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Dr. Balis:
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Hello, Joe. How are you doing?
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Mr. Mazurka:
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A lot better, Doc. I think that stuff you gave me
really works.
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Dr. Balis:
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You've been taking the medication regularly?
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Mr. Mazurka:
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Yeah, the last couple of weeks.
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Dr. Balis:
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What changes have you noticed?
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Mr. Mazurka:
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Oh, lots of things. My body feels better, and I haven't
been feeling so pissed-off at everyone. I guess I sounded like a real
bastard at first, huh?.
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Dr. Balis:
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You don't have to worry about appearances here, Joe. Feel
free to blow off all the steam you want.
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Mr. Mazurka:
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Okay, but right now I'm feeling fine. Amazing what a
few little pills will do. Oh, and I even have some doodles for you.
You said you were anxious to see some.
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Dr. Balis:
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Thanks, Joe. I'll take a look at them tonight. When did
you draw them?
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Mr. Mazurka:
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Oh, hell. I don't know. A couple of weeks ago. I found
them on my desk and thought you were the perfect guy to have them.
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Dr. Balis:
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I would like to have a look at them. And I'm glad you're
feeling better, but I don't want you to confuse the medication with a cure.
It is just something to make things go a little easier while you work on
yourself.
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Mr. Mazurka:
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You mean I got to keep coming back? You did a great
job, Doc, but I've got other fish to fry. I mean, what's the problem?
I'm a busy man. I'm carrying the load for the whole sales department, even
if I don't get a lot of the credit. Right now, I should be knocking on doors
instead of farting around in here. No offense, but I've got a shitload of
software that's getting obsolete while we're sitting here shooting the shit--you've
got to move this stuff while it's fresh, or it starts to stink, you know?
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Dr. Balis:
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I appreciate that, but don't you think you'd be a more
effective salesman if you got your own house in order?
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Mr. Mazurka:
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My house is doing fine, but if I don't pay the rent
I get chucked out in the fucking street. The salary they pay me here's a
joke--if I don't get commissions, I'm screwed. You know how much they get
for kids' sneakers these days? Whatever I bring in, it's gone the next day.
I don't know, the harder I work, the more I fall behind.
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Dr. Balis:
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I think you will find it is well worth your while to complete
your therapy. It will take some time, but at the end of the day you will
be better off, I promise you.
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Mr. Mazurka:
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So what are we supposed to do now? I told you, I'm feeling
fine. I've even started working out again, getting back in shape. You get
flabby sitting around all the time. How about you, Doc, you ever go to the
gym? Maybe we could spar a few rounds.
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Dr. Balis:
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I'm sure you're out of my league. But I was thinking
we could try some sessions with your wife. She is covered under your
plan, so it wouldn't cost you anything, and I think it could be very helpful.
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Mr. Mazurka:
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Oh, I don't know. A friend of mine went to couples counseling,
and he ended up getting divorced. I can't afford that. We're barely making
it as it is.
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Dr. Balis:
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Well I don't think it always happens that way. Sometimes
it is possible to work things out. You might find yourselves communicating
much more effectively.
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Mr. Mazurka:
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I can communicate with her just fine. I bet she'd
like that--someone to help her bitch at me. You could take turns, like a
tag-team. Sure sounds like fun, but no thanks.
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Dr. Balis:
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I'm sorry you feel that way. I've found that it helps
to get the channels of communication going both ways. You don't need to
feel threatened. Sometimes just learning to listen to another person can
cool things off. If the other person is listening, then you don't need to
shout, right?
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Mr. Mazurka:
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Yeah, maybe. I'll think about it, okay? But we've been
doing better, we've even been getting it on more. If you could get her
to at least pretend she enjoyed it, maybe it would be worth it.
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Dr. Balis:
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Is that what you want?
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Mr. Mazurka:
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It would beat "Are you done yet?" She should
take some whore lessons. They know how to treat a man.
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Dr. Balis:
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Are you still using prostitutes?
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Mr. Mazurka:
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Hey, it's part of my job. You think those buyers
want to spend the night looking at my face? Okay, some of them are fags,
but most of them want to get fixed up. They don't give a shit what computer
they get; they want to get their rocks off, same as everybody. The secret
of my success: understanding human nature.
