what I'm suppose to do here, right?
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
It's getting late Anna. We should schedule our next appointment.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
Okay Doctor. You just name the time and place and I'll be there.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Next Thursday at four.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
You always manage to take all the potential out of the way you put it.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
What would you rather have me say?
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
I'll see you next Thursday, Anna.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
I don't think I can do that with my eyes.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
Too bad.
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Balis:
|
|
Goodbye Anna. See you next week.
|
|
|
|
|
Ms. Green:
|
|
Goodbye Doctor.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
###
|
|
Doctor Balis' Notes on this Session
Transcripts of Anna Green's Communications
