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Dr. Balis:
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Hello, Alex. Please, come in. You look rested this week. How is everything going?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Right now, I think I'm still on hold or something. I don't know, not bad, I guess.
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Dr. Balis:
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What do you mean by "on hold?"
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Mr. Rozzi:
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I guess I'm kind of numb still. It's hard to describe how I feel...if I feel anything right now--still repulsed, maybe? I don't know. But I've been able to get some rest. Oh yeah and I quit smoking. I didn't even need to take those pills you gave me, which works for me. But I decided to throw out my smokes, once and for all.
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Dr. Balis:
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That's a positive step. What made you decide to quit?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Well, old Miss Ralphie doesn't smoke anymore. He's funny. He says to me, "Why spend all that good money on cigarettes, when I can go down to the club and breathe some second-hand smoke for free?" I told him that it's not exactly for free--he's actually getting paid to breathe it since he owns the place!
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Dr. Balis:
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It's nice to see you've retained your sense of humor.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Laughing at the dumbest things is the only thing right now saving me from running down to that jail and kicking Benny's butt myself. But I've heard that someone did it for me already. Lucky break for him--I'd really have hurt him.
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Dr. Balis:
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What do you mean? What happened?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Well, in case you didn't already know, they don't like pedophiles in jail very much. They think it's the ultimate sick thing to do. After all, there's some general etiquette to life that those guys hang onto, and child crimes are the numero uno taboo! Yeah, Roly told me he got beat-up pretty badly. He had to spend a couple days in the jail's hospital or something. Now, they've got him somewhere where no one can get to him, I think. It's a mess, Doctor--a huge big mess. And I still don't know what I'm going to do. Marney told me not to get involved with him in the first place. And now, she's not even acting like she's judging me or anything--no "I told you so's" or anything like that. She just thinks that it's better that I wash my hands of it all.
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm. Who is Marney? I haven't heard you mention her before.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Marney's like the big sister I didn't have. She was my babysitter when my grandparents were still alive--when I was small. Her family moved to France about three years ago. My grandma used to call her parents' "jet-setters", because they were all over the place. But Marney's not really very much older than me, and she used to come over and play with me and stuff. She was always someone who I admired, because she's so wise. I still admire her.
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Dr. Balis:
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I see.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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I heard the doorbell ring and ran down to answer it thinking it was Ralph forgetting his keys, but there she was standing there. I'm like, "How did you find me?" It was such a big surprise, you know? My mom gave her the address. Since she's been here, I've been laughing my head off. The other night, we were in this little club over on Polk Street, and this man comes in completely blasted out of his mind and reeking of booze. He didn't look like a typical drunk; he looked more like a businessman out to blow his own mind. So anyway, he comes in and sits at the table next to us all sloshed and starts talking to us. Marney--being the fun-loving girl that she is--engages him in conversation for awhile. And we're all talking, and then suddenly, he gets this look on his face, looks around a little, leans over, and asks us if we knew where to get a good TV. Marney, in her own classic style, takes a drag off her smoke and kind of points with her thumb. And with a smile she says: "There's a Circuit City right up the street!" And the man goes like, "No, I mean a Tee Vee!" He said it real drawn out this time and a lot louder, and people were starting to look. So I asked him if he meant a video monitor or something. But he was getting perfectly pissed, so he stood up and said: "No, god damn it--a TV, a god damned TV! Doesn't anyone know where I can find a girl with a penis?" And he raged out of the place in a stupor carrying on like that. We could still hear him out there ten minutes later! I think I still hear him now! It was priceless!
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Dr. Balis:
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That's a very interesting story. Sounds like you're enjoying seeing Marney again, Alex. I want to ask you about the tapes.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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You mean the ones I found in Benny's apartment?
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Dr. Balis:
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Yes. If you hang onto them, there is a good possibility that they will be discovered by someone else. Those tapes are evidence against Benny. If someone finds them in your possession...
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Mr. Rozzi:
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You think they would think that I'm involved with them, too? Like I helped to make them or something? Hmm. I hadn't thought about it like that. That's an interesting way of thinking about it. So what you're saying is that I should destroy them?
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Dr. Balis:
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Oh no, Alex, not destroy them. I suggest that you turn them over to the police.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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I don't know, man. Like I told you before, I still haven't decided what to do. But those ones with me and Roly on them...well, I kind of already destroyed them. I had a little symbolic fire in the backyard. And I did go back to Benny's house and got the others--the ones that were left before the police went over there. And I had a nice little bonfire going there for awhile, too. God, it smelled awful. I don't recommend burning any plastic, Doctor.
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Dr. Balis:
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I'll try to avoid it. Alex, you mentioned that you had some other tapes. Where do you have them now?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Why do you want to know that?