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Dr. Balis:
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Oh. Have you been getting along with your co-workers?
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Mr. Mazurka:
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I've got to say, most of them couldn't sell cold beer
in the fucking Sahara. But yeah, I'm doing okay with them. I go out and
sell, they sit around with their thumbs up their butts looking for me to
step out of line so they can rat me out. They'd love to get rid of me. Then
there wouldn't be anybody around to show them up.
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Dr. Balis:
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Have they been complaining about you to their superiors?
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Mr. Mazurka:
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Nothing I can't handle. I think the company knows I'm
pulling my weight and then some. My boss isn't going to rock the boat, not
when his bonus is tied to my performance. This guy's a lot smarter than
that cunt they brought in a couple years back--what a bitch. But she got
the message.
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Dr. Balis:
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What message?
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Mr. Mazurka:
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Don't fuck with Mazurka, that's the message. This
sexual harrassment bullshit makes me sick. A guy can't even tell a goddamn
joke around this place without some prissy bitch running to personnel. But
I'm still here and she's long gone.
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Dr. Balis:
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Who was this?
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Mr. Mazurka:
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Uh, Stephanie whatsis. This is ancient history, way
before you got here. They brought her in to give us some "diversity",
I guess. Comes out of some lezzy-feminist college, and she was supposed
to tell me how to do my job. A real ball-breaker--you know the type. She
must have been been crazy to try it on with me. I don't let myself get pussy-whipped
like some of the wimps around here.
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Dr. Balis:
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So what did you do?
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Mr. Mazurka:
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Do? Oh nothing, really. Just kept being myself. Say,
what does this have to do with my therapy? Like I said, she's out of here.
I'm getting along fine. Anything else you want to know?
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Dr. Balis:
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This is for your benefit, not mine. Is there anything
you want to talk about?
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Mr. Mazurka:
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I'm doing great, I got no problems I can't deal with
myself.
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Dr. Balis:
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To be frank, Joe, it doesn't look that way to me. Even
with the medication, it seems like you are having a hard time keeping your
aggression under control.
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Mr. Mazurka:
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You want me to lose my edge? What kind of salesman would
I be without it? It's probably different for doctors, but out in the real
world you got to fight for every crummy nickel, or someone's going to take
it away. You ever read a want-ad for a sales job? Aggressive. That's what
they say they want, every time. If you ain't got it, they'll throw you to
the wolves. I'm about as mellow now as I can afford to be. Any more and
I'd probably get the boot.
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Dr. Balis:
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I don't think you need to worry about that. A little bit
more empathy and concern for others would most likely be helpful in your
career. Maybe some role-playing exercises...
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Mr. Mazurka:
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Aw, come on Doc, I don't have time to play games. Just
give me a clean bill of health and I'm done with this. The whole reason
I've been coming at all is because my boss said I had to, and now he's cool.
I did it, I got better, what more do you want?
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Dr. Balis:
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Like I said Joe, you've made some progress, but you've
got a long way to go. This is all totally voluntary. I can't make you continue
if you don't want...
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Mr. Mazurka:
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Yeah, you can't. Well I've had enough. It's been
swell and everything. I'd like to have time to wallow around in every miserable
minute of my childhood, and figure out all my dreams and everything, but
enough's enough. I've got to earn a living or I really got problems.
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Dr. Balis:
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Look, all I can do is make recommendations. I can't force
you to do anything. If you want me to write a note for your boss, I can
do that, but I can't tell him you are perfectly fine. I would strongly
suggest that you continue therapy, at least for a while.
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Mr. Mazurka:
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Is that what you're going to tell him? Thanks a lot.
But I might have known that's what you'd say. You got your job to protect,
same as the rest.
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Dr. Balis:
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That really doesn't enter into it. But it is my professional
opinion that you continue to need a lot of help, and I'm not going to lie
about it. You can come or not, it's up to you. Now the time's about up.
If you come back, we can talk some more.
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Mr. Mazurka:
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Don't count on it, I'm a busy man. But thanks for
everything, whatever it was. See ya one of these days.
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Dr. Balis:
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Goodbye, Joe.
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###
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Doctor Balis' Notes on this Session
Transcripts of Joseph Mazurka's Therapy Sessions
