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Mr. Mazurka:
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Nice office. I get to lay on the couch?
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Dr. Balis:
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Or sit on a chair, whichever you prefer.
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Mr. Mazurka:
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No I'm laying down on the job--don't get to do that
too much around here. If I'm crazy, I want the full treatment.
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Dr. Balis:
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There's no question of "crazy " here, we're
just going to try and help you with your problems--
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Mr. Mazurka:
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Hey I'm fine, it's other people got problems.
Can we talk about some of them?
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Dr. Balis:
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Do you think it would be helpful?
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Mr. Mazurka:
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Anybody would go crazy around this place. You ever deal
with some of these dickhead engineers, pardon my French, think they know
everything 'cause they know source code. Look at you like you're a bunch
of ones and zeros. Fucking nerds, they rule the world now--you got
this all on tape?
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Dr. Balis:
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Just for my own records; I can assure you they go no further
than this room.
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Mr. Mazurka:
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Yeah, right. What if those pricks decide to go through
your desk?
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Dr. Balis:
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Nobody in this company has any reason to violate doctor-patient
privilege. Now you were referred here by Dr. Wilson for some problem
with your arm. Apparently he thought the symptoms might be brought on by
stress--
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Mr. Mazurka:
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Yeah, I know, it's all in my mind. They give me all this
crap to lug around to all these useless meetings, so we can pile it in front
of us and pretend we've read it. Hey all I have to do is sell shit. Nobody
reads this junk, they should save some trees.
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Dr. Balis:
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Dr Wilson couldn't find anything wrong with your arm,
but he did recommend that you see me. Do you feel any particular stress
about anything that's happening at work?
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Mr. Mazurka:
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Oh no, it's just the usual thing, a bunch of geeks with
chips for brains telling me how to run my life. They don't have a clue.
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Dr. Balis:
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Would you like to tell me about your personal life?
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Mr. Mazurka:
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My personal life, that's a laugh. Get up, go to work,
come home. Bitch wife says if I want dinner I can cook it myself, rotten
kids are watching TV and I gotta fight'em for the remote, go to sleep watching
TV, wake up and start over again. That's my personal life. Good thing I
can jerk off left-handed, or I wouldn't have a personal life at all.
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Dr. Balis:
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Do you masturbate frequently?
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Mr. Mazurka:
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Hey, I don't have to sit and take this shit. I'm
out of here.
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(Mr. Mazurka then left the therapy session, before it was scheduled to end.)
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###
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Doctor Balis' Notes on this Session
Transcripts of Joseph Mazurka's Therapy Sessions