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Dr. Balis:
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I'm concerned that if you're keeping them hidden at Ralph's house, it could easily be misinterpreted and Ralph could be accused of being a child pornographer.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Good point, Doctor. Hey, that well-rounded education you have is starting to pay off. Sometimes, I'm about as sharp as a meatball, you know? Marney says I should have been a blonde. Should of, would of, could of! She's so funny. But you know, that really is a good point about the tapes. I need to do something with them, but I don't know how to explain how I got them. I mean, it's not like I can go into the police and tell them that I just broke into Benny's house and stole them while he was in jail, you know?
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Dr. Balis:
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Hmm. Well, Alex, I've always found that the truth is the easiest in the long run. If you decide to give them to the authorities, tell them what you told me--you had a key to Benny's house and you wanted to see if he was there. When you found these tapes, you didn't know what to do so you took them with you. How does that sound?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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It's too easy. I don't know about this. I guess I need to think about it some more. Maybe I'll talk to Marney and Ralph about it a little more, too. I already told you what Marney thinks, and Ralph is so pissed at Benny that he wants to take the tapes down himself. He even threatened to do it, if I don't.
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Dr. Balis:
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Well, I certainly think it's something to seriously consider. Perhaps if you do that, Benny'll get an opportunity to get some help. Some people can't or won't get help without outside intervention. Sort of like how you found yourself here in my office in the first place.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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I see what you mean--like forcing it on him or something.
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Dr. Balis:
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I suppose that's another way of saying it, yes.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Oh, I almost completely forgot about this. Remember when my house got broke in to? Well, I think it was Benny who did it.
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Dr. Balis:
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What makes you think that?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Well, when I got home that day and found the place all messed up, the mess looked as if it was focused on the entertainment center in the living room and on my videotapes and stuff. According to Roly, Benny had been frantically searching for this videotape, and he thought that either Roly or I had picked it up by mistake. He knew that I would get suspicious, I guess. But when he found out that Roly didn't have it, he came looking for it at my place and still didn't find it. Guess who had it? His wife Dora did, and that's why she took the kid and got out of there.
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Dr. Balis:
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What was on the tape? Was it you?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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No way, thank God. It was that kid he molested. After Dora found it, she gave it to the police. The police found this kid and talked to him, and the rest is history. It was the proverbial nail in his coffin. I'm so glad I had the sense to take back my drawings when I was there getting those tapes.
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Dr. Balis:
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You have some drawings?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Yes, I do. It's something that I do to escape reality, I guess. I made these drawings of cars for Benny, as gifts--he's such a car enthusiast. I had to get them back, you know? I think they mean a lot more to me than they ever did to him, the jerk. I wish I could get my hands on him, you know? I'd really give him what he deserves--no law is going to give him just punishment. They should just turn him over to me, and I'll take care of the details. It should be like the old days, you know? Where the criminal is strung up in a public square somewhere. And in my fantasy, his victims...or his victims' families...or both would get a few swings each at him with a big baseball bat with spikes on the end. Yeah! And red pepper sprinkled on the spikes, so when they pierced his skin, it would burn even more. Yeah! And then, the rest of the public would go at him till there's nothing left but pulp. Yeah, that sounds real good to me! Oh, yeah! What I wouldn't give up to get my moment with him.
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Dr. Balis:
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That's very graphic, Alex. Do you draw some of these fantasies?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Would you want to look at it?
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Dr. Balis:
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Of course, I would. I'm very interested in seeing your work. Would you bring me some?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Actually, I never have done anything too horrible--no blood and guts or other gore. I just save all that for ears and imaginations. I saw it was working on you! Ha, ha! You really got a funny look on your face, when I was talking about my fantasy public flogging session on Benny. But my artwork is kind of plain--pen and ink stuff mostly. But I'm starting to branch out into color more. Wow! I'm really surprised that you'd want to see any of it. I mean you are...what's the word? Cultured. You seem like someone who has discriminating tastes.
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Dr. Balis:
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You make me sound so stuffy. But yes, I really do want to see some of it. Would you mind?
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Mind? I'd love to show you some of it! No one has ever shown any interest in anything like that with me. Except for Marney, that is; she always inspires me somehow. I remember this drawing that she did one time, and I wish we could find it again--it was so cool. She drew a Scrabble board in color pencils. It had her ashtray with a lit cigarette in it, and I think there was a joint or a pipe, I can't remember exactly. And she even drew in a mirror with lines of coke on it--for effect, she said, because neither of us has ever done coke. But it was the coolest thing, and I loved it and was awe struck by her imagination and skill. It totally impressed me. But, yeah, I'll bring you some stuff to look at. Maybe, I'll even give you something if you want.
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Dr. Balis:
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Thank you, Alex. I look forward to seeing your work. Well, it seems we have run out of time.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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Thanks, Doctor. You aren't as stuffy as I made you sound, but you know how it is? It's a generational kind of thing, you know?
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Dr. Balis:
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Goodbye, Alex.
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Mr. Rozzi:
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See you, Doctor!
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###
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Doctor Balis' Notes on this Session
Transcripts of Alex Rozzi's Communications
