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Dr. Balis:
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Hi Joe, how are you doing?
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Mr. Mazurka:
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Not too bad considering.
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Dr. Balis:
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Considering what?
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Mr. Mazurka:
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You know what the fuck I'm considering. I'm not going to waste time going over it. I don't have a lot of time to piss away shooting the shit with you anymore either. That's one of the things I came to tell you. I've had enough of this crap. You're not going to be seeing much more of me; maybe you can read about me in the papers.
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Dr. Balis:
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Oh yes? Why? What have you done?
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Mr. Mazurka:
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Nothing yet. But we're about ready.
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Dr. Balis:
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Who's we? Ready for what?
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Mr. Mazurka:
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That's for me to know and you to find out.
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Dr. Balis:
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Are we talking about you and your buddies from the shooting range? Is this some kind of paramilitary group you're involved with? I hope you aren't planning some kind of violence...
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Mr. Mazurka:
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Violence? What do you know about violence? Violence is being done to us every day, but nobody's doing anything about it. We're in the middle of a fucking war, we're being picked off one by one, but we can't shoot back. Well fuck that. I'm not going to go quietly. You think they're going to get my guns? We're talking cold dead fingers here, don't you forget it. Can't you see what's going on? We've been sold down the river. Clinton...Dole...they're all in on it together. The whole election thing, that's just for show. You ever hear of the Trilateral Commission? It's a bunch of guys who sit down at a table and decide what the whole fucking world is going to think, eat, wear; who's going to get killed. They killed Kennedy because he wouldn't go along--he was a sitting duck; it wasn't a hard shot. But they're not getting me, no sir, no way. I remember Ruby Ridge; I've learned my lesson. I just hope they've learned theirs...
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Dr. Balis:
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Uh Joe, if I really thought you were planning to carry out some sort of violent act, it would be my duty to stop you, you know that don't you?
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Mr. Mazurka:
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Stop me? How the fuck would you stop me from doing whatever the fuck I want, asshole? You and what army?
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Dr. Balis:
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I can have you involuntarily committed for up to 72 hours if I feel you are so disturbed as to be a threat to yourself or others. The police are there to enforce this if need be.
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Mr. Mazurka:
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Really? You'd do that to me? I told you it would wreck what's left of my life to put me in the nuthouse. I'd lose my job and I'd probably never get another one. And all for trusting you enough to share my thoughts with you, thinking you were trying to help. You know what happens to traitors?
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Dr. Balis:
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I don't want to betray you, but I don't want to see you kill yourself or ruin your life either. I have to do what's in your best interest in the long run.
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Mr. Mazurka:
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So you're planning on destroying me for my own good, is that it? Don't you think you might be making a mistake here? Do you think I'm someone you can just fuck with and walk away? You got a bulletproof car, a bulletproof suit, bulletproof skin? You think I'm going to say, "Oh he did it for my own good--that's okay. I forgive him?" You think I'm an easygoing type of guy, you kick me in the ass I'm just going to turn the other cheek? Are you out of your mind?
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Dr. Balis:
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We aren't here to talk about me. In my professional opinion you are a very sick man and I have an obligation to see you get proper treatment. If that can't be done in an outpatient setting, then you need to check into an institution where more intensive therapy is possible. It would of course be better if you went in voluntarily.
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Mr. Mazurka:
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Sick? You think I'm sick in the head? Hey, I'm the sanest guy around here. Just because I come in here and talk some bullshit once a week, you think I'm really crazy? Jeez, can't you tell when a guy's stringing you along? I thought I was supposed to let myself go in here, say whatever came into my head and it was safe, just between us. And now you're talking about calling the cops? What kind of a deal is that?
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Dr. Balis:
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So now you're saying this was all an act? You're not really planning any violent actions?
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Mr. Mazurka:
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Fuck no, my mouth just gets going, you know? If you want, we can just talk about the weather--shit, I'm no goddamn lunatic. I thought you knew the difference. I was just blowing off some steam, shaking some of the demons loose, you know? Sure I've had dark thoughts, but actual violence isn't my thing at all. Let's talk about football. Can you believe the Panthers beat the Niners?
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Dr. Balis:
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We're not here to discuss superficial topics. This is serious business, at least it is for me. I don't know why you've been coming here every week, but I certainly don't see any point in it if you're not honest with me about what's going on with you.
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Mr. Mazurka:
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Yeah, it's like some dates I've been on with chicks. Everything's going along great, then all of a sudden she's yelling rape. Well I don't need this. I thought you were somebody I could talk to that would understand what I'm going through, and maybe help me out a little; at least let me get some shit off my chest, but as soon as I tell you anything the least bit raw, you freak out like some little virgin. Sorry for the misunderstanding, but maybe we should call it quits right now. Don't worry, I'll be a good boy.
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Dr. Balis:
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If that's the way you feel about it, there's not too much I can do. But I'd strongly advise you to let me prescribe some medication that might help with your mood swings, and perhaps with impulse control. You didn't like Prozac, although I thought it did you some good; how about trying Zoloft? I would feel better about the situation if I thought you had some way to stabilize your emotions before you did something you might regret.
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Mr. Mazurka:
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Okay fine, whatever you say. I don't see them doing much, but if it lets you off easy, I'll give 'em a try. But no cops and no guys with the white jackets, okay? I've got enough problems as it is.
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Dr. Balis:
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I'm afraid that if you just drop out of sight you won't get the help I know you need. I don't want to pick up the newspaper and find out that you did something foolish.
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Mr. Mazurka:
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I was just daydreaming. I wouldn't have said that if I'd known you'd get so heated up. Relax Doc. You know I wouldn't hurt a fly, if it didn't get in my face...
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Dr. Balis:
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Maybe not, but you've seemed very irritable lately. Anyway here's the prescription, you can get it filled at the pharmacy down the block. And I want you to at least check in with me once a week. Do you think you can do that?
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Mr. Mazurka:
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Okay but no funny business right? I'm not checking into any nuthouse just because I make you nervous, you got that? And if you sic the cops on me, you'll be sorry. I mean it.
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Dr. Balis:
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No more threats okay? Look just get out of here before I change my mind.
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Mr. Mazurka:
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But the time's not quite up yet. You think the Niners are going to get their passing game going before the end of the season?
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Dr. Balis:
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I don't know and I don't care. I said get out so just do it, okay?
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Mr. Mazurka:
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Now who's irritable? Well, see you around Doc.
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Dr. Balis:
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Goodbye.
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###
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Doctor Balis' Notes on this Session
Transcripts of Joseph Mazurka's Therapy Sessions
